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Feeling alone
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#1 |
Pow Wow Visitor
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Hey, I just felt like ranting, so if you're not in the mood for that, there's your warning.
![]() -- I've been really bothered lately. I mean, this has always bothered me, but now it's getting on my nerves. It's about my heritage. My ancestry does not match my race. What do I mean by this, and why does it bother me? Well, I have a strange mix of places my family originated from. To be summed up, the majority are European, Native American, and Middle Eastern. Despite having these heritages and a "darker skinned" (I guess you can say) father, I am white. I do realize this means nothing. After all, race is really just a concept. Our skin tone does not make us any less human, and our heritage just tells us where our ancestors came from to where we are today. It's with that, that I want to learn more about my ancestors. I mean no disrespect to the Native American community. I'm also Blackfoot and Navajo, but I don't bring that up for my own sake. Unfortunately, when I tell a Native American I'm Cherokee... being white... I think you can see the picture. Yeah, they tell me I'm a liar and start making mockeries. I see it on this website as well. Look, I get how this can bother you. If you don't see me as Native American, that's fine. I don't either, but I do respect you and want to learn about your way of life. Can you respect me? I feel unwelcome wherever I go. My Middle Eastern isn't prominent in me, and I don't know much about it, so I rarely bring it up. I do, however, learn more about it when I can. The same goes for the rest of my background. As a child, I used to live on a reservation over the summers with my family. I learned a lot about their life, and I wanted to be a part of it. Unfortunately, I had to go back to "my life." I've wanted to learn more since I returned home, but as I get older, the less welcome I am by these communities. To Native Americans, I'm white. I'm a joke. To white people, I'm weird looking and multi-racial. Surprisingly, someone tried to insult me and call me "redskin" (hahaha I hope that was a joke, he sounded serious though). Don't worry, this is normal in society too though. I see white men getting thrown under the bus just for being white. I'm very well aware there are racist white folks, but racists exist no matter the color. Why is it offensive for a white to be proud of their heritage, but it's okay if you're a different race? We shouldn't defined by our heritage, just equally allowed to embrace it. I personally hate this double standard, because society is trained to hate whites, which means I get denied the right to embrace my ancestry. Despite Europe doing some horrible things, there are some cool things about my heritage that I embrace. For one, I am Irish. A big part of life in Ireland is dancing, much like Native American powwows (though the dances are not the same, duh). It seems though, that this is not allowed. I get hushed a lot for it, so I've just become afraid of even mentioning the cultures that my family embraces. I feel alone. Not only do I have a strange combination of blood that most do not have, but I get shunned for it too. Does anyone else ever feel this way, have a unique background, or have a similar experience they'd like to share? I'm Irish, Scottish, Dutch, French, Spanish, German, Italian, Palestinian, Jewish, Japanese, and Native American (Mostly Blackfoot, Apache, Cherokee, and Navajo). The majority of my heritage is Irish, Dutch, French, and Native American though. |
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#2 |
Standing Rock
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i would say that you should post in some of the threads and play some of the games. get to know other people on the site and establish friendships with other members through the forums.
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#3 |
Hello from SoCal
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"Among some 19th and early 20th century politicians, there was also the hope that eventually, Native Americans would intermarry and assimilate with whites to the point that they would no longer have the power of a cohesive group – and would no longer have a right to land and monetary payments from the government" (Siek).
The best thing about being "mixed" is that you are like a cameleon! One weekend you can go to the Irish Scottish games and the next weekend you can go to a Pow Wow! What matters more than what other people are thinking about you is what your ancestors are looking down saying. I'm sure they are so proud that you are celebrating and honoring every aspect of your cultural heritage. :) Who's a Native American? It's complicated ? In America - CNN.com Blogs |
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#4 |
Dances With Fat Chicks
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what rez did you spend your summers on?
