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MishkomekinaakIkwe 05-23-2005 02:04 AM

Babies making babies
 
Well I was cart'n round my babies this weekend at a powwow and of course you always get a teenager or people who jusss have to tackle you and steal your babies!I don't usually mind this.
This time was different. A girl came up and was asking a ton of questions, name, age, dad,-everything short of DNA. So I'm blabbering on about my babies and she says "I want a baby. I like babies" and contiues on "I know how to take care of them", "I like a boy too" "His name is___" "And he likes me too" "And he plays baseball, hes a freshman"
I didn't know what to say. I was shocked. I was mortified. I was scared for her. I wasn't her mom. I didn't even know her! I've never seen her before! I realized her idea of mother hood was a little.. OFF after she asked me "Is that called breastfeeding?" I felt like I had to say SOMETHING! I tryed to explain that being a mom is hard work, being young is hard, stay in school, etc etc. I tryed giving her my story-how i never go out, how it sucks soo bad, waa waa waa! Shes says I need to take advantage of babysitters! (That wasn't the point so I dodged her suggesstion) But she was serious! "No, I want to be a mom now" I tryed my best to explain the difficulties of being a parent at a young age, but I'm not sure if I made a dent! She was asking "where's your husband" I almost asked her "whats that?" but I tryed to explain things to her.... and then I asked her how old she was. TEN YEARS OLD! She really scared the bajeeeezzzus out of me becasue she was serious and matter-of-fact! I'm not entirely sure if she understood even HOW to make a baby, but today its not that hard to figure it out! Espically if hes a freshman in highschool!
Maybe I'ma nerd and this is silly. But I'm concerned. Just a reminder to parents-tell your babies to wait!!! If my babies weren't infants I'd tell them too! I think I'll them anyways!

Blackbear 05-23-2005 04:18 AM

Man that had to be scary!

~pathwalker~ 05-23-2005 06:48 AM

I worry abour this from a different aspect. I worry about my son getting some young girl pregnant. Yes, I have talked to him and he knows what to do and not do, but I still worry. Accidents do happen. I worry that young girls like that, determined to be a mom by the age of TEN, will trick him in some way...I am not saying that I am not concerned for the young girls that feel this way, but I have found that you can talk to them till you are blue in the face and still not change thier minds because of the attitude that they are grown and know better than you do. You just can't get thru to them and I am sorry if I p!ss anyone off with this but it is the parents fault. That's just how I feel.

Kiwehnzii 05-23-2005 12:02 PM

I don't know who's fault it is, but I went to a powwow this weekend and noticed a greater number of kids pushing around buggies. Not 17-18 year old kids. Younger than that! Not only that, but there were other kids ( friends of the mother ) really fussing over the baby and a few times I heard them saying that they wished for a baby too.

A few years back this was happening too, but not so often and when it did, it was a shock. Nobody expected a 13-14-15 year old to be a mother. Shocking! Now, theres 30 year old Grammas & Grampas. WTF!

Now................. it's not a big deal. People think this is......................... normal? Dang.

SideSteppinMom 05-23-2005 12:58 PM

For me it's sad to see the young teens here having babies....their just babies themselves. It also saddens me that they just leave it up their parents/grandparents to take care of (or raise) their babies for them. Come on....if they're old enough to be having sex then they should be taking on that responsibility of taking care of their baby. There's nothing wrong with being raised by grandparents....don't get wrong... heck, one that's raised by grandma and grandpa will probably be raised with good morals and beliefs Just my two cents.

AngelFeather 05-23-2005 03:08 PM

I agree... theres more and more of it happneing and it seems to be more accepted.
I was one of them teen mothers... But i didnt passed off my responsibility to sumone else. I always vowed to raise all my kdis no matter what and what life experiences handed to me. I cant judge these young mothers really... i was one like I said.. we dont really know thier circumstances. It good that they DO ahve parents willing to help them tho.. and family to be there for them. I see alot of white girls get preggos and they have no one

I wouldnt know what to do with out my kids.. they are my life.

