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Old 02-13-2013, 01:19 PM   #21
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Good thread topic that is coming at the right time...for me anyway as my beadwork thread took the wrong turn right out of the box. For some reason, the question I was asking was spun into something that did not at all resemble the thing I was originally asking about.
I have reread all of my posts on that thread so many times only to find that nothing I said directly in any way resembled what it had turned into. The reason for the misunderstanding of such a basic question has yet to dawn on me.

On an anonymous internet forum it is easy for people to post their thoughts in a manner without thinking of how this could be interpreted by others. It is done most of the time in an innocent way, but sure enough by the time several posters read it, it has taken on a life of it's own.
Other times the most innocent topic loses it's original meaning completely due to vital portions of the story being not mentioned. It is a hard thing to do to ask for or post information while still maintaining a level of privacy and keeping your personal feelings and information out of it.
It's like that communications exercise where there the first person in a long line (or room full) of people are told one thing and by the time it reached the last person, it was totally different from what was first told to them.
To make matters worse, a person will become defensive when no defense is called for which in turn causes their cyber friends to come to their defense making posts that indicate they have their cyber friend's back.

As far as suggestions on how to defend yourself from having to take the blame for the misunderstanding or the thought process of others, my suggestion is to simply ignore those who fall out of line and do not provide any sort of answer or feedback to them that they can then use against you. If you do provide them an answer or comment that post will be taken out of context causing you further aggrevation and forcing you to provide personal information that will be used against you. It then goes on and on and on until feelings are hurt and your online forum persona has a negative reputation attached to it.
As I mentioned on another thread, I have served as moderator on several political based forums and things like this happen all the time. I would get requests from the original posters to delete their posts, sometimes their entire history of postings!! I did fulfill that request one time and it took me the better part of two days of free time to accomplish it.
Craziness in the world of internet forum posting!!
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Old 02-13-2013, 01:36 PM   #22
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Unbelievable, denial is definitely not a river in Egypt
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Old 02-13-2013, 04:51 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lbgood View Post
Unbelievable, denial is definitely not a river in Egypt
And it, apparently, runs through "NY, NY."
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Old 02-14-2013, 07:15 AM   #24
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Misunderstandings are hard to avoid online. It’s the nature of the medium. People don’t really know who you are or your way of thinking. It takes duration and a level of intimacy for that. You just gotta know that online messaging or forums is a ‘contact sport.’ It’s a stage for people to influence the story. There will always be the influence of the opinion of others and how they choose to dissect your statements. And I think a lot of times it’s not misunderstandings per ser, but just an opportunity for ppl to take things out on you.
And not everybody is being ‘real’ online. There are a lot of posers, deceivers, and fakes; even on this forum if you haven’t noticed. Take Docat as a real example of a poser, deceiver, or fake. Her comment on this very thread is talking like she is the ‘big mama’ or something but look at the thread about Green Coffee Extract and you’ll see how hypocritical her comments make her. In that thread, her agenda is to make ppl think I am not an Asian physician. In real life, it doesn’t change the fact that I am asian and a physician (amongst other things). But online she can make it seem something else. Docat is the creator of misunderstandings in that thread, but then the next week she poses as if she is above all that in this one. Cyber space is actually suited for deceivers like Docat, and quite a challenge to be genuine. You almost need to be a reporter through other ppl or documentation if you don’t want to be hurt using your own voice. The nature of the online medium is set against you already, and all too easy for ppl to cut others down. Even the president and Dalai Lama get cut down online. So if it’s your feelings that you are worried about, speak in small sound bites (don’t give them so much to speak against), or through other ppl; otherwise growing thicker skin might be your best option if you want to speak with your own voice.
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Old 02-14-2013, 07:24 AM   #25
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Originally Posted by RestlessN8iv View Post
As I said, I didn't mean it literally.

Yup - understood. Don't worry, all's good.
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Old 02-14-2013, 06:36 PM   #26
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Misunderstandings turn into worse when people judge others. When you judge, you are no longer listening, so your authority in the conversation is lessened. Judgemental people also score lower on scales of intellect and effective personality type. Highly perceptive people are pinpointed via personality tests used by the military, government and corporate culture to target for the highest leadership roles. It is precisely an ability to recognize and deal with shades of gray that is necessary in a leader. You cannot perceive or listen and judge at the same time.

