Register Groups Members List Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Forum Home - Go Back > General > Native Life > Native Issues Pregnant Teenagers! Pregnant Teenagers!

Reply LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 11-02-2006, 02:24 PM   #1
Happy Woman!
 
Foxmoon's Avatar
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
Foxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond repute
Foxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: MD
Posts: 4,553
Blog Entries: 1
Credits: 0.00
Savings: 1.00
Pregnant Teenagers!

__________________
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Foxmoon is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-02-2006, 02:31 PM   #2
Happy Woman!
 
Foxmoon's Avatar
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
Foxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond repute
Foxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: MD
Posts: 4,553
Blog Entries: 1
Credits: 0.00
Savings: 1.00
Hit the wrong Button

Is this a national problem or what? You can teach them values and morals and that doesn't mean crap! The justice system has made it legal for a 16 year old to consent to having sex with a 26 year old and there aint nothing us parents can do! The worst thing is you as a parent are responsable for your child and the unborn baby until your child turns 18 years old or they get married. I have a huge problem with this and with my 17year old daughter right now. She was a virgin until 2 1/2 months ago and did not use protection. Stupid much!!!!! I just found out 2 days ago I need some friends to help calm me down and to think rationally if thats possible !!!!!
Thanks so much
__________________
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Foxmoon is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-02-2006, 03:07 PM   #3
Kimimila
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
DaCotau has a reputation beyond reputeDaCotau has a reputation beyond reputeDaCotau has a reputation beyond reputeDaCotau has a reputation beyond reputeDaCotau has a reputation beyond reputeDaCotau has a reputation beyond reputeDaCotau has a reputation beyond reputeDaCotau has a reputation beyond reputeDaCotau has a reputation beyond reputeDaCotau has a reputation beyond reputeDaCotau has a reputation beyond reputeDaCotau has a reputation beyond reputeDaCotau has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: NYC
Posts: 179
Credits: 613.44
Savings: 0.00
I worked in a program for teen Moms for three years. It is true that these girls faced many challenges but I also witnessed many success stories so remember that all is not necessarily lost with the birth of a child in one's teen years. One of the major determining factors in a teen parent's success is the support they get from their family. As difficult as it may be for you at first it is extremely important to be a support to your daughter. If she loses you she will turn for help to others who may not love or care for her or her child and this could snow ball into a real tragedy. Obviously by your description your daughter made a mistake in judgement that has now resulted in a major life changing situation. Life changing for her and her family. I have also had family members become mothers as teens and I know the first reaction of parents is typically to be very very disappointed. Some of my family members were became very rersponsible mothers despite their age, and some just could not handle it and the babies ended up being raised by others. To get some perspective though the issue of teen pregnancy has only become an issue per se within the last 100 years. Before then becomming a wife and mother before the age of 20 was typical. My grandmother was married at 14 and had her first child at 15 (this was in 1935!).
__________________
"No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible"
"You cannot give the people who have wronged you so much power that they take away your dreams"
DaCotau is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-02-2006, 03:15 PM   #4
Peace n Mutton Grease
 
Nezbah's Avatar
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
Nezbah has a reputation beyond repute
Nezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Ober here in NM
Posts: 946
Credits: 511.00
Savings: 1.00
Quote:
Originally Posted by Foxmoon
Is this a national problem or what? You can teach them values and morals and that doesn't mean crap! The justice system has made it legal for a 16 year old to consent to having sex with a 26 year old and there aint nothing us parents can do! The worst thing is you as a parent are responsable for your child and the unborn baby until your child turns 18 years old or they get married. I have a huge problem with this and with my 17year old daughter right now. She was a virgin until 2 1/2 months ago and did not use protection. Stupid much!!!!! I just found out 2 days ago I need some friends to help calm me down and to think rationally if thats possible !!!!!
Thanks so much

Ohhhh I hear ya on that one, Foxmoon. Don't worry you have a right to feel the way you do. Unfortunately there are many kids out there who are making these choices without really thinking them through. I myself have been consistantly talking to my son about choices, where as, everything he does he has to make that choice. Even though he is young, I try to instill the fact that if he makes a bad choice, there are consequences. And if he makes the good choice, the more respect he'll gain, which has more value than anything in the world.

