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-   -   Why are some dancers so bitter? (http://forums.powwows.com/f12/why-some-dancers-so-bitter-1303/)

creejingledress 12-04-2001 05:50 PM

Why are some dancers so bitter?
 
:confused: I've been dancing for a long time and i noticed something......a lot of women dancers are so competitve and some go beyond that into just being plain rude. I've been through all kinds of weird behavior from other dancers. Some are real nice to me one weekend and then totally snub me the next. Some seem like they don't like me then are all nice. Its kinda confusing. Anyone know what i mean?. An example, i used to be friends with a well known dancer...i grew up admiring her and her style. Then when i started dancing in womens and placing a lot, that changed pretty quick. She outright gave me the cold shoulder(bbbrrrr!). Now she just glares when she sees me. It kinda hurt because i thought she was someone respectable and beyond that sort of thing.But i guess not.How are the younger generation supposed to learn to respect and honour when there are those who choose to bully them. I also feel bad sometimes for thinking that ...cause all native teachings say to respect people older than you, but what happens when they don't respect you. Its disappointing. But don't get me wrong, I know not all dancers are like that and there are some pretty awesome people out there:clap: Any opinions?

Roobz 12-04-2001 06:23 PM

Yeah I know what you mean creejingledress, I have experienced that type of behavior as well from other dancers, the being all sweet one weekend and a total b*tch the next. It has made me kind of leary of fellow dancers now, I'm very quiet and I stick to myself at powwows (which is sad because I'd like to be the friendly person that I am to everyone else outside of powwows). Many of the ladies in my category are nice for the most part, and there are a few well knowns who don't even give me the time of day. It doesn't bother me because they choose to be that way and act that shallow(if I'm allowed to say so). The way I look at it is: they're just missing out alot on meeting some great new people because they can't get past their ego. But then again, that's ALL some dancers do and therefore must take it seriously. Some will go as far as to try to snag your man away or some other petty stuff like that, I mean what will that accomplish, what kind of examples are we setting for the children? For me, to respect a dancer and like their style of dancing are 2 different things. Go figure!

PowwowBabe 12-04-2001 09:27 PM

Well said Niimii!!! I totally agree with you!!!

just hangin' 12-04-2001 10:58 PM

Hear hear !
But doesn't it feel good though to beat someone who has a snobby attitude and has ignored you all weekend? He he he good for them - they shouldn't be so immature anywayz...:6:

Riverwoman 12-05-2001 05:28 PM

*IMHO* Sounds like those peepz are displaying a few things: jealousy, insecurity, and bad manners!

Also to win "votes" "money" or anything else to make them look better, some people will do anything! Just have to remember to dance for the reasons you do, and have faith that things will work themselves out in the end, remember what ever goes around, comes around!

dad 12-07-2001 12:23 PM

it's like you guys said, they know you when no other dancer are there. and total turn around when some other well known dancers are there. as for myself it sad because i keep to myself and talk whenever somebody talks to me. that when they say i'am so arrigant. i guess thats the way they see me. as for respect i don't think nobody really know how to repect each other when it comes right down to it.:( :chief:

hidatsachic24 12-10-2001 10:43 AM

i know exactly what ya mean...had the same probs when i danced at toledo powwow...
i was dancin jingle and found another jingle dancer who was alot younger...anyways she like totally
snubbed me off when i was tryin to talk to her...the only thing i could think of is what a b****
well she didnt stay with jingle only at grand entry...she switched to fancy shawl...some dancers think that they are all that so i pretty much ignore them..when it comes to powwows people should be less
upitty and more positive attitude...by the way thats a good topic do you think women/young ladies should switch from fancy shawl to jingle at the same powwow or do you think they should stay with one style?-

Singing Otter 12-10-2001 06:16 PM

I think that there's a difference between quiet/shy and snotty. I tend to stay away from the superficial types. They tend to start speaking if they see you chewing the fat with a "name brand". Me? I prefer to talk to a person because of who they are not because of what their name is or who they know. That's tacky. AAaaaggghhhh!!! Besides that, I hell-hate cliques. :)

