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Old 07-04-2007, 04:09 PM   #1
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Question Me n my daughter are curious about this

What does it mean and what are you supposed to do when a boy wants to give a girl a gift. This has happened to my daughter a few times at different powwows. We have our own ideas and opinions, but we'd like to see others, too.
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Old 07-04-2007, 06:17 PM   #2
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Depends on the specific situation but it usually means the wants your daughter for one thing or another. I don't mean it has to be sexual or anything. He could just really be into her.
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Old 07-04-2007, 11:01 PM   #3
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does your daughter dance and is it the same boy could be they is just honoring her for the way she dances
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Old 07-04-2007, 11:35 PM   #4
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I have a 14 year old daughter, so my opinion is this: It depends on the kind of girl your daughter is. Does she dance and she into culture. OR, is she the kind of boy crazy girl that hangs out, acts silly and dresses inappropriately. There is a wide range of teenage girls. Your lucky if you end up with a daughter who is not acting out in negative ways. I would hope that it is all innocent and that your daughter is aware that she is too young for commitment and such. If you can keep an open conversation going with your daughter until she no longer needs you, that will be great. Be warned to remember you are her mother first, you are not her equal or her friend. Parents, especially mothers fall into that trap. I feel it is ok, once she is a self-sufficient adult to be a good friend to her, but for now be a good mother to her, you'll never regret it. As far as why boys or a boy would want to give her things, I would get to the bottom of it, even if you do so in a secretive manner, as to not embarrass her or the boy.
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Old 07-05-2007, 07:14 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by WocusWoman View Post
I have a 14 year old daughter, so my opinion is this: It depends on the kind of girl your daughter is. Does she dance and she into culture. OR, is she the kind of boy crazy girl that hangs out, acts silly and dresses inappropriately. There is a wide range of teenage girls. Your lucky if you end up with a daughter who is not acting out in negative ways. I would hope that it is all innocent and that your daughter is aware that she is too young for commitment and such. If you can keep an open conversation going with your daughter until she no longer needs you, that will be great. Be warned to remember you are her mother first, you are not her equal or her friend. Parents, especially mothers fall into that trap. I feel it is ok, once she is a self-sufficient adult to be a good friend to her, but for now be a good mother to her, you'll never regret it. As far as why boys or a boy would want to give her things, I would get to the bottom of it, even if you do so in a secretive manner, as to not embarrass her or the boy.
i agree with you on everything you stated here. i also would like to ask. what type of gift or gifts is she getting?
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Old 07-05-2007, 07:31 AM   #6
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I remember getting gifts here and there and it was always done in a good way. its up to the girls family to decide if the gifts are being given for the rite reasons . My dad always very watchfull never said much about the gifts cause mostly he already knew the familys. I got popcorn "to share" icecream, a meal ticket "even though I had my own lol" Then as I got older they got a little bigger . A Navaho guy gave me a braclet and earing set but before he gave htem to me he first asked my dad and mom if he could. The reason was he liked me had for a while and decided to gift me. We ended up dating for a while. This subject could go way deeper but it all boils down to is your her mother you decide whats, what with the gifting.
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Old 07-05-2007, 07:43 AM   #7
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I remember getting gifts here and there and it was always done in a good way. its up to the girls family to decide if the gifts are being given for the rite reasons . My dad always very watchfull never said much about the gifts cause mostly he already knew the familys. I got popcorn "to share" icecream, a meal ticket "even though I had my own lol" Then as I got older they got a little bigger . A Navaho guy gave me a braclet and earing set but before he gave htem to me he first asked my dad and mom if he could. The reason was he liked me had for a while and decided to gift me. We ended up dating for a while. This subject could go way deeper but it all boils down to is your her mother you decide whats, what with the gifting.
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Old 07-10-2007, 10:05 PM   #8
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i agree with you on everything you stated here. i also would like to ask. what type of gift or gifts is she getting?
She's gotten parts of outfits, meal tickets... Fourth of July Powwow she got a beaded belt.
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Old 07-10-2007, 10:26 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by WocusWoman View Post
I have a 14 year old daughter, so my opinion is this: It depends on the kind of girl your daughter is. Does she dance and she into culture. OR, is she the kind of boy crazy girl that hangs out, acts silly and dresses inappropriately. There is a wide range of teenage girls. Your lucky if you end up with a daughter who is not acting out in negative ways. I would hope that it is all innocent and that your daughter is aware that she is too young for commitment and such. If you can keep an open conversation going with your daughter until she no longer needs you, that will be great. Be warned to remember you are her mother first, you are not her equal or her friend. Parents, especially mothers fall into that trap. I feel it is ok, once she is a self-sufficient adult to be a good friend to her, but for now be a good mother to her, you'll never regret it. As far as why boys or a boy would want to give her things, I would get to the bottom of it, even if you do so in a secretive manner, as to not embarrass her or the boy.
Hi WocusWoman.
I must be lucky. My daughter is a good girl. She's quiet and well mannered. She dances and loves her culture. Where ever we are she is always behaved and dressed appropriately. Do you think it would be wise to have my daughter have the boy come and ask me if he could gift her?
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Old 07-10-2007, 11:10 PM   #10
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The small gifts I got they never asked but as we got older and the gifts got bigger the young man always asked my dad first. He never just gave to me . By doing that way you can get a good idea of what his intensions are reguarding your daughter. And that also shows not only respect towards your daughter but to you as well. They even first asked if they could talk with me and if dad said ok we then talked where we could be seen. So others could not say we were doing things that were not propper. Im sure you have a very good girl and care deeply for her or else you would not be asking these questions. And guys men aret same with certain things on their minds. Girls/ woman could be wearing complete body armor and he would be thinkin hummm wonder what she looks like under al that armor! Does that make sence? I mean we could be weraing anything and they would still have the same thoughts. BUt if she accecpts the gifts and they are meant for her in a good way then it will be so. And if not she has been taught well by saying I do not accecpt these gifts and by not accecpting them hopefully sends the message your gifting will not get you anything . Hope this helps
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Old 07-16-2007, 04:35 PM   #11
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The small gifts I got they never asked but as we got older and the gifts got bigger the young man always asked my dad first. He never just gave to me . By doing that way you can get a good idea of what his intensions are reguarding your daughter. And that also shows not only respect towards your daughter but to you as well. They even first asked if they could talk with me and if dad said ok we then talked where we could be seen. So others could not say we were doing things that were not propper. Im sure you have a very good girl and care deeply for her or else you would not be asking these questions. And guys men aret same with certain things on their minds. Girls/ woman could be wearing complete body armor and he would be thinkin hummm wonder what she looks like under al that armor! Does that make sence? I mean we could be weraing anything and they would still have the same thoughts. BUt if she accecpts the gifts and they are meant for her in a good way then it will be so. And if not she has been taught well by saying I do not accecpt these gifts and by not accecpting them hopefully sends the message your gifting will not get you anything . Hope this helps