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"I on the trail of a possible good Indian lady and she is reported to like the old way's and she to believes in big family and being at home with kids all the time"... - MOTOOPI aka WOUNDED BEAR ![]() |
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#5 | |
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#6 |
Pow Wow Visitor
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To be honest, I don't know for sure. I was 4-7 years old. At the time, I didn't know what a reservation was until my dad explained it to me. I just thought the reservation was normal because I fit right in. I do know that it was in Arizona, near the edge of New Mexico. I was staying with my aunt, uncle, and grandfather who lived in the Navajo and Apache tribes. My grandfather lived in what I think is the White Mountain Apache Reservation and my aunt and uncle lived in Navajo Nation. They visited the house my great grandfather lived in which was in Utah, so I think it was Navajo. I'm ashamed I don't know this, but I can't call my aunt and uncle to ask because they don't have phones. I might see them for Christmas though. I'll ask them then.
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#7 | |
Pow Wow Visitor
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Wanjica Infinity No One |
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#8 |
The voices tell me...
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I liked the way you used 'puhleeze'. hehehe
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Why must I feel like that..why must I chase the cat? "When I was young man I did some dumb things and the elders would talk to me. Sometimes I listened. Time went by and as I looked around...I was the elder". Mr. Rossie Freeman |
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#9 |
Pow Wow Committee
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Don't forget the ninja LOL
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When you are dead you don't know that you are dead. It is difficult only for the others. It is the same when you are stupid. "Show me somethin" |
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#10 | |
Pow Wow Visitor
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#11 | |
Pow Wow Visitor
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Wanjica Infinity No One |
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#12 |
Pow Wow Visitor
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Well, since everyone thinks it's okay to be sarcastic, I thought I'd give my say. After all, this is a forum and I'm here to say what's on my mind.
My reason for entering this forum is to learn about Native American culture. I've always loved it because of my ma-maw. She taught me such wonderful things about the Great Spitit. She was such an amazing woman. She made the Native culture seem so tolerant and accepting. Perhaps that's my mistake for assuming that your culture's primary concern is preserving, protecting, and becoming one with all that is around you... except white people. The Great Spirit didn't make them. REALLY NOW?! I don't care if my story sounds unbelievable. No matter who someone is or where they come from, if they respect you and have a genuine want to learn about your culture, you respect and teach them. What happened to hospitality? Did that die? Apparently so. I don't care if you're all joking, there's a line that needs to be drawn and you know exactly where it is. It's pretty hypocritical to be unwelcoming when you supposedly stand for hospitality. Frankly, I'm tired of it. I was actually hurting when I wrote this forum, but now I realize that culture doesn't even matter. Who cares? No one lives up to the things they say they stand for anymore. This might offend some of you, but I don't care. This is the internet. Native American culture is DEAD. Everything that you once stood for is washed up. Everything that was passed down from generation to generation has slowly played telephone and changed meanings based on your behavior. It makes me sad, because I love what I was told, but hey, maybe everything I was ever told is a lie and this is who you are. |
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#13 | |||
Pow Wow Committee
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I’m too old for this.
If you were to come to my home. I would feed and shelter you. I would be kind. That is hospitality. But, I would not take you to ceremony. Quote:
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Second, you are romanticizing. Indians are people. We’re not tolerant, earth mother tree-hugging accepters of all lost souls. We’re survivors and the children of survivors. We’ve lived in the shadow of the end of the world. My culture has had a really bad couple of centuries, what with epidemic disease, warfare, economic devastation, cultural suppression, political oppression and all. You bet my people are interested in preserving what shreds remain. This does not include violating my culture’s teaching about the appropriate way to share cultural and religious knowledge. My people’s teaching do not obligate me to share with all comers, so they can steal and distort our last bastion of identity. You mistake non-interference for tolerance. Traditional people may not interfere when someone is misusing the sacred. But, this does not mean they sanction these actions. Decolonizing means restoring and protecting our original teachings for our children. Sometimes respect means respecting boundaries. Respect means accepting no as well as yes. Quote:
Prior to your tantrum I was considering giving some advice. As I said at the start, I’m getting too old to spend another hour trying to help with another case of thin-blood, mixed-blood angst. Lest you accuse me of hating mixed bloods, or the unenrolled, or the fair-skinned, let me clarify. I'd have to break my mirror if I did. (Actually with the sags and wrinkles proceeding this upcoming birthday, maybe there is some merit to that break the mirror idea, LOL.) I played the tortured mixed-blood when I was an undergrad too. I read too much Wendy Rose, slept with my copy of the Death of Jim Loney, and made pretentious, political pieces of art. I wasted too much of my life. Here’s to hoping you don’t waste a lot of yours. Last edited by OLChemist; 10-24-2014 at 06:50 PM.. |
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#14 |
Granny:)
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![]() *Kalilsha* ![]() If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving u When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be u an me.. |
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#15 | |
Pow Wow Visitor
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#16 | |
Pow Wow Visitor
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We don't cringe, we laugh, we hug and laugh again. All at your expense. Wanjica Infinity No One
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Wanjica Infinity No One |
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#17 | |
Pow Wow Committee
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LOL
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When you are dead you don't know that you are dead. It is difficult only for the others. It is the same when you are stupid. "Show me somethin" |
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#18 |
Powwow Dude
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3... 2... 1...