People need to take responsibility if they've created a climate where people feel they cannot admit simple mistakes or hold another viewpoint. If people say, "hey, look I made a mistake" or "I misspoke" or "I didn't say that quite right" that they aren't humiliated. People type how they talk and without seeing people's faces and hearing their tone of voice, it is hard to know how things come across or what the poster really is saying.

I try not to hide behind misunderstanding though when I know it is not, I try to write really clearly and get bunk for that because it sounds angry when it is not. Just kind of blunt. We all do that.

And hey, I think its kind of nice when someone takes the time to debate. After all, it's Valentine's Day...

But then, what do I know? I used to love to jump on the bed! Can't you tell?
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Old 02-14-2013, 07:26 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeke View Post
And it, apparently, runs through "NY, NY."
Gee, I wonder who left me this passive aggressive red bead? Perhaps believing response went to others and not me? Phrasing would imply such...

"I live in NY, NY and he has anomosity against me for some untold reason, hence the comment. Never have I been in 'denial' about anything since coming on this forum. LIke many of his comments to fellow posters, it gets personal and uncalled for."

1. I have anomosity [sic] towards nothing but bad ideas.
2. Pointing out bad ideas isn't personal or uncalled for.

In fact, it's demanded so that such thoughts don't germinate.

This isn't undocumented behavior...
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Old 02-14-2013, 07:49 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeke View Post
Gee, I wonder who left me this passive aggressive red bead? Perhaps believing response went to others and not me? Phrasing would imply such...

"I live in NY, NY and he has anomosity against me for some untold reason, hence the comment. Never have I been in 'denial' about anything since coming on this forum. LIke many of his comments to fellow posters, it gets personal and uncalled for."

1. I have anomosity [sic] towards nothing but bad ideas.
2. Pointing out bad ideas isn't personal or uncalled for.

In fact, it's demanded so that such thoughts don't germinate.

This isn't undocumented behavior...
Well sex offenders no one needs as for drums never seen any one die from a drum lol this thread is about misunderstanding were do my ny come in at
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Old 02-14-2013, 08:05 PM   #29
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Old 02-14-2013, 08:53 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeke View Post
Gee, I wonder who left me this passive aggressive red bead? Perhaps believing response went to others and not me? Phrasing would imply such...

"I live in NY, NY and he has anomosity against me for some untold reason, hence the comment. Never have I been in 'denial' about anything since coming on this forum. LIke many of his comments to fellow posters, it gets personal and uncalled for."

1. I have anomosity [sic] towards nothing but bad ideas.
2. Pointing out bad ideas isn't personal or uncalled for.

In fact, it's demanded so that such thoughts don't germinate.

This isn't undocumented behavior...
Zeke - you are cool -
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Old 02-15-2013, 02:53 AM   #31
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elo Janis View Post
To make matters worse, a person will become defensive when no defense is called for which in turn causes their cyber friends to come to their defense making posts that indicate they have their cyber friend's back.

As far as suggestions on how to defend yourself from having to take the blame for the misunderstanding or the thought process of others, my suggestion is to simply ignore those who fall out of line and do not provide any sort of answer or feedback to them that they can then use against you. If you do provide them an answer or comment that post will be taken out of context causing you further aggrevation and forcing you to provide personal information that will be used against you. It then goes on and on and on until feelings are hurt and your online forum persona has a negative reputation attached to it.
@Elo Janis
You do realize you were doing the opposite of what you advised just a few days ago? I have no problem with you responding to every offense you perceived, but I think in this case your critics are legit. Is this what you have learned, from just a few days ago? Do you mean it’s better to ignore but you find it hard to do so yourself? Or are you really trying to present yourself as someone who believes and does as you advised? I think you're in danger of catching Docat’s disease. So I just set the table for you to clarify or come clean. Please do so.