Now, the one thing that I have found with young women these days, is the ole, taking care of a baby thing. With a baby doll, have your daughter, care for it, wake up every waking hour during the night to feed it, tend to it when it cries, change its diaper, etc. etc. Help her feel the responsiblity of 'motherhood', even giving her 'money' (fake money is good) to teach her about the financial responsibilty of motherhood as well. Give her about a week to feel what this responsiblity is about, I bet you anything she will think twice about the consequences of unprotected sex. Another good way is to take her to the AIDS clinic or even meet others with AIDS, let them tell her about their stories or even just read about it online. Having cared for AIDS patients in the past, really helped me teach about unprotected sex, including drinking and partying, what bad decisions may lead too. One of my best friends passed on from AIDS and the one thing that stuck in my mind was that when I was at his bedside for the last few days, he just looked at me and said, If I didn't have to have all those drinks, i'd still be alive, I wouldn't be planning my own funeral now.

I am sure you're a good mom and have done everything you can do to protect your own. However, don't sit there and blame yourself, be strong, and understanding. Listen and encourage your daughter to be strong too. If you need to, take her to the local planned parenthood, let a health professional help her too. I know, I would feel the same way if my son did something like this, who knows, he might, but love, understanding, and positive reinforcement is going to help in the long run. You've done the right thing and that was ask for help. Well if you need help, just pm me. All of us mothers are behind ya, I know we have either experienced this ourselves or will in some time.........
__________________
You have crossed my path, You will never be forgotten......


EMAIL ME for GON 2014 Special Hotel, Air, and Car Rates...limited availability. Powwow special rates across the US and Canada. I also offer great vacation, business, and specialty fares to every destination in the world! Email for the rates
[email protected]
Nezbah is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-02-2006, 03:43 PM   #5
3 down and 1 to go! lol
 
Chevy_truckin_NDN's Avatar
 
Items SwordPresentPresent
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
Chevy_truckin_NDN has a reputation beyond reputeChevy_truckin_NDN has a reputation beyond reputeChevy_truckin_NDN has a reputation beyond repute
Chevy_truckin_NDN has a reputation beyond reputeChevy_truckin_NDN has a reputation beyond reputeChevy_truckin_NDN has a reputation beyond reputeChevy_truckin_NDN has a reputation beyond reputeChevy_truckin_NDN has a reputation beyond reputeChevy_truckin_NDN has a reputation beyond reputeChevy_truckin_NDN has a reputation beyond reputeChevy_truckin_NDN has a reputation beyond reputeChevy_truckin_NDN has a reputation beyond reputeChevy_truckin_NDN has a reputation beyond reputeChevy_truckin_NDN has a reputation beyond reputeChevy_truckin_NDN has a reputation beyond reputeChevy_truckin_NDN has a reputation beyond reputeChevy_truckin_NDN has a reputation beyond reputeChevy_truckin_NDN has a reputation beyond reputeChevy_truckin_NDN has a reputation beyond reputeChevy_truckin_NDN has a reputation beyond reputeChevy_truckin_NDN has a reputation beyond reputeChevy_truckin_NDN has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Indian Country Oklahoma
Posts: 14,399
Blog Entries: 6
Credits: 9,926.62
Savings: 1.00
I'm sorry to hear that you are upset, I would be too, to hear that your daughter has decided to join the rest of us women in being a more responsible human being. You just need awhile to adjust and accept something that you cannot change.

And you know those value and morals that we teach our kids? They don't just go out the window when they get knocked up. I'm sure your daughter herself is ashamed about what has happened. But the good thing is, that in the future whether she has a boy or a girl she will be passing along those values and morals.

If you need to get it out, expound here about it, and at the same time, count to 10, because whether you like it or not, this kid is having a kid and you need to be there to make sure that she has a healthy baby and that the father helps whether is just emotionally or financially or both! which is a bonus. Okay, I'm outta here. Good luck, and keep your chin up being a GRANDPARENT sounds great! (I can't wait to get there myself, just not within the next 2 decades....LMAO)
__________________
This is how I dance when your standing next to me...

"Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Dogs of War..."
Chevy_truckin_NDN is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-02-2006, 04:04 PM   #6
Fancy Schmancy Dancer
 
MissFancyChick's Avatar
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
MissFancyChick is a glorious beacon of light
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: formerly in Seattle, now i live in Eastern Washington on the Colville Rez
Posts: 220
Credits: 250.00
Savings: 0.00
I wasnt sure, but did you say your daughter is pregnant? or just active?

well i work in an alternative hs and i know quite a few teen mothers. all i can say is offer support... love and understanding. sit and watch what you have taught her. she probably knows more than you think she does... especially if she is around kids/babies a lot.

if she is just active... SCARE HER!! show her the worst case scenarios... std's are soooo gross and easy to catch... especially in small towns. you cant stop her, but just get in her mind... she WILL think before she has unprotected sex again. thats all you can do... give her condoms, get her on a birth control method... and in a few months get her tested just in case...

good luck!!
__________________
Love the Dance...
Feel the Drum
MissFancyChick is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-02-2006, 05:47 PM   #7
were home
 
2lineCarrandMorgan's Avatar
 
Items GuitarElephantPresentPresent
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: TX,Austin
Posts: 7,293
Blog Entries: 1
Credits: 30,091.23
Savings: 1.00
2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute
2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute2lineCarrandMorgan has a reputation beyond repute
hello foxmoon,
im here for you if you need to talk

,my daughteris a teenage mother twice the first time her dad put her in a materney home and the home would home school and help her learn how to mother her son untill he was two, but she ran awaywith her child and babys father when he was 3 mo old, she was on the missing and endanger list for more than a year. i did not know where she was untill last march she called wanted to come home{ she was living deep in mexico I took a bus alone to get them and bring them back to texas} and she now has a 4 mo old and a 2 year old and yes we are responsitable for her and the babies, currintly she live with her dad but day care two blockes from my house and in my case I do most of the work getting everyone where thier supposed to be .
i love my daughter and my grand kids . and now i realy dont have any plane but for them for the next 4 or 5 years i get upset sometimes and need to talk i have my mom and my older daughter who will help deal with things.
but becouse teenageers haveing babies is rampent event junior high there is lots of help out there ie: wick , child care
and classes on child care
if we can do it any one can.
but in your post, you did not say if she is with child ...
i hope you the very best and even thought it might inconvice you now, the life a child bringes is amazion and the child is part of you!
to see my daughter you can go to myspace.com [email protected] and {search by email}. then when you get to my page, jocelyn is on my friends list and click on her pic then see her profile and on the pic you will see my grandkids if you want.
so any way everyone has a life to live. oh as im typing this My GrandDaughter Grace is sitting with me, and she is so sweet.
__________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass..It's about learning to dance in the rain. for me and the wolf

Last edited by 2lineCarrandMorgan; 11-02-2006 at 05:58 PM..
2lineCarrandMorgan is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-02-2006, 05:55 PM   #8
Senior Dancer
 
SuzzeQ4's Avatar
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
SuzzeQ4 has a reputation beyond reputeSuzzeQ4 has a reputation beyond reputeSuzzeQ4 has a reputation beyond reputeSuzzeQ4 has a reputation beyond repute
SuzzeQ4 has a reputation beyond reputeSuzzeQ4 has a reputation beyond reputeSuzzeQ4 has a reputation beyond reputeSuzzeQ4 has a reputation beyond reputeSuzzeQ4 has a reputation beyond reputeSuzzeQ4 has a reputation beyond reputeSuzzeQ4 has a reputation beyond reputeSuzzeQ4 has a reputation beyond reputeSuzzeQ4 has a reputation beyond reputeSuzzeQ4 has a reputation beyond reputeSuzzeQ4 has a reputation beyond reputeSuzzeQ4 has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: next door to Timmies...Jealous?
Posts: 1,489
Credits: 120.00
Savings: 0.00
Well of course your angry & scared, however your daughter probably is too. Venting here is probably a good idea. However, she does need your support in order to grew in to a good responsible. i have worked as a doula, lactation consultant & childbirth educator. i have seen good Moms of all ages & bad moms of all ages.
Support & love will help your daughter support & love her baby. Helping her take responsibility with joy instead of trying to prove to her how much there is will help her take the responsibility with joy.
Offering help in order for her body to properly heal in the first 6 weeks will help her avoid PPD.
I was a young mother (21) thought I was so mature at the time...lol I did pretty well at first & then I fell a bit searcing for a social life. however I got back on track when I made friends with other Women instead of girls. I have seen this be a common pitfall.
Hope all works out well.
P.S. Hope she is planning on finnishing school. Good Luck
SuzzeQ4 is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-03-2006, 01:23 AM   #9
Happy Woman!
 