MyoStylez 12-10-2001 10:34 PM

travellin jingler
 
:confused: I hear you ladies, I got snubbed at a couple powwows too before, none of the girls ever seen me or heard of me until i placed they were all wanting to get to know me and wanted to be my friend after a whole weekend of competive glaring and stuckupness. It was also like that for my lil sister who is in the jr girls category,she had a hard time making friends with some of the little girls in her category and my sister is a really nice person. It just really sucks that you travel so far to meet new people and make new friends and you get treated like that.
Sometimes though i find that theres alot of dancers who are the shy type, so i can't really judge a dancer until you really get to know them.Because I have a cousin and he's a real awesome dancer,but he's just so totally shy. And then again you get the real stuckup snobby dancers, so its hard to determine whether or not there either ..snobby or shy?:confused:
Honestly i admire all those awesome dancers with awesome beadwork and designs, I look up to them espeicially the ones who have been in the circuit for so long...it's funny cause sometimes i just want to go up to that dancer and ask all kinds of questions like, How long did it take to make your outfit?, Who did your beadwork? Do you practice dancing all the time? Where do you learn your awesome moves girl?LOL ..stuff like that ,but then I don't wanna freak anyone out ...holleeeee...:Thinking :Thumbs ...anyways thanx 4 hearing me out...:Heart :Chatter

jingler4life*

pwp27 12-10-2001 10:52 PM

bitter experiences
 
:( I have experienced this bitterness too. It is sad that in an environment where peopel are supposed to be coming together and enjoying themselves can be that way but thats life i suppose. I have experienced a group of girls who had not really paid much attention to me and were some times flat out rude to me until they realized i was friends with a boy that they liked. All of the sudden their attitudes changed, but i was able to see through them. I too, am pretty quiet and keep to myself unless someone approaches me or i know someone fairly well. I have had people talk to me at one pow wow and have fun the entire weekend and then the next time we see one another it as if we were total strangers. And then a few pow wows down the road i suddenly exist again. It can sometimes be like a high school drama. I have noticed the bitterness of ladies against one another in competition as well. In my opinion it should all just be a good time to enjoy each other and have fun. There is no need for all of the bitterness.

Pawnee Scout 12-11-2001 01:52 PM

What a topic. I've seen this same behavior pattern and have experienced it too. My experience was I was just in a round dance line next to the buckskin ladies, and this one lady in her buckskin dress just pushes me to the side so that she can get next to the other lady in front of me...not even courteous about the situation or any thing...AND THIS WAS A GROWN WOMAN! Is this type of behavior just a female thing or is it a guy thing too? What is sad about these kinds of girls is that they don't realize that their behavior and attitutde reflects their upbringing. Maybe it's jealousy, envy, insecurity and most of all self-esteem. I'm sorry, some of these girls w/that kind of attitude maybe winners at pow-wows, but they are complete losers when it comes to being real!:)

tigger 12-11-2001 05:18 PM

i have seen guys do this also, so no it's not just a ladies thing.


keith

Smokin' Ace 12-11-2001 06:48 PM

Soooo....basically, what you are all saying....is that snobbiness knows not a certain dance style or gender - anyone can be a snob - and remember, these people are making a choice to not talk to you - which is their loss.

Alot of times at pow-wows, I don't get a chance to really talk to people like I would like to - either I am chasing my son, trying to get around my daughter's pre-teen crisis of the moment ;), getting something to drink or eat, singing, or just trying to get a quiet moment when not doing those things. But I do try to catch people's eye and smile, if nothing else. :)

Hey smiling is contagious - if these people are such snobs, maybe they just need to be smiled at too. :):):)

I know - good try, Ace. Ya just never know.