And we lost another one Dang it One of the most annoying lumping and mishmash of words is Native American Ugh as if one culture and we hugged trees
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ᎠᏂᎩᏚᏩᎩ - Anigiduwagi Till I Die! |
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#19 |
Pow Wow Committee
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The only thing I was cringing over was your rambling, stream of consciousness post. I hope the reference to student on your profile means you're a high school or middle school student. Because if you're a university student and this is demonstration of your ability to compose a coherent paragraph and construct a cogent argument, well....
The first rule of debate: He who loses his temper loses. You picked the wrong target. I'm usually the one trying to explain each culture to the other. "That was a long time ago." "I wasn't there." "Get over it." "Your community has bigger problems." "You don't like it when I group all of X-people together." Ahh, the howl of white privilege when confronted with the reality that for one group to be disadvantaged, another must be advantaged. In this time and place that advantaged group is white people. They have the prerogative of declaring their experience as normative and universal. They have the power to demand immunity from the past and expect that the structural inequalities in this society be overlooked. They have the wherewithal to declare that they have done enough to address institutional and personal racism and that the battle is over. Kiddo, taking your story at face value, you claim to want to experience Native life. Welcome to the experience of your darker kin. They don't have the opportunity to play chameleon and escape the positive and negative stereotypes attached to their phenotype (like your projecting the romanticized, nobel savage on to their lives). They don't have the option of not being judged as an "Indian" rather than an individual, as you aptly demonstrated in your posts. White people don't enjoy being disliked just on the basis of appearance, it is a novel, unpleasant experience. My dark-skinned cousins learned that would be their lot when they were children at a drug-store lunch counter. Maybe you could try looking through their eyes and seeing how there might be some resentment. Maybe you could try holding your tongue and understanding. Perhaps you could then address some of the ongoing issues in the dominant culture, rather than demanding that we conform our response to your norms. It takes both sides working at it. Maybe then the racism could really fade into the past. |
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#20 | |
Powwow Dude
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Too bad they fall on deaf ears or in our internet case, deaf Eyes and a closed mind. Preconceived notions of how the world will be is a recipe for disappointment. Once again we do not live up to the high ideals and moral standards that are gleaned from Hollywood teachings. Where the noble savage fights for the land and drips tears when it is trashed (He was Italian BTW) Where the Medicine Man wears a Dead Bird on his head (He is not Ndn maybe French? LoL) Where we welcome strangers into our home, feed them then give them presents of blankets and notions. (Umm yeah read about the real Thanksgiving and see how that turned out) No those were a very long time ago after Disease and Heartache, and years of benign neglect. Until it became fashionable to be Native and whew let me say I have met literally THOUSANDS upon THOUSANDS that have the same story. GREAT GREAT Granma hid out or was adopted or something and now I am trying to reconnect (What happened to Great Great Grandpa I Wonder?????) So yes Its human nature to at first have doubts... Here is the crossroads to this: One small path the person listens and takes your advice and reconnects by actually visiting IN PERSON the community they are trying to reconnect with. (I know its radical!!) The other more traveled path the person says "all you people suck" and we never hear from them again oh and they threaten to DELETE their account! (Um yeah it can't be deleted just goes inactive by not logging on or I ban you for life and the account is still there you just cant log on...)
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ᎠᏂᎩᏚᏩᎩ - Anigiduwagi Till I Die! Last edited by Josiah; 10-25-2014 at 03:46 PM.. |
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