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I will share with you my feelings, my soul. I will let my pains go and let my hardship be lessened. I will share myself with you. This is my blog, my words that I wish to share with you. OOSE

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MY MEDICINE, My life (part5)

Posted 11-29-2007 at 02:10 AM by woggs
Updated 11-29-2007 at 02:18 AM by woggs
I've learned alot, not only from life but from my educational journey at Haskell Indian Nations University. I have been burying my nose into books becuase they are helpful to me. I learned from Luci Tapahonso’s hardships to cope with the death of her grandchild. Her experience “spoke to me”, I understood how it feels to want to hang onto something so precious becuase it is too hard to let go. "The Shawl" by Louise Erdrich was an awakening, it was almost as if the whole entire story was something that I have been feeling, the burdens we carry will lessen if we learn to let go and let the Creator take them away. Black Elk’s words were important for me, they are the words of man whom I will never know in this life, but his life is intertwined with mine, his story is mine. Simon Ortiz, shared with me that our traditional beliefs can carry us far, even to the top of a mountain. Cajete helped me express that sharing with another is the best education. Lesli Silko helped me realize, in Tayo’s journey, that we have to look to our teachings to help us through hardships. Joseph Marshall knows that storytelling equals healing and lessons for life. There are even more to discuss. I mostly enjoyed Joseph Marshall’s book. In each story is a lesson, the lesson can help us in our everyday life, even through time and space. No matter what era we are living in, the 1800s, 1900s, 2000,s and beyond, the lessons will always be as meaningful. Lessons and experiences are our blessings as people and we must share our blessings with others. Life is our medicine.
I wrote this essay between the last two memorials for my late husband and daughter, in May of 2007. I guess I needed to share with people what their words mean to me. I only shared the stories that touched me from famous Native authors. I would also like to someday recount the times when someones words changed my life, the ordinary people who touch my world everyday.
After I wrote this essay, I read a book similar to my own story. It was a story about hardships, struggle, tragedy and the loss of a family. It was a story about a man who survived much more than I could ever imagine, he survived 5 concentration camps. He was a psychoanalyst, Viktor Frankl. The book that shot him to celebrity (in the world of psychology) is called "Man's Search For Meaning". I really enjoyed this book and wish for you all to read it. It kind of told my own feelings for me, my own feelings about how we endure. If we have meaning or hope or even love..we can overcome anything, no matter what there is strength in this.
In closing I would like to tell you all to keep an eye out becuase I will add to this essay. I have another account of this same struggle. Here I am, tonight I can say that I have lived through it all again. OOSE

Bosveld, Jane. OMNI Magazine. “Interview: Alfonso Ortiz”. March 1990 Volume 12, 6. (pg. 74-79, 94-97)
*Cajete, Gregory A. (1994). Look to the Mountains: An Ecology of Indigenous Education. Kivaki Press. Skyland, NC.
*Deloria, Vine Jr. (2nd edition 1994). God Is Red: a Native View of Religion. Fulcrom Press. Golden, CO.
Deloria, Vine Jr. (2006). The World We Used To Live In: remembering powers of the medicine men. Fulcrum Publishing. Golden, CO.
*Erdrich, Louise. (2005). The Painted Drum. “The Shawl”. Harper Collins Publishers. New York, NY.
Harjo, Joy. The Woman Who Fell From the Sky. New York: W.W. Norton, 1996.
*Linderman, Frank B. (1974). Pretty Shield: Medicine Woman of the Crows. Bison Books/ University of Nebraska Press. Lincoln, NB.
*Marshall, Joseph M. III. (2001). The Lakota Way: Stories and Lessons For Living. Penguin Compass Press. New York, NY.
*Neihardt, John G. (1995) Black Elk Speaks: Being the life story of a holy man of the Ogalala Sioux. Eight Edition. Bison Book Press. Lincoln, NB. (originally published 1932)
*Ortha, Lutia. Lecture/ Discussion. (March 7, 2007). Law and American Indian Religious Freedoms. AIS 348-01. Spring 2007
Silko, Leslie Marmon. (1977). Ceremony. Penguin Books. New York, NY.
Tapahonso, Luci. (1997). Blue Horses Rush In. The University of Arizona Press. Tucson, Az.
*Wall, Steve. (1993). Wisdom’s daughters: Conversations with Women Elders of Native America. Harper Collins Publishers. New York NY.
(* Cited Sources)
Total Comments 3


NorthofAda's Avatar
Willow - I pray for your continued healing through your tough times. I want you to know that your words hear, though they made me cry with thinking of your sadness, also brought a reminder of how important it is to appreciate life today, with all its problems and stresses, because you don't know about tomorrow. You reminded me that our burdens are meant to be taken to the Creator and left with Him. Thank you for sharing.
Posted 11-29-2007 at 12:44 PM by NorthofAda NorthofAda is offline
If I had the power to make life shiney and new, I'd wrap it up and give it to you.
As long as a willow is green, or alive, it bends but doesn't snap. It may not be the biggest tree in the woods, but it is one of the strongest. You wear your name well. Stay strong sister..... songs and prayers are sent your way.
Posted 12-06-2007 at 04:43 PM by k9soldier k9soldier is offline
Lakota Wiyan's Avatar
I was thinking about your daughter, and how you knew you wouldnt be able to see her grow up. I think that some of the strength you have, just to get through this tragedy, plus what happened a couple years later, is a part of the strength and courage that she had in her, which would have grown and blossomed as she became a woman. The courage you show in sharing such intimate and personal feelings is helping so many more people than you can possible imagine, and that is probably the greatest tribute you can pay to your daughter. Through you, she is still being a force and an inspiration to Native people through out Indian Country, and even around the world! You come from a family of extremely beautiful women, and when I see that amazing smile, especially, on your mom's face, I see your little girl, and the beautiful woman she would have physically become. Willow, because you shared your family so much with all of us, Mahlia, in her short little four years, is living a life time, and inspiring us. Just think of all the little girls who are going to get extra hugs and kisses from their Moms, Grammas, and Aunties, because of your story. Thank you for being so open, and remember, you are still in our prayers, forever.
Posted 08-04-2008 at 03:30 PM by Lakota Wiyan Lakota Wiyan is offline
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