[park]

I agree that most don't know what's going on when someone is being honored during a gourd dance. If you don't know the person, don't feel obligated. A lot of people don't know the ways in which such honorings are done (for some tribes and groups, there are "rules"). I've also seen some abuses, such as honoring over and over to try to raise gas money (puh-lease). Things have definitely changed over time in this respect.

I think you should shake hands with everyone dancing after you are honored. Everyone includes the women, by the way, who are often left out. If it's a huge dance, I've seen people kind of wave around and do a little sign language to say thanks. I think that's appropriate also. If people are griping, I'd say it's because they don't understand.