Foxmoon's Avatar
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
Foxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond repute
Foxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: MD
Posts: 4,553
Blog Entries: 1
Credits: 0.00
Savings: 1.00
Thank you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaCotau
I worked in a program for teen Moms for three years. It is true that these girls faced many challenges but I also witnessed many success stories so remember that all is not necessarily lost with the birth of a child in one's teen years. One of the major determining factors in a teen parent's success is the support they get from their family. As difficult as it may be for you at first it is extremely important to be a support to your daughter. If she loses you she will turn for help to others who may not love or care for her or her child and this could snow ball into a real tragedy. Obviously by your description your daughter made a mistake in judgement that has now resulted in a major life changing situation. Life changing for her and her family. I have also had family members become mothers as teens and I know the first reaction of parents is typically to be very very disappointed. Some of my family members were became very rersponsible mothers despite their age, and some just could not handle it and the babies ended up being raised by others. To get some perspective though the issue of teen pregnancy has only become an issue per se within the last 100 years. Before then becomming a wife and mother before the age of 20 was typical. My grandmother was married at 14 and had her first child at 15 (this was in 1935!).
You gave me very good information. I was a teen that got myself into a bad situation. I lost the baby though I was also 17 years old. But I was alot more muture then what my daughter is now. I also was on birth contorl at the time. I ended up pregnant with her at 19 and had her I was a single mom for 9 years. My mom was supportive with her but not my first. And now I have an 8 year old. I really dont want to be a grandma at 37 years old though. THank you for sharing all your valuable information.
__________________
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Foxmoon is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-03-2006, 01:32 AM   #10
Happy Woman!
 
Foxmoon's Avatar
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
Foxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond repute
Foxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: MD
Posts: 4,553
Blog Entries: 1
Credits: 0.00
Savings: 1.00
Thanks

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nezbah
Ohhhh I hear ya on that one, Foxmoon. Don't worry you have a right to feel the way you do. Unfortunately there are many kids out there who are making these choices without really thinking them through. I myself have been consistantly talking to my son about choices, where as, everything he does he has to make that choice. Even though he is young, I try to instill the fact that if he makes a bad choice, there are consequences. And if he makes the good choice, the more respect he'll gain, which has more value than anything in the world.

Now, the one thing that I have found with young women these days, is the ole, taking care of a baby thing. With a baby doll, have your daughter, care for it, wake up every waking hour during the night to feed it, tend to it when it cries, change its diaper, etc. etc. Help her feel the responsiblity of 'motherhood', even giving her 'money' (fake money is good) to teach her about the financial responsibilty of motherhood as well. Give her about a week to feel what this responsiblity is about, I bet you anything she will think twice about the consequences of unprotected sex. Another good way is to take her to the AIDS clinic or even meet others with AIDS, let them tell her about their stories or even just read about it online. Having cared for AIDS patients in the past, really helped me teach about unprotected sex, including drinking and partying, what bad decisions may lead too. One of my best friends passed on from AIDS and the one thing that stuck in my mind was that when I was at his bedside for the last few days, he just looked at me and said, If I didn't have to have all those drinks, i'd still be alive, I wouldn't be planning my own funeral now.

I am sure you're a good mom and have done everything you can do to protect your own. However, don't sit there and blame yourself, be strong, and understanding. Listen and encourage your daughter to be strong too. If you need to, take her to the local planned parenthood, let a health professional help her too. I know, I would feel the same way if my son did something like this, who knows, he might, but love, understanding, and positive reinforcement is going to help in the long run. You've done the right thing and that was ask for help. Well if you need help, just pm me. All of us mothers are behind ya, I know we have either experienced this ourselves or will in some time.........
She has had a parneting class with that baby and she didn't do so well. Thank you for reminding me not to blame myself that really hits me hard but I truely know that there was nothing more that I could of done differently. She has made some poor choices and all I can do is try to be there for her. I will also take your advice and go to an aids clinic for her to understand the importance of safe sex for the future.
Thanks so much I might take you up on the pm.
__________________
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Foxmoon is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-03-2006, 01:38 AM   #11
Happy Woman!
 