But its true,, i see alot more of them today than when i was a kid... heck i was hiding my pregnancy from whoever i could i felt bad becasue i was young. now days it seems they going out to GET preggos on purpose. I have even seen mothers encourage thier children to have babies..

bahnisiain 05-23-2005 04:59 PM

i can't understand why a 10 year old really wants to have a baby at that age. I can think that maybe she thinks that its cool in someway or maybe having a baby would give her someone love without questions asked. possible that there isn't any love be given to her and that she has to find it else where like that.

AngelFeather 05-23-2005 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bahnisiain
i can't understand why a 10 year old really wants to have a baby at that age. I can think that maybe she thinks that its cool in someway or maybe having a baby would give her someone love without questions asked. possible that there isn't any love be given to her and that she has to find it else where like that.


thats very true,,, they lack in thier own families and Do feel the only way to get that love is to create it.

~pathwalker~ 05-23-2005 05:23 PM

AF, I was a teen mom too and I did not give my responsability away either.

I was 18 though, not TEN, ten isn't even teen yet...it is just sad. I think it's because they aren't gettin love also, that is why I blame the parent. (adult figure in their life., or lack thereof.)

WocusWoman 05-23-2005 05:36 PM

That's so sad; hopefully your talking to her will make a dent. At least you listened and responded. She obviously wanted somebody to listen. I find that usually kids in this situation, are looking for a way out of their problems,"homes". They most likely are suffering some type or many types of abuse in their home. She probably doesn't feel loved from parent or caregiver, so she's seeking that in a baby, that she has convinced her will give un-conditional love. This is so very extreme; but more common that you think. This is a serious cry out for help; if it were possible to identify who this girl was or where she lives, I would take it upon myself to let somebody, anybody know about her.

AngelFeather 05-23-2005 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~pathwalker~
AF, I was a teen mom too and I did not give my responsability away either.

I was 18 though, not TEN, ten isn't even teen yet...it is just sad. I think it's because they aren't gettin love also, that is why I blame the parent. (adult figure in their life., or lack thereof.)


exactly PW... The parents have responsibility in this too, totally.

Blackbear 05-23-2005 09:16 PM

You know.. this is gonna sound totally silly the way I am beginning this.. but having watched about 5 years worth of Maury Povich teen girls wanna have babies shows.. the main common factor that I have noticed in about 98.9% of these girls is that they don't have a father figure in their home. They are either of divorced parents where they see very little of their dad, or there has never been a father figure due to death or mom never remarried. Most of them have a very low self esteem as well.

middle of the sky 05-23-2005 09:35 PM

i thought the youngest mom around here was 14 but my daughter knows a 12 yr old from her teen mother mentoring program. she rides around on her grandmas scooter her and her baby..well there both babies enit.. i was 17.. get them to babysit or maybe not...let them see how much responsiblity it is... didnt they get teens to take caRE OF AN EGG FOR A WEEK BEFORE? oops cap lock... i cannot stress the importance of a father figure... i wish i knew better

lakota_mami303 05-23-2005 09:40 PM

I kno so many young girls my age or younger(then 19) that are like non stop havin babies!! Im like wtf...ya kno...didnt u learn the first time? Ur kid aint even one yet lol...i have a few friends in that situation. Teaches me..i kno its hard...and see that they struggle...they kant go out ne more...they quit school, etc. I think its sad cuz they dont realize that they still have their whole lives ahead of them. I work at a hospital..part of my job is auditing charts...omg i see so many young and i mean YOUNG gurls having kids everyday...its krazy..its sad

SingingDeer 05-23-2005 09:50 PM

Yikes! I'd have been scared for her too!

