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Old 01-17-2012, 01:01 AM   #81
muskrat_skull
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There is definitely racism, and so much people don't even realize it when its going on sometimes. my friends used to ask me whether we were Mexicans all the time, like my aunts and uncles when they visited, and we don't even know what nation grandma was from, she's a total different color than her family! The family she lived with bootlegged, worked on steamboats for generations, and ran taverns. I don't even know how she came to be with them, but that she suffered bad abuse she would not talk about it.

Girls can be just taken by people and married off or whatever, back just a few generations. When my mom told her boyfriend, who's a jerk and slovakian, that I took after and spent lots of time as a child with the "Indian" part of the family, he started criticizing me and prefacing it with "you can tell she's an Indian..." I no longer speak to him. I went to Missouri and heard all kinds of bad things and bad names I hadn't heard since I was out west. I couldnt believe what people were like out west. A bunch of cowboy dorks.

I identify with this part of my family because I was very close to them and treated badly by my own family and only had love and peace with them. My mom doesnt care a bit about her Indian blood, she thinks she's too high class even for her own family, but my grandpa loved me alot. Her father and my grandma taught me alot of basic things as a very young child and I would say did more to raise me than my own folks. I think this has something to do with how you see yourself when you are mixed. My aunt says my sister and mom are so pink, they are, I was a throwback. My grandparents are always with me (they have passed on) but my other relatives I do not have the same feeling. I think I would cry every day if I did not have them with me.

We couldn't see grandma pray, we left her tobacco. We couldn't know how to pray, not the words, but my aunt showed me how grandma waved tobacco up into the air and how she burned it when we were little kids. We had to keep it a secret. If my born again Christian family found out, or the rest of the Christian neighbors, Social Services probably would have taken us away. she had no community to support her.
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