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Old 10-01-2011, 07:58 AM   #155
I go back to black....
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Back2Black is an unknown quantity at this point
Join Date: Oct 2011
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I guess I kind of a have a sob story here, but I'll try to make it less whiny. I did date an NDN guy for almost a year, and it was terrible. It had nothing to do with his background (I'm a black female, I didn't give a flying squirrel's butt then, I still don't, now) but it had everything to do with the people around us.

I was a naive art Freshman in college and he really was one of the first people I met on campus. Now, mind you, I was interested in the culture and customs loooong before I met him (no, I'm not a wannabe, I just happen to be a bit of a historical culture geek), but I believed that when we jumped into our 'fling', we were both prepared for prepared as two college students ever were.

His friends were a different story. They were white, they were mostly female, and, to be brutally honest, they were extremely stuck up and looked down on me, immediately. Particularly, one girl in the group who considered herself as the 'leader'. She wanted to date my ex and really gave me a hard time whenever I tried to befriend her or cushion things between us. She was about 23 or 24 and had the maturity of a menstruating 11 year old. If things didn't go her way, she either cried, or acted as if she were the HBIC (Head B>>>> In Charge).

She would often try to butt into our relationship and invite herself to any 'private' outing we had together. If we ever had any privacy. He was not without flaws, himself. He never asserted himself against her and pretty much let her boss us all around. He never stood up for himself, unless, I had to beg him to do it, and after that, I was still on my own. He grew to be possessive. He didn't want me to have male friends outside of the small group we had, and he always had something to say about the way I dressed or did my hair ("Why did you get THAT style? You know that looks stupid!").

God, I couldn't make a proper dirty joke around him without a getting a speech about how it makes some of the people in the 'group' uncomfortable, only to hear someone else make that same joke and everyone laughs.

The last straw had to have been after spring break. Without warning, he decided to just stop talking to me. He'd purposely avoid me and not speak for me days. Dumb as I was, I simply accepted it and held my tongue and texting fingers, thinking, "Oh, he'll come around. He's just busy."

A week passes. Two weeks pass. A month. Two months. He's still doing the same thing he did before, and yet, we're still listed as girlfriend and boyfriend on Facebook and he hasn't even bothered to say, "Happy Birthday" or "I love you." In fact, he never said, "I love you" or "You're beautiful" or any of the crap. He just wanted sex and food and for me to just shut up and deal while he played Yugi-oh with his friends. But moving on...

I break down. And call him, angry, and I basically told him if he wanted to break up with me, tell it to my face and stop hiding. He couldn't just throw me away like some used tissue. I was a human being with feelings and a heart...and the day after that, he decided that it was best for us to break up. No true explanation, except, that I would get, "angry" and he just could not deal with an "angry" woman. More like a fed up woman pushed the edge.

So, the moral of the story is this: Don't jump into a relationship without fully knowing the person first. Regardless of creed, skin color, religion, they may be the greatest mistake or love of your life.
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