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Old 05-02-2003, 02:01 PM   #1
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unfit jingle dress

my daughter cheyenne was jingle dancing for awhile, someone hurt her feelings really bad at a powwow and she never felt the same about dancing. An elder yanked her out of the arena and took her off to the side and told her that she and her family were disrespecting the dance and that her dress was a slap in the face to all who dance the style. well thats a pretty big thing to put on a young girl. I was sooooo angry, but instead of causing a huge deal we just left the powwow. her dress was a beautiful pink and purple with a simple design. the elder told her that pink and purple were not proper colors for a jingle dress. but the best part of the dress was that a friend of mine and both our families together made the dress of a few months time, always getting together, sweating, making a good meal, it was such a good time and it felt right. everyone in the family helped with the dress, her brothers and little sis, her dad even helped sew some jingles on. she felt that dress was the most special thing she had. She never disprespected it or let become tossed aside so that she oculd run and play at the powwows.
She felt good when she danced, but since that time she stopped and she changed her style and she came out as a fancy shawl dancer.

I wish people could see what happens in the aftermath of such cruel comments
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Old 05-02-2003, 03:56 PM   #2
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Ugggghhhh!

Stuff like that makes me so mad! I hope that lady never goes to a big powwow and sees all the "non-traditional" colors of jingle dresses. When I started back up as a jingle dress dancer (about 8 yrs ago) I had someone criticize my dress b-cuz the jingle weren't sewn on in the traditional straight rows but in a zig-zag pattern. I was only about 13 and for awhile after that I didn't want to wear that jingle dress either. Just tell your daughter that there is always going to be the "expert elder" out there to criticize. That woman should have been proud of your daughter for carrying on the jingle dress, instead of reprimanding her for the style of the dress.
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Old 05-02-2003, 04:01 PM   #3
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That's too bad that had happened.

That elder had no right to pull your daughter aside and said that to her. Do you know who this elder is?

The only person that could tell anyone that the jingle dress isn't right for them is a woman elder carrying a stick for jingle dress dancers.

I have never heard of pink and purple not being proper colors. If those were the colors meant for that dress, that's what it's suppose to be. Pink and purple are colors on our earth and they can be used. Purple is a healing color.

Your daughter should dream on it to see if that is her real calling and try to return to jingle dress dancing.

You shouldn't let one person's opinion ruin something that's meant to be special.
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Old 05-02-2003, 04:05 PM   #4
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By the way, one of my dress' is purple and pink. And I have never had anyone come to me about it being the wrong color.
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Old 05-02-2003, 04:46 PM   #5
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I woulda been like, "Put down the crack pipe lady, its gonna be okay..."

:devil

No but seriously, If ya think your all mighty mizz know it all, make your own dern dress and show us all how its done, till then, people need to shutuppa theyre face. She shouldnt have given it up, if anything she should show that lady the ol "sticks and stones" and kept right on dancing.

Like Creator is sitten in the sky world all "Oh my gaw Becky, look at her dress! Its all purple and pink! Gah!".

Creator dont care what your wearing just as long as your dancing.

Creator dont care what you are, just as long as you sing.

Limiting our peoples color use is white man stuff. Theres no one on this earth who can tell us whats right and wrong about pow wow, because pow wow isnt even pow wow anymore if you really think about it.

So until Creator comes down and tells your daughter that she shouldnt use those colors, you should encourage her to get back out there, cuz I bet she dances with her heart and not for the money, the RIGHT way.
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Old 05-02-2003, 05:01 PM   #6
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The nerve! And yeah it's true what Maji said the elder women carrying the stick are who you have to listen to! A main reason why I can't wait to get back into fancy shawl dancing is so I won't have to feel like I'm being criticized by everyone about my jingle dresses and my style of dancing; especially at traditional powwows around here. Sometimes I feel weird out there in my dresses because I worry about what other people think and nobody has approached me well maybe once but it wasn't to get after me...usually I get compliments. But if someone came up telling me I was a disgrace and whatnot I'd probably cry! My dresses, around here anyways are seen as contemporary. But once I get to contests I'm blown away by the intricate designs and flashiness of some dresses; and I think they look good as does the oldstyle ones. I just think that sometimes people have to find something to get bent out of shape about and go from there. If anyone comes up to me to say something about my dresses and style they better have a stick in their hands! Tell your daughter to get back out there and maybe you should approach the elderly lady w/ some tobacco and say "Next time you want to pass advice on to my daughter do it through me! Because it got to the point where she doesn't even want to dance anymore and we shouldn't be discouraging our youth from dancing if we want to keep our culture alive!"
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Old 05-02-2003, 05:39 PM   #7
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Right on W.W.! i agree!

and PWC49 - LOL! you make me laugh!
"until Creator comes down..."
Darn right!
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Old 05-02-2003, 05:51 PM   #8
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The poor girl! I feel bad for her, as that was not in the womans place to say so, in my humble opinion I mean after all, if you are such an elder, and talk to a young child like that, how can anyone respect their word? Good lord! :Yell Tell her to keep dancing if she likes, and if it is in her soul and heart, it should not matter to anyone. After all, "who are they to be judge, jury and executioner?":P
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Old 05-02-2003, 06:52 PM   #9
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ok.. here is my .02 cents.