My daughter was 16 and living with her dad, but she felt she needed love... long story short - she got pregnant, but she weighed all the decisions carefully and decided that she needed to finish school and that she wanted to give her little boy the best chance he could have... she gave him up for adoption and she knows the adoptive parents... they call it an "open adoption" so that he can contact her when he's old enough and ready.... he'll be 2 next Mon. She wanted to do what was best for him and not necessarily for her... after all how could she provide for him at her age.... never mind that none of her parents/step-parents/grandparents could afford to help her financially either. She decided after all the events were through that she wasn't going to make that mistake again and the next time would be a keeper and under more ideal circumstances... preferrably within a marriage and not as a single mom.

*Brown Eyed Gurl* 05-23-2005 09:51 PM

I HAD MY FIRST WHEN I WAS 17....I MOVED OUT CUS I WANTED TO B ALL ADULT, MY MOM WANTED ME TO STAY HOME WITH HER BUT SHE HAS NEVER TOLD ME WHAT TO DO....MY FATHER WAS VERY STRICT...BUT EVEN HE ACCEPTED THE PREGNANCY AND IM GLAD I HAD THEM THEN, MY PARENTS ARE 51 AND 61...AND MY KIDS ARE 12 AND 10 AND 3...MY GRANNY DIED WHEN I WAS 10 MY OTHER DIED WHEN I WAS 14....MY KIDS WILL HAVE THEIR GRANDPARENTS AROUND FOR ANOTHER 10-15 YRS WELL HOPEFULLY....THEY HAVE EATING HABITS AS BAD AS I DO:lol:...UMM I DONT HAVE A POINT LOL I GUESS I WAS JUST POSTING TO POST

middle of the sky 05-23-2005 09:54 PM

"I GUESS I WAS JUST POSTING TO POST"


nooo not you begs... :smile: im a young grandma at 29
:pinocchio

MishkomekinaakIkwe 05-24-2005 10:21 AM

Yeah I wanted to say something to her mom, but like a few of you said-its the parent(s) "fault". I share the same view. So I didn't want to go & offend her & I could see by their interaction (or lack of) it just wasn't....well I'll say it didn't look or feel like the relationship I have with my kids. And if that was the case, I would be having a conversation with an unhealthy person-which is useless...Like trying to talk a drunk- drunk into treatment! Useless.. So I told her as much as I could from my own experience. Being a young, single mom is HARD! I'm not forgetting the single dads either. You fellas ROCK! I know three single dads & their awesome. Two of the dads have 4 kids! And the other guy has one baby. One or Four? Its rough!

~pathwalker~ 05-24-2005 12:08 PM

this is just a cute story from a fellow "MOM"

I was giving my kids a few cookies, and as usual, my 7 year-old
daughter scarfed hers really fast. My 9 year-old daughter is
slow and still had a couple left. My 4 year-old son was eating
his in another room.

"Can I have some more?" asked the 7-year-old.

"Nope," I said. "You should slow down and enjoy them."

"I do enjoy them," she said. "That's why I eat them so fast."

I smiled and patted her on the head. She always surprises me
with her ability to express herself.

"I wish I was her," she said pointing to my other daughter...
"well, I don't really want to be her. I just want her cookies." :board_yu:

I gave a hearty laugh and turned to their mother. "I just know
she's going to be a politician."

nativegal 05-24-2005 12:15 PM

I really can't say too much about this cause I was pregnant, only about 2 months, when I graduated from high school, and had my son right before my 19th birthday. I was one of those kids growing up that wanted a baby at a early age until I had one. I was really scared and thank god mom was there to support me cause the daddy wasn't and still is not to this day and that baby is now 7 years old. I have been with the same guy for 6 years now and he is the "dad" to my little boy and treats his as his own. I mean don't get me wrong I love both of my kids...... but as the many sayings your parents tell you and they thought you never listened........i wish I would have waited. I never really got to experience my young adulthood. I went from high school straight to parenthood. I have always told the fellas off of my honey's drum group that any time they want a kid, they can gladley borrow either one of mine. They know how my kids are wild :lol_hitti as with any kids so they change their minds real quick!!! :stork-boy


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