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Old 02-15-2013, 02:59 AM   #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reocurringdream View Post
@Elo Janis
You do realize you were doing the opposite of what you advised just a few days ago? I have no problem with you responding to every offense you perceived, but I think in this case your critics are legit.
1. Yes.
2. Hypocrisy 101.
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Old 02-16-2013, 01:14 AM   #33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reocurringdream View Post
@Elo Janis
You do realize you were doing the opposite of what you advised just a few days ago? I have no problem with you responding to every offense you perceived, but I think in this case your critics are legit. Is this what you have learned, from just a few days ago? Do you mean it’s better to ignore but you find it hard to do so yourself? Or are you really trying to present yourself as someone who believes and does as you advised? I think you're in danger of catching Docat’s disease. So I just set the table for you to clarify or come clean. Please do so.

Everyone on here has a point they reach where, when people don't let up, they stop ignoring. It's just too time consuming to fight with people who just say they are right and need to be right or else they will melt into oblivion. So don't act like you're above changing your mind or getting sick of reading one hateful post after another. We all do. I find it odd you guys are STILL stuck on this. So what? Even if someone is a hypocrit, and I'm not saying anyone is, so what? I mean what do you get if you call them out, do you grow an extra inch? Do you need it that bad? And God forbid anyone misspeak. Come on, are we really lacking material that bad? Hey, I think this whole thread is lame. I mean, come on. Lets talk about misunderstandings? Why do people misunderstand? How do you know they are? Maybe you are miscommunicating? Or both? And why? Because people aren't perfect. And who cares? I mean, gosh, unless you are running for president or something, geez. This is just so soft and fuzzy. Yick. Heck, I'd rather be around someone who makes mistakes and is secure enough to admit them than someone who has to be right all the time. On the other hand, hearing I'm sorry all the time gets old too. This is a rut. Hey why does all this microsoft stuff show up when I quote reoccurringdream? There is a ton of crap there. Looks like Word "html" which is not html.
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Old 02-16-2013, 01:57 AM   #34
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I got bored of this and several threads recently. I even had to close a few threads that were beyond the point of no return. Things keep turning into people just saying the same things over and over and over again.