Eagle Plumes, Everything you say here makes perfect sense. Fortunately as far as I know she's been gifted in a good way. Every now and again an uncle will be around for the "boy" to ask if this or thats okay. Usually its me, her, and my two younger boys, so lateley she'll introduce the boy to me ask if what-evers okay. She does stay visible at all times. So far it seems we're handleing these situations the right way. Thanks so much for this.
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Old 07-16-2007, 04:51 PM   #12
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Eagle Plumes always has great advice.
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Old 07-16-2007, 08:39 PM   #13
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When I was given my first bird, I gave away plumes to the girls my age that I knew like they were candy. This was mostly done thru the fathers, ect ect.. I never wanted anything out of it, just to help out.. There was one girl, I gave her 5 feathers for a tail fan.. (Nice black and whites) I did want a little more than to be nice, buy was not trying to buy my way into anything.

She did pick me several times to be her head junior dancer, and I returned the same, I was the bad boy, she was the good girl, nothing ever happened, and never went anywhere, but for awhile I considered us good friends.

I'd do it all again.

I haven't seen that fan in ages, but I've seen alot of my plumes around :)
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Old 07-16-2007, 09:05 PM   #14
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When I was given my first bird, I gave away plumes to the girls my age that I knew like they were candy. This was mostly done thru the fathers, ect ect.. I never wanted anything out of it, just to help out.. There was one girl, I gave her 5 feathers for a tail fan.. (Nice black and whites) I did want a little more than to be nice, buy was not trying to buy my way into anything.

She did pick me several times to be her head junior dancer, and I returned the same, I was the bad boy, she was the good girl, nothing ever happened, and never went anywhere, but for awhile I considered us good friends.

I'd do it all again.

I haven't seen that fan in ages, but I've seen alot of my plumes around :)
I now name you PLume daddy! Im teasin.
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Old 07-16-2007, 09:30 PM   #15
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Hi WocusWoman.
I must be lucky. My daughter is a good girl. She's quiet and well mannered. She dances and loves her culture. Where ever we are she is always behaved and dressed appropriately. Do you think it would be wise to have my daughter have the boy come and ask me if he could gift her?
I believe that would be the proper way.
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