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I will share with you my feelings, my soul. I will let my pains go and let my hardship be lessened. I will share myself with you. This is my blog, my words that I wish to share with you. OOSE

Main | MY MEDICINE, My life(part 2) »

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MY MEDICINE, My Life and the blessings Part 1

Posted 11-29-2007 at 01:53 AM by woggs
"It is the story of all life that is holy and it is good to tell, and for us two-leggeds sharing in it with the four leggeds and the wings of the air and all the green things; for these are children of one mother and their father is one spirit”( Black Elk Speaks p.1).
When Black Elk tells his story I believe he is reminding us at that in every story there is something holy, and good to be exchanged. From every person’s story we all learn a little bit more about how to be a good person or how to handle a problem or go about something. I feel that, by relating my own story to the stories and words of the great intellects of the past and present, I can find help and gain more strength to do the best I can in the life that I was blessed with.
My story for you starts when I woke up on the road, my body was twisted, and I couldn’t move. I realized at that moment that something horrible was wrong. I was lying there and my first thoughts were to pray. I didn’t scream out or go into shock; my first reaction was to stay calm and just pray that it’s not as bad as it all looks. I didn’t know if I was the only one alive or not. All I knew is that there was a morning mist surrounding my broken body and blood was running down my face. As, I prayed I could hear people screaming and I heard my son Nakeezaka crying. I looked back as best I could; my neck bones were broken as well, and I seen my son sitting next to my husband’s body crying. I seen my brother-in-law’s come running over and grab Nakeezaka, to comfort him from the horrible sight, he was only six years old. This is the moment that I realized life would never be the same, and that will probably never fade from my memory. This journey I’ve had, has brought me to realize the meanings of my life and the understand the indigenous concepts of life, death, spirituality and it gave me a sense of what religion means for me, as an indigenous woman, it’s a healing process and this paper is a small piece of that process and a small piece of my life journey.
There were four of us in the Ford F-150 double cab, it was bright red and we all felt “cool” cruising in it. My husband Daryl, my son Nakeezaka, my daughter Maliah, my little sister Leela and I were traveling back from a memorable weekend. The Chippewa Cree Powwow in Rocky Boy, Montana was quite a celebration; we were invited to many feasts, the champions of special contest dances and enjoyed an exceptionally nice weekend. It was a weekend I will never forget because it was the last weekend of happiness that I’ve had in my life so far. I was only 24 years old and still hadn’t lived up to all the dreams I had for my family.
As a family, we camped at the celebration with my two sisters Lacey and Leela, my three cousins Challis, Joseph, and Summer, Summer’s boyfriend Everett and Lacey’s boyfriend Thomas. Daryl and I had just bought a new tent and air mattress so that we could feel more comfortable; almost make a little home of our camp. We had the same tent as Summer and Ev, so we all decided to set up our camp so our tent doorway’s would open to one another’s. We had lawn chairs and ice chests for water and food. It was great because the two tents were 10-man tents each and there were only 11 of us camping. Looking back we all agree that it was one of the most perfect and peaceful weekends of our lives. Yes, we had been there to powwow and were dancing in the competitions, but we did spend a considerable amount of time relaxing, talking and eating. We even went swimming. It was a weekend that I will never forget. There is so much to talk about, I remember so many little details of the last days I had with my family.
The celebration started on a Thursday, but we arrived Friday morning, bushy haired, happy and rearing to have a good powwow weekend. Our camp was always filled with laughter, the kids were always doing crazy things or someone would come walking through our camp and stop for a quick visit, usually leaving a funny joke or story with us to giggle about. This was the way it was, it was about loving life, being happy and not worrying about the little things in life, just living it. Life is our blessing and if you take care of and nurture that blessing, more life blessings would come our way, that was what me and my husband always lived by. We lived by, what I call the “Indian way”, which is when you always take care of your family, friends and those in need, because these are the people who will be there for you when you need help the most. My grandmother taught me that, she would always give us advice on the how to be a good person, she would always get mad at us when we’d get greedy or when we’d get lazy. Those were some of the lessons or teachings we traveled along the “powwow trail” with. And our children were being raised with these teachings as well, it made us feel grateful to have such good families whom carried those traditional values for centuries, so that we may be blessed by them.
As we camped, danced and enjoyed the powwow celebration we were unaware of the tragedy in our lives that would come in a few days. One thing that was very clear in all of our minds was the great harmony, beauty, and perfection of our lives. There we were, all happy as can be, enjoying what little we had. Sitting and laughing, dancing and feeling good, visiting and sharing the kinship and love of our other Indian friends. There were families camped all around us and we noticed that there was a feeling of comfort and harmony on the last day of the powwow, we were full from the feasts we had been invited to, and it was time for all the dancers and singer’s to get ready and dance. Yet, no one in any of the camps was getting ready, the M.C. was saying, “Come on dancers and singers, grand entry is in 20 minutes”, everyone was busy enjoying the feeling of that day.
The day started very hot, my daughter danced in her new jingle dress and our whole group of friends and relatives went over to observe what she had learned from her observations of the older jingle dancers. We noticed that she danced like one of our friends who is a champion women’s jingle dancer. Maliah, raised her little turkey fan on each honor beat and moved her little head in a very professional manner, we could all tell that she had it in her to be a great dancer someday. She would come back to us after each song and we would encourage her and cheer her on. My husband told her “Maliah, dance hard and we’ll get you a snow cone after this song, ok baby”. She nodded and went back out to the arena making all of her family and all of our friends proud to see her carrying on the powwow dance.
So, there we were after that hot session of dancing enjoying the cool breeze, feeling full of good feast food and feeling good from the way our weekend and our lives had come to be, we noticed that life seemed perfect. It wasn’t just us, one of the men from another camp came into ours and said “This is what life is about!” we all agreed, we were doing what we loved with the people we loved. I felt a breeze blow across my face,
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