Foxmoon's Avatar
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
Foxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond repute
Foxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: MD
Posts: 4,553
Blog Entries: 1
Credits: 0.00
Savings: 1.00
Praying

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chevy_truckin_NDN
I'm sorry to hear that you are upset, I would be too, to hear that your daughter has decided to join the rest of us women in being a more responsible human being. You just need awhile to adjust and accept something that you cannot change.

And you know those value and morals that we teach our kids? They don't just go out the window when they get knocked up. I'm sure your daughter herself is ashamed about what has happened. But the good thing is, that in the future whether she has a boy or a girl she will be passing along those values and morals.

If you need to get it out, expound here about it, and at the same time, count to 10, because whether you like it or not, this kid is having a kid and you need to be there to make sure that she has a healthy baby and that the father helps whether is just emotionally or financially or both! which is a bonus. Okay, I'm outta here. Good luck, and keep your chin up being a GRANDPARENT sounds great! (I can't wait to get there myself, just not within the next 2 decades....LMAO)

I hope you are right about the morals and values sticking with her for future use. I will try to keep my chin up. Tomorrow we will be going to the dr.'s for the first time. Wish us well.
Thanks for your input it means alot.
__________________
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Foxmoon is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-03-2006, 01:42 AM   #12
Happy Woman!
 
Foxmoon's Avatar
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
Foxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond repute
Foxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: MD
Posts: 4,553
Blog Entries: 1
Credits: 0.00
Savings: 1.00
Pregnant

Quote:
Originally Posted by MissFancyChick
I wasnt sure, but did you say your daughter is pregnant? or just active?

well i work in an alternative hs and i know quite a few teen mothers. all i can say is offer support... love and understanding. sit and watch what you have taught her. she probably knows more than you think she does... especially if she is around kids/babies a lot.

if she is just active... SCARE HER!! show her the worst case scenarios... std's are soooo gross and easy to catch... especially in small towns. you cant stop her, but just get in her mind... she WILL think before she has unprotected sex again. thats all you can do... give her condoms, get her on a birth control method... and in a few months get her tested just in case...

good luck!!
She has taken 2 home tests but tomorrow we go to the dr's . I have not seen either test but she says they both came out positive. Thanks for the methods of scaring her. I will support her and will if she is not get her on birth contol and condoms!
Thanks
__________________
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Foxmoon is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-03-2006, 01:50 AM   #13
Happy Woman!
 
Foxmoon's Avatar
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
Foxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond repute
Foxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: MD
Posts: 4,553
Blog Entries: 1
Credits: 0.00
Savings: 1.00
She says she is!

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2lineCarrandMorgan
hello foxmoon,
im here for you if you need to talk

,my daughteris a teenage mother twice the first time her dad put her in a materney home and the home would home school and help her learn how to mother her son untill he was two, but she ran awaywith her child and babys father when he was 3 mo old, she was on the missing and endanger list for more than a year. i did not know where she was untill last march she called wanted to come home{ she was living deep in mexico I took a bus alone to get them and bring them back to texas} and she now has a 4 mo old and a 2 year old and yes we are responsitable for her and the babies, currintly she live with her dad but day care two blockes from my house and in my case I do most of the work getting everyone where thier supposed to be .
i love my daughter and my grand kids . and now i realy dont have any plane but for them for the next 4 or 5 years i get upset sometimes and need to talk i have my mom and my older daughter who will help deal with things.
but becouse teenageers haveing babies is rampent event junior high there is lots of help out there ie: wick , child care
and classes on child care
if we can do it any one can.
but in your post, you did not say if she is with child ...
i hope you the very best and even thought it might inconvice you now, the life a child bringes is amazion and the child is part of you!
to see my daughter you can go to myspace.com [email protected] and {search by email}. then when you get to my page, jocelyn is on my friends list and click on her pic then see her profile and on the pic you will see my grandkids if you want.
so any way everyone has a life to live. oh as im typing this My GrandDaughter Grace is sitting with me, and she is so sweet.
Thank you for the reminder of my responsability even though I don't want it right now you make it sound like it will be ok. I will take a look at your my space. We have a dr's appointment tomorrow and we will know for sure. I will make sure to support her so I don't go crazy and wander if she and the baby are ok. That must of been very scary for you! Thanks so much for sharing your personal story on this subject.
__________________
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Foxmoon is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-03-2006, 02:01 AM   #14
Happy Woman!
 