When i was learning how to be a jingle dancer and when my elder taught me how to dance and the origin of the dress, she never told me anything about colors not being traditional. My first dress was blue and had rainbow color ribbon, and my second dress was purple. now the dress that i am making is black red, yellow and white, the colors of the medicine wheel. and all of my dresses no one evern said a word about it to me for it not being traditional. Actually the elder that toaught me was saying that since the competition is getting bigger that it is more flashy to have your jingles in different row shapes, like the zig zags.

I think that they had NO right to pull your daughter aside to talk to her... How old was she? I would have been totally humiliated just like she was... Ther are some really ignorant people out there... Maybe that elder was jealous!

Kelli
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Old 05-02-2003, 08:13 PM   #10
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shame!

Thats too bad there are evil people like that. everybody has their own style of dancing and their own style of dresses! If that grouch didnt like it than she should have kept it to herself or talk to the parent not the child. tell her not to let what anybody says bother her and too keep dancing how she wants and wearing what she wants! :24:
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Old 05-02-2003, 08:59 PM   #11
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Your all wrong. I would have took off my dress and asked the old lady to step outside
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Old 05-02-2003, 09:00 PM   #12
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thanks everyone

Thanks for making Cheyenne and me feel better. I wish I could have said something to that elder then, but it would have just caused too many problems for other people that I care about too.

I think that you guys are right, she just has some major issues she needs to deal with, maybe someone did something like that to her when she was young.

But as a mom, you try to protect your kids from stuff, i felt blindsided by that one
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Old 05-02-2003, 09:36 PM   #13
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Hey WW, I think that person had a stick....................an ugly stick that she got thumped too many times with.:)
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Old 05-02-2003, 11:19 PM   #14
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Sorry to hear about the what the witchy ol lady did! So, what powwow were u at?
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Old 05-03-2003, 12:15 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kiwehnzii
Hey WW, I think that person had a stick....................an ugly stick that she got thumped too many times with.:)
:Chatter :Chatter :Chatter hehehehe too funny!


I agree with WW. Sometimes folks don't think before they speak... personally if I was the woman, I would be really ashamed of and for my behavior. Please tell your daughter to keep kicking those jingles. There are some harsh folks out there... don't let em keep you from what you need to or are meant to do. ;)

PWC girl you are crazy!!!!:Chatter :Chatter :Chatter :p Shuttupa you face? LMAO daaaang it's been a good minute since I heard that! hahahahaha
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Old 05-03-2003, 01:21 AM   #16
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Ohmigoodness... I would've had to CUT my daayum tongue off & made myself sit in the corner (ala Jim Carrey style lol) if somebody, anybody (without the almighty stick of course) would have came up to my precious baby girl and tried to school her, if she wasn't blatantly doing anything wrong. There'd be some hell raising up in there for sure! But then again... gotta respect the elders no matter what huh? Just bite the tongue and take it, and let my girly know who to listen to next time.
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Old 05-03-2003, 01:39 AM   #17
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I see some good points on this thread, but if an elder did that to my baby girl, I would probably have said something to the elder. I mean, not flip out or anything, but say that it absolutely unacceptable to say that to a child. There are proper ways of teaching our young ones, and teaching through humiliation is not an indigenous way, its a white way. Age does not make you a respected elder. Knowledge, living your life respectfully and treating others with the same kindness and respect, all the while maintaining traditional teachings is what makes an elder. When its balancing respecting an elder and sticking up for my child, there is no comparison. An elder should know better, but if you dont stick up for your child, then who will ? Thats the most important job the Creator could ever give you.

R.
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Old 05-03-2003, 01:40 AM   #18
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BTW, pwchic, you crack me up!! Thanks for the laff, girl!

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Old 05-03-2003, 02:55 AM   #19
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Yeh you hit it dead on R... especially the "if you dont' stick up for your child, then who will?" part, that's my point as well. To add another point, I think pink and purple ARE natural colors, those shine beautifully during a sunset.

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Old 05-05-2003, 05:18 PM   #20
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LOL @ Ugly Stick
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