Muskrat, what HTML is showing when you quote recurringdream?
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Old 02-16-2013, 07:43 AM   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by muskrat_skull View Post
Everyone on here has a point they reach where, when people don't let up, they stop ignoring. It's just too time consuming to fight with people who just say they are right and need to be right or else they will melt into oblivion. So don't act like you're above changing your mind or getting sick of reading one hateful post after another. We all do. I find it odd you guys are STILL stuck on this. So what? Even if someone is a hypocrit, and I'm not saying anyone is, so what? I mean what do you get if you call them out, do you grow an extra inch? Do you need it that bad? And God forbid anyone misspeak. Come on, are we really lacking material that bad? Hey, I think this whole thread is lame. I mean, come on. Lets talk about misunderstandings? Why do people misunderstand? How do you know they are? Maybe you are miscommunicating? Or both? And why? Because people aren't perfect. And who cares? I mean, gosh, unless you are running for president or something, geez. This is just so soft and fuzzy. Yick. Heck, I'd rather be around someone who makes mistakes and is secure enough to admit them than someone who has to be right all the time. On the other hand, hearing I'm sorry all the time gets old too. This is a rut. Hey why does all this microsoft stuff show up when I quote reoccurringdream? There is a ton of crap there. Looks like Word "html" which is not html.
Really? I'm in the habit of writing in word first then cutting/pasting it. I've lost so many emails in the past and had to start over, and of course re-writing things is so tedious. You should be able to quote this without problems if you want.
About hypocrisy, I think its a matter of integrity. Making observation is an active process of discernment. And I know you've discerned things in other threads, so not sure why turning a blind eye to hypocrites is a point for you. Maybe its for your buddies? I'm not much for the herd-instinct, lonliness, and having buddies. Maybe that's just the benefit of being connected with ppl doing the speaking. But, what's so good about censoring yourself in front of hypocrites even if they are buddies? I look for kindred spirits with the courage for truth. But I differ with you about hypocrites. I definitely care who I'm speaking with. It's a basic respect I extend to ppl, to care or at least take time to respond. If they show hypocrisy, then they've lost respect. The person is not dis-respecting by pointing it out or taking one on. I think its kind of admirable. So I think reprimanding them is misplaced. Being a hypocrite is pretty low on the scale of human character. Its a distaste I think most ppl have, even to you I think, eventually. And to lbgood & Zeke, I care. It's not wrong to point out in my opinion. So I appreciate the heads-up. I wasn't part of the svastika-family design gang-up,and I didn't really keep up with the thread so much. It was more a disappointment for me, but I believe this is a different issue. Or maybe its not I'm not sure actually. So my distaste starts as of yesterday not before, and I'm giving elo janis a couple of outs to move beyond the rut. I'm not saying she is for sure but lbgood and Zeke seem legit with their observation as it is now. Perhaps one doesn't have to write about it though. But If proper action means nothing then you really don't need to say anything either. Just let ppl feel free to write what they want.
About having a limit, not being perfect, miscommunicating, and having to be right all the time; I agree.
Although I prefer someone who is right most of the time.
About misunderstandings, Docat is definitely a hypocrite and a good real & current example of when you know the attacker/misunderstander comes from that character base, it makes that person laughable and signifies their own problems/shame than the ones they are trying to accuse you with. It addresses the idea of taking ppl to be 'real' and thus the hurt that comes from it. It illustrates my point through Docat's hypocrisy that ppl aren't always 'real,' and perhaps it might still hurt but it surely hurts less when the misunderstander lacks character/substance. I've shown a few of my friends and patients the Green Coffee Extract thread, and she's become abit of a joke around the office. We call it Docat's disease. Thus I say laughable and hurts less. My black friend, not buddy, says he lost respect for nDn's after reading Docat. But tell you honestly, my friend doesn't know much about nDn's. I'm the closest thing he knows to nDn. lol I'm saying that if you take this forum as a type of community, the members become representative of a type of quality. Thus, you might be inclined to take the attacker/misunderstander to be 'real,' but one should make discernment about the attacker/misunderstander. So my comment about misunderstandings is ...its about understanding the medium and discerning character(s) amidst an environment of anonymity before emotional hurt stings deeply. Also words are inadequate, so sometimes they just can't relate to what you're saying. But to add, you can clarify the misunderstanding if they give you a chance. If the misunderstander becomes revealed to be an attacker, then nothing wrong with defending yourself. If we talking about why humans misunderstand. May I suggest space between us. Collateral damage to being in individual bodies.
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Old 02-16-2013, 11:28 AM   #36
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People, if you are going to write long replies please use paragraphs to break it up. I'm not singling anyone out here. When people write long drawn out posts without paragraphs that it can lead to misunderstandings.
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Old 02-16-2013, 06:30 PM   #37
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I got bored of this and several threads recently. I even had to close a few threads that were beyond the point of no return. Things keep turning into people just saying the same things over and over and over again.

Muskrat, what HTML is showing when you quote recurringdream?
I'll see if I can get it again and I will pm it to you. Oh, its all those funky Microsoft xml tags and a billion includes of formatting and library stuff I guess that word uses to deal with html. Like if you take a word doc, then save it as html, it will be this xml thing, quite lengthy.

I'm almost positive it is from typing in Word, possibly saving as html (which is xml for word), and then pasting it including formatting. I think it would be better to compose in notepad or maybe wordpad if in .rtf format and paste with no formatting. Otherwise, to write your html in Komposer or another straight html composer.

I didn't like it because, while most of it looked okay, I dont need some adware or spyware. I did get something recently on here when I did something, I forget what, just a misdirect. I assumed I must have somehow hit an ad on the sidebar or bottom or somewhere else.
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Old 02-16-2013, 06:34 PM   #38
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People, if you are going to write long replies please use paragraphs to break it up. I'm not singling anyone out here. When people write long drawn out posts without paragraphs that it can lead to misunderstandings.
reoccurringdream yesterday 2 AM, just quote it and you will see it. I am pming you it too. It's just office stuff I think.
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Old 02-16-2013, 11:40 PM   #39
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When people write long drawn out posts without paragraphs that it can lead to misunderstandings.
And the name of this thread is what?????

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Old 02-17-2013, 01:54 AM   #40
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reoccurringdream yesterday 2 AM, just quote it and you will see it. I am pming you it too. It's just office stuff I think.
I'm composing in word and cutting and pasting it. I'm not saving in html though. And it is office.
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When I despair, I remember that all through history the ways of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it—always.

Last edited by reocurringdream; 02-17-2013 at 01:57 AM.. Reason: office
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