Thread: OthelloBloke
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Old 09-29-2007, 03:05 AM   #16
timmy tiger
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Join Date: Aug 2007
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OB--I don't have a problem with you persay. I haven't really been on a thread (that I know of) that you have done that so much on until this one. Each person is entitled to their own opinion. But I'm thinking that the problem isn't so much with Understanding as it is with Acceptance. When I ask a question of someone and I don't like the answer or don't understand what they are trying to say--then I will go and ask someone else. I will continue to do this until I find someone who I can understand it from.

Maybe I can explain it in another way to, maybe, make my point and at the same time explain something that I had said to you. I am not a male so I can't speak of Warrior things, but I am a female and a "Mother" in every sense of the word.

You had said something about your kids and it had scared me. Not because of my own life (a very little of that) but because I am right now dealing with 4 children who are going through alot.

As I said--I am a Mother, to many children--not just the one that I gave birth to. Most of them call me "Auntie" and I would do anything to protect them. This includes your children and I don't even know you. It doesn't matter to me wether you are my best friend or my worst enemy (which you are neither), I would never do anything to harm your children and if they were in danger, I would put my life up for theirs. These are not just words for me--I have and am and will continue to put my life on hold for any child for as long as they need me to. So maybe this is part of what the Warriors feel who go into the Military and put their lives on the line every day for people they don't even know. I can't answer that, I'm not a soldier, many of them are not mother's and we don't question each other---we accept each other.

Now, you said that you are not Indian but that you live on a res. I am mixed blood and I don't live on a res--but I go to visit my family and friends and stay as long as I can. So we are in somewhat they same place. Many of the people who live near me and that I know don't understand me either and they are always asking me to explain myself (notice what I said--how offensive could that be to always be expected to explain yourself) and then if they don't like the answer the let me know that they think that I'm "stupid" for what I do. And that's their opinion and I just go on. I like very much when I get together with some of my other Indian women friends because it's just acceptance and not explaining anyones self, it's like we all just seem to automatically understand each other without having to say the words and that's something that not many have.

I have a son and his father is not Indian, but he knows alot because he has learned from my family on the res as well. But he has had problems with some of the things that I do and it has caused alot of problems. The 4 children that I mentioned above are a major part of my life, I have put my life on hold for them and put them as equal to my own son. My son accepted this and now I am seeing the same thing in him. Three of them were taken from their parents several years ago because the parents "stood up to their convictions". These children want very little (if anything) to do with either of their parents because of that. The oldest one's father was in a severe accident and the child didn't even go to the hospital to see him. These children range in age of 10 years old to 18 years old. One of the younger ones came to me and said "My parents weren't there for me, so now I don't want to have anything to do with them." I won't put parents down to a child, but I won't punish a child for their feelings either. This has been going on for the past 6 years or more. My sons father could never accept this and was always mean and hateful about it. He would start yelling at me and calling me all kinds of names just to make himself look like he was right. He could never understand this because he could never accept it. I know that the European way is "I raised mine. Now, you raise yours. They are not my problem." Well, now that's not the Indian way---not what I'm taught by my family, anyway. I have talked with a good friend of mine from SD and she said "No, the children are all of our responsibility." That's the way that I feel about it. And maybe that's the way that the Soldiers feel too. I can't tell you that for sure, just a thought.

A relative of mine once said to me "What makes you think that you will ever understand it, if you can't accept it first?" That makes sense.

We can't hold anger and hate inside of us, it will eat us alive. We have to let it go sometime so that we can move on with our lives.
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