Better yet, kick their *** if they don't talk to you from now on - tell them Ace sent you. ;)

MyoStylez 12-12-2001 02:26 AM

That's what I was going to say ...just smile at them....but then they might get the wrong idea or something like that....then what?
:)Well now I have a few real powwow friends, so things are not to bad, but its still goin on when you go to way bigger powwows.
Yeah I also find that the girls become your friend when they know who you all know like I have good lookin cousins, then all those other girls that never talked to me before become my friend...:mad: how sad is that.
*I also did hear this one mens fancy dancer saying that ,he has friends until they get out on the dance floor ,its like war, no one talks to one another*.....woah!
How bad is that ...well I guess everything is good just as long as no other dancer comes out with a stick and hits our ankles so that we can't dance, now that would be just craziness,...lol...jk
Competition is competition....be nice...more sportsmanship needed...and in some cases we need that fairness.:(

NativePride4life*:Angel2

Ayita16 12-12-2001 10:51 AM

Ok i am from GA and i am mixed my mom is native my dad is white. WE have a lot of wannabes with all these wacked out outfits (i can't even call them regailas) and they are doing all this weird stuff so i try to teach them the right way then they get all offensive. Also i have met a lot of girls who have been in my catergory who just dance for tha money and don't care about tradtion at all. For example we were at the American Indian Festival Powwow in May and there was this woman and her two daughters with these awesome regailas and i was like wow they are good dancers. They were talking during the honor song and almost walked out of the arena during it too. They had no respect for anything , and i went up and said "hey how are you, my name is Allison" they just gave me tha nastiest look and walked off.

native pride till i die

DeNeBaBe 11-16-2004 03:51 AM

eesh!
 
I Dont Compete, But Maybe U Shouldnt And Ppl Will Be Nice To You :) Lol. ;) Ppl Are Way Nicer On The Tradishional Trail - Snobby Comp Dancers Anyways!

lovlie1 11-16-2004 09:18 AM

Very Good Topic!
 
I have noticed that not only in the gategory that I dance but in all of them as well. When I first started dancing 15yrs ago people always spoke and introduced themselves. Then always after the powwow even if it was not a tradish one all the natives would still get together and hang out or 49. Now that is almost unheard of. I have experinced alot of that down here in the Southeast that is y I started that other thread about powwows in the SE region. just talking about how people treat others. And how some try to out ndn others! I have been standing in lineup for grand entyr many of times and said hi to those standing around me and they just give me a crazy look. And you guys r right after experiencing that a few times it kind of makes you standoffish. But I still try to be nice because that is the way I would like people to be, and I always say hello to others.


I would never snubb any of u guys off! :huddle:

KeetersCAT 11-16-2004 10:18 AM

Because they've forgotten to be greatful that they are able to dance.

ojibwaywmn 11-16-2004 12:03 PM

Like Everyone else....
 
I have seen and experienced this as well. I am new to the pow wow circuit in the woman's Jingle Dress category. I like to go out and give 'er during intertribals, plus TRY to get to know other dancers. But there are some hard nuts to crack out there which can be discouraging. I complimented one well-known jingle dress dancer on her awesome beadwork, and was given the cold shoulder. That's fine, I am not out there to be Miss Popularity. I am out there because dancing makes me feel good. And that is what makes me continually participate in pow wows. I find that spectators are more friendly than some dancers...lol. Go figure.

sookout sh'nob 11-16-2004 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeNeBaBe
I Dont Compete, But Maybe U Shouldnt And Ppl Will Be Nice To You :) Lol. ;) Ppl Are Way Nicer On The Tradishional Trail - Snobby Comp Dancers Anyways!

This is true, but there are plenty of traditional people (and elders) just waiting to catch someone doing somthing forbidden, or god forbid, different.

That said, for a long time while at college , i danced with this group of guys down there in Minneapolis. We talked a lot and all got along pretty good as aquaintances, you know, chewin' the fat and watchin people's feet...that sorta thing.

LAter on, I went to a few powwows where I didn't dance and on one said a word to me. I'd wave and say hello...nothing - no response. My sweethear thought those guys were bein snobby at me, but i wasn't so sure. So one day, I go up and talk to this guy. He looks real confsued at first and then starts to get less confused and smiles.

That old guy there, he looks a look at me and then says "You know, I didn't even recognize you out of your Indian clothes."
After that he took me around and reintroduced me to the rest of our group. Good times on the trail.... ;)

Heheheheheh:D


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