Foxmoon's Avatar
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
Foxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond repute
Foxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond reputeFoxmoon has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: MD
Posts: 4,553
Blog Entries: 1
Credits: 0.00
Savings: 1.00
Scared isn't the word for it!

Quote:
Originally Posted by SuzzeQ4
Well of course your angry & scared, however your daughter probably is too. Venting here is probably a good idea. However, she does need your support in order to grew in to a good responsible. i have worked as a doula, lactation consultant & childbirth educator. i have seen good Moms of all ages & bad moms of all ages.
Support & love will help your daughter support & love her baby. Helping her take responsibility with joy instead of trying to prove to her how much there is will help her take the responsibility with joy.
Offering help in order for her body to properly heal in the first 6 weeks will help her avoid PPD.
I was a young mother (21) thought I was so mature at the time...lol I did pretty well at first & then I fell a bit searcing for a social life. however I got back on track when I made friends with other Women instead of girls. I have seen this be a common pitfall.
Hope all works out well.
P.S. Hope she is planning on finnishing school. Good Luck
I have not thought about her emotions I was to caught up in my own the last couple of days. Thank you so much for reminding me that she is the one with the real feelings of scaredness here I have been through it before. She has been planning that if she truely is with baby she was going to get married this december and move to cali with her boyfriend and not finish school I am trying to talk her and him out of that and have her stay here at home so I can help. About her spending time with other women instead of girls is a great idea. Thanks so much.
__________________
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Foxmoon is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-03-2006, 02:37 AM   #15
Peace n Mutton Grease
 
Nezbah's Avatar
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
Nezbah has a reputation beyond repute
Nezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond reputeNezbah has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Ober here in NM
Posts: 946
Credits: 511.00
Savings: 1.00
Quote:
Originally Posted by Foxmoon
She has had a parneting class with that baby and she didn't do so well. Thank you for reminding me not to blame myself that really hits me hard but I truely know that there was nothing more that I could of done differently. She has made some poor choices and all I can do is try to be there for her. I will also take your advice and go to an aids clinic for her to understand the importance of safe sex for the future.
Thanks so much I might take you up on the pm.

Well I read what some other parents/mothers and other women had to say about this. Then I read your responses and the facts, mostly pertaining how ya feel about her being/possibly pregnant. Your right, you have done what you can do, now that she has made her choice doing what she did, all you can do is just support her. I know as a parent, we only want the best for our children. Now if she is pregnant, she will be a woman and forced to 'grow' up fast. There are alot of sensitive feelings on both sides, yours, hers, her fathers (if he is in the picture) and the rest of the family. Sit down and be focused about the immediate picture, support one another and don't even begin the blame game because its nonexistant right now. I know for myself, I would be confused, scared, angry, etc but I know that the past has already happened and its time to take care of the future. Maybe one of the best things you can do is go to your elders (women), pray, and let them help her with some guidance, like someone said earlier. Just make sure she is surrounded by good positive women and peers, it will hopefully make things much easier. Keep your lines of communication open, its one of the things I wish I still had with my mother today. Again, good luck and we'll keep you and your daughter in our prayers.....
__________________
You have crossed my path, You will never be forgotten......


