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Old 01-17-2012, 03:26 PM   #89
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Originally Posted by comadre View Post
~sigh~ I apologize if my words seemed harsh. After sleeping on it I wondered if I could have been more gentle with my words or whether I should have said anything at all.Generally I am one who holds up the positive in all things.The encourager if you will. But-I lacked some self control on this issue last night.I may have even overstepped my bounds a bit by even being the one to bring up the subject. If I have offended, I apologize.
I think what Josiah has to say is good. So I would like to hear more of what he has to say.Thanks for listening.

I don't think you were out of line comadre. I think you spoke from what you know and experience. You as a spouse of a native deal with some stuff too because you are with a native, sometimes I think twice as bad, cause you not only get it from some of the natives who are prejudice, (yep I said it), but from the white community because you are with a native. My wife gets it also, and from some of her own family. My opinion you don't owe anyone an apology. I don't think you came off any other way but informative and respectful.

Originally Posted by muskrat_skull View Post
No heat and people dying, and all the rest of the problems listed. It's why some people felt that giving up their kids or moving off rez was the right thing to do. Its horrible that these should be identifying factors of being Indian. And for these adopted out kids and other people who felt compelled to leave, having fragmented culture, secret culture, or complete loss of culture, is bad too.

So the choice is, stay and suffer or leave and suffer some too. Or be taken away, worse. So when people reconnect, they are faulted for leaving and not maintaining contact. I understand it, but it is bad too, because it denies the depth of the racism that forced the people away in the first place and people fail to realize the sacrifice these people made or were forced to make in the case of adoption. There is no good answer. It's horrible and unnatural, that's why there is no answer. As for drinking and drugs, it follows you around no matter where you are. My family was destroyed by not knowing, literally. And they got discriminated based on their skin color too.

So don't be hard on those who don't know, because some are not so distantly related. And for those who leave, sometimes all they get to know is all the bad things and none of the good things, imagine that. For a long time I thought being mixed indian means low self esteem and as a woman being treated bad, esp. by white guys if you told them you are part Indian. My ex who was Indian treated me so different, so much better. I saw alot of abuse though, I think that was from the boarding schools and alcoholism, not an aspect of culture, at least not in my family, quite the opposite, we kids were spoiled.

The problem is not that when folks RE-connect they are treated bad. The problem is folks trying to connect to something that is not there. In all honesty, I would rather someone who has 1/128 blood just come out and be honest and say, look, somewhere in the wood pile, there is native, but it's so far down the line it's more like kindling, but I'm curious as to what the life and culture and heritage is like. Unfortunately that's not how it goes, you know that, you've seen it on here. That's all I'm saying. And the other thing is, is that I wish we could just break this romanticized Hollywood fairytale that folks think it is to be native. It's tough being Native, and that's just that. Anyway I'm done.
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