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Old 07-04-2005, 07:58 PM   #21
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I agree with PW it is good to show your children that there father is eqally involved in the house hold, also when the both of you talk & get along children learn so much from their parents relationships. Joel & I also are best friends we talk all the time & are still holding hands & cuddling all the time, the boys have learned from us that not only do we love each other we also like each other. it's a good thing. as far as training it's just a word I use when ever I need help if he in't busy he will pitch in. we have all boys, so that is the way we teach them it's ok to do the dishes & vaccuming I hardly do the dishes any more. the both of you need to get away even if it's just for a weekend! Joel & I ways take a 3-4 day weekend off once a year & we still go on dates 2 a month. I sounds like you a have a good man go talk to him & tell him how you feel.
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Old 07-08-2005, 11:13 AM   #22
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Thank you for your replies. I think it has really helped me figure out how to get over this 'obstacle' that I felt was getting in the way of my relationship.
I need to realize that there will ALWAYS be something that needs cleaning, and it's okay to let it be dirty for a moment.
My 2 yo dd knows how to put a garbage bag in the garbage pail!! A 2 yo should be learning how to play in the sand, swim in the lake, put together a puzzle, play with the dolls, etc. Not how to scrub the toilet, lol!

My 4 mo watches me and my 2 yo zooming about cleaning. She is already trying to crawl! She has no interest in sitting, she already gets up on her hands and knees and does the rocking back and forth motion.

The other 4 mo babies are still laying there, making cute little cooing noises, smiling, etc.
And my baby thinks it's time to go, go, GO! :LOL

It gets lonely not having another person here to share in the cool developments of the baby and 2 yo, kwim?
Sometimes I feel stupid for getting all excited about something they have done, and it's just me here. :)

My absolute favorite memory is walking into the bedroom and my 2 yo is playin her piano and singing just beautiful to her baby sister. The baby is looking at her with pure love, like she knew that song was just for her, a gift from her sister.
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Old 07-08-2005, 11:55 AM   #23
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awww, such a sweet image of her singing to her sister. I am glad you have realized the stress that you were placing on your self though. You are right, you dont need to be perfect with the cleaning. It will get done soon enough. And it is allright to be excited about ALL the cute things they do. They will only do them ONCE for the first time. So be excited and let them know how proud you are as their mom. It doesnt hurt to teach your 2 yo simple things like picking up her toys. She can help keep her things straight. It will help you and her in the long run. I did everything for my kidz and when they got older they just EXPECTED me to do it and I became overwhelmed. Structure is a good thing and order in their lives will only help them when they get older. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! You have your children there. And he loves them too. So let him know what he missed them DO for the first time. If you have any pictures of them I would love to see them. Do you have 2 four month olds?
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Old 07-08-2005, 12:23 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mia Gahdus
I read your posts about 'training' and I got to thinking ....who 'trained' me?

I was raised traditional. I grew up attending births (makes you wonder why the nearest birthing hospital is always three hours away from all the rez's?), ceremonies, got my pipe when i became a woman, sweats, powwows, i have stood up for my people, walked across my country (yeah, almost died, in hindsight it sure isn't anything i'd let MY kid do, lol! Yeah, iwas a kid, no where near legal adult age lol!)

When it came to men, I was taught to be docile(right word?).
When I wake up, i think well of my husband. What does he have to do today, and how can I help him so that his day goes well?
And, lately, it has been a real shock to find that he does not do the same
I was raised much the same in regards to husbands... to cater to thier needs in a loving way tho... and yes its frustrating when that doesnt get returned..Theres only so much women can take before we say Enuff and need that time to focus on oursleves... Hw can we help our families if we oursleves are outta balance and all worn out from doing it ALL? My thoughts and prayers are with you, good luk..
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Old 07-08-2005, 03:00 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mia Gahdus
Thank you for your replies. I think it has really helped me figure out how to get over this 'obstacle' that I felt was getting in the way of my relationship.
I need to realize that there will ALWAYS be something that needs cleaning, and it's okay to let it be dirty for a moment.
My 2 yo dd knows how to put a garbage bag in the garbage pail!! A 2 yo should be learning how to play in the sand, swim in the lake, put together a puzzle, play with the dolls, etc. Not how to scrub the toilet, lol!

My 4 mo watches me and my 2 yo zooming about cleaning. She is already trying to crawl! She has no interest in sitting, she already gets up on her hands and knees and does the rocking back and forth motion.

The other 4 mo babies are still laying there, making cute little cooing noises, smiling, etc.
And my baby thinks it's time to go, go, GO! :LOL

It gets lonely not having another person here to share in the cool developments of the baby and 2 yo, kwim?
Sometimes I feel stupid for getting all excited about something they have done, and it's just me here. :)

My absolute favorite memory is walking into the bedroom and my 2 yo is playin her piano and singing just beautiful to her baby sister. The baby is looking at her with pure love, like she knew that song was just for her, a gift from her sister.
Have you considered keeping a journal of your daily life and what the kids are doing each day and how they are growing? When you children are grown you can give them a copy of it and let them know what life was like when they were small. They would also have a written record of childhood diseases and stuff that way too.
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Old 07-08-2005, 03:55 PM   #26
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I think there are more important things in life than cleaning it will get done. I take care of my family, play with my kids & then clean at night & I stay up late so I can have ME time. I know that will be hard on you because you have babies. don't be so hard on your self talk to your hubby & ask him if he can watch the children a couple of hours a week so you can have time to your self even if all you do is take a bath & read a book, you can't do everything take it easy. Right now I'm looking at a dirty floor & instead of doing the floors I'm here and it's ok to teach your children to sweep & put in trash bags it makes them stronger people. and your not alone we all love it when we see our children sing & play it's not stupid my kids are 13, 17,19,24 & when they are all sitting around playing a game or somthing together I just standing there watching & smiling.
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Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.
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