EMAIL ME for GON 2014 Special Hotel, Air, and Car Rates...limited availability. Powwow special rates across the US and Canada. I also offer great vacation, business, and specialty fares to every destination in the world! Email for the rates
[email protected]
Nezbah is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-03-2006, 02:11 PM   #16
N8tiffUmatillaMAMA
 
WocusWoman's Avatar
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
WocusWoman has a reputation beyond repute
WocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Interior Alaska
Posts: 2,764
Credits: 1,094.49
Savings: 1.00
Go see and talk with a crisis intervention counselor. Even a trusted person to yourself will help you get it out in the open; with or without you daughter, this is a crisis... and it's important to note that it will get better as time goes on. It is important for you to be able to be supportive of your daughter and be able to stand by and help guide her in her decisions right now. Even coming on this website, sharing with us, is a form of counseling, but I would still suggest seeking help from a real person or counselor where you live. There is No replacement for human, one on one interaction.
WocusWoman is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-03-2006, 02:52 PM   #17
PowWows.com Addicts
 
* Cetan Zi *'s Avatar
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
* Cetan Zi * has a reputation beyond repute* Cetan Zi * has a reputation beyond repute* Cetan Zi * has a reputation beyond repute* Cetan Zi * has a reputation beyond repute
* Cetan Zi * has a reputation beyond repute* Cetan Zi * has a reputation beyond repute* Cetan Zi * has a reputation beyond repute* Cetan Zi * has a reputation beyond repute* Cetan Zi * has a reputation beyond repute* Cetan Zi * has a reputation beyond repute* Cetan Zi * has a reputation beyond repute* Cetan Zi * has a reputation beyond repute* Cetan Zi * has a reputation beyond repute* Cetan Zi * has a reputation beyond repute* Cetan Zi * has a reputation beyond repute* Cetan Zi * has a reputation beyond repute* Cetan Zi * has a reputation beyond repute* Cetan Zi * has a reputation beyond repute* Cetan Zi * has a reputation beyond repute* Cetan Zi * has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Montana, grew up in SD
Posts: 15,725
Credits: 0.00
Savings: 1.00
my brother turned 17 this summer, his girlfriend is 15 will be 16 in may.
they have a beautiful little girl who's 6 weeks old.

When they first told my mom and me. WE were very upset, and just then my grandmother passed away. We have decided to help them in anyway possible.

right now they are both trying to go to school, she is in an alternative program, and he is trying to get his GED. I offered them both if they return to high school I would give them a Thousand dollars if they graduated, they would only have to spend it on them selves not each other, not the baby but a big payout for themselves, so they both started school monday. I am happy that they did. I may be out of some money but hey they are going to school.

I talked to my mom, and she agreed to let them live with her if I paid for her phone bill and half her electric bill every month. So they will have a safe, sober place to bring up their little girl.

I know my mom is upset, but she is so in love with our Maria. named after my middle name..lol marie..lol.

anyhow. I know that kids having babies is not good, but these babies also need someone to care and love them to show them things they need to learn. to love.

I feel bad for lots of teen mothers who get kicked out and have no where to go. My cousin was kicked out of her home, my gram took her in, and I lived with them to help until B could get her GED and start college and get her own place. shes got a degree in business and doing good.

Young mothers need help from others esp. when their familes are disapoointed and kick them out.

I know there are young men who leave the young women, but we talked to my brother, and hes trying to take responsiblity, hes even doing his part..lol hes giving her baths, cleaning up after her, washing her cloths. cleaning bottles, and geting up in middle of the night.

......
I am sorry your upset, but try to think of the little person who may come and bring smiles and love into your life.
.....
think of your baby.. your daughter, she needs you, she may say she dont, but she does. and you need her. be there for her, love her...
* Cetan Zi * is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-03-2006, 04:04 PM   #18
Fancy Schmancy Dancer
 
MissFancyChick's Avatar
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
MissFancyChick is a glorious beacon of light
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: formerly in Seattle, now i live in Eastern Washington on the Colville Rez
Posts: 220
Credits: 250.00
Savings: 0.00
oh my goodness!! she wants to get married? and she is only 17? wow! when i got pregnant out of wedlock i made it a point NOT to get married because of that. a baby doesnt make a marriage, love does. and i would say she was too young to know... marriage to me is LIFE LONG! my parents have been happily married for 38 years and together for 40. and that is what i want. i would love to be married but im glad i didnt marry my babies father. i know now that he is not for me... i was irresponsible with him and although its hard, soooo hard to be a single mother, it is better than having a divorce. My son's father sees him often and we are great friends... but i know he is not the ONE. and i thank God for showing me that before it was too late
__________________
Love the Dance...
Feel the Drum
MissFancyChick is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-03-2006, 04:12 PM   #19
Kimimila
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
DaCotau has a reputation beyond reputeDaCotau has a reputation beyond reputeDaCotau has a reputation beyond reputeDaCotau has a reputation beyond reputeDaCotau has a reputation beyond reputeDaCotau has a reputation beyond reputeDaCotau has a reputation beyond reputeDaCotau has a reputation beyond reputeDaCotau has a reputation beyond reputeDaCotau has a reputation beyond reputeDaCotau has a reputation beyond reputeDaCotau has a reputation beyond reputeDaCotau has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: NYC
Posts: 179
Credits: 613.44
Savings: 0.00
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissFancyChick
oh my goodness!! she wants to get married? and she is only 17? wow! when i got pregnant out of wedlock i made it a point NOT to get married because of that. a baby doesnt make a marriage, love does. and i would say she was too young to know... marriage to me is LIFE LONG! my parents have been happily married for 38 years and together for 40. and that is what i want. i would love to be married but im glad i didnt marry my babies father. i know now that he is not for me... i was irresponsible with him and although its hard, soooo hard to be a single mother, it is better than having a divorce. My son's father sees him often and we are great friends... but i know he is not the ONE. and i thank God for showing me that before it was too late
It sounds like you had alot of insight into the realities of your situation. Unfortunately many people think that getting married after an unplanned pregnancy is being responsible but I think that this way of thinking only makes matters worse. Both the teen mother and father can be responsible, loving parents without exiling themselves to a life of resentment and unhappiness by getting married. People should get married because they love each other and believe that the other person is there true mate. A decision like that should not be made under pressure or stress. No need to make two life changing mistakes.
__________________
"No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible"
"You cannot give the people who have wronged you so much power that they take away your dreams"
DaCotau is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-03-2006, 04:50 PM   #20
N8tiffUmatillaMAMA
 
WocusWoman's Avatar
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
WocusWoman has a reputation beyond repute
WocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond reputeWocusWoman has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Interior Alaska
Posts: 2,764
Credits: 1,094.49
Savings: 1.00
Quote:
Originally Posted by DaCotau
It sounds like you had alot of insight into the realities of your situation. Unfortunately many people think that getting married after an unplanned pregnancy is being responsible but I think that this way of thinking only makes matters worse. Both the teen mother and father can be responsible, loving parents without exiling themselves to a life of resentment and unhappiness by getting married. People should get married because they love each other and believe that the other person is there true mate. A decision like that should not be made under pressure or stress. No need to make two life changing mistakes.
Wow, of course everyone is going to have a differing opinion as to what should be done. This mother of course has just been thrown into this situation. I have a daughter who just hit her teens, but I can't imagine her ever getting knocked up before she's ready and mature, stuff happens. Its called life. There are many options as we know. The best situation for any child is not to be aborted, unless that is the choice and free will of a person, not one I would choose with the exception of rape, health, or incest involvement. If you look at what is ideal; it is a safe two parent home, a mother and father, an income, and adoption to another native couple who has been longing for a child. My husband was adopted, thank goodness by a descent family, and I'm sure it was hard for his birth mother at the time. But while he grew up fed, warm and loved, his siblings by blood grew up in a very sorry situation with so much abuse and addictions, that they tell him now as adults that he was very lucky.
WocusWoman is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Sponsored Links
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

    

Join the online community forum celebrating Native American Culture, Pow Wows, tribes, music, art, and history.

Join PowWows.com Today!

Your Guide to Native American Pow Wows Since 1996

Register For Free

Enjoy the benefits of being a member of PowWows.com!

Join our Native American online community focused on Pow Wow singing, dancing, crafts, Native American music, Native American videos, and more.

Add your Pow Wow to our Calendar

Share your photos and videos

Play games, enter contests, and much more!






New Threads

Pow Wow Calendar Search

 
Month: Year:

Location:
Facebook Profile Images

Videos

Featured Articles

Dance Styles

Crafts

Gallery