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Old 05-26-2007, 11:37 AM   #1
Mz. Beanie
 
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Post on another site. Oh Brother.

I am a member on a different sight where people post poems and stories and people can review them. Here is one I found and reviewed and the response to it. I think you will find it "interesting".




Powwow! Zeneagle5/23/07


Auditorium, high ceiling, echoes.Voices bouncing through thick, stale air, people ducking, play arrows zinging past ears.

Scabby kids' splatting into heaps, plump Aunty untangling scrawny limbs, patching owies. Refereeing well.

Children garbed; shorts, jeans, in handmade regalia. Kids, still kids, heaps of kids.


Uncle fat, effective. He strips regalia, meant for later ceremonies, counts all the parts,kids begin new heaps...floor is concrete, kids flexible, no harm done..

Mama, Papa nearby, a small teepee, offering music, pawn jewelry. Smiling, jovial. Family helping out.

Where are the dancers I came to see?

Oooooing and aaaaaaaing, holding up jewelry, shimmering in dusty light. Shiny, pretty. Admiring hand crafted work.

My dancing begins soon. Front row seat!

Drums tuned, me, impatient, greedy; want to see, hear all.

Goatskin, brain tanned, forms the percusive surface on massive ceremonial drum. Hand work, hard work.

High pitched wailing begins as smaller drums slowly begin, weaving, ramping magic.

Now. NOW! Dancers are attitude, power, charisma; headdresses gracefully moving, interwoven with gold,laser-focused personalities absorbing life beat of ceremonial drum.

Feet moving, giving:Shatters my greedy stone heart; I have come to feel, see,yearn; all begins swirling, moving swiftly.

Flowing feathers, headdresses gold and bright silver, chanting words I understand: Movements of millenium mesmerize me, all else has disappeared.

Drums softly, so softly, build: Great Goat-skin drum enters, thundering rhythm; The normal haze at powwow; rising from dust, fire....

Soft warm dust under bare feet, crimson prairie sun setting. Inside the circled teepees smoke from the central fire rises, blurring my sight, not my heart. Haze, fine dust drifts...

Feathers, bobbing ,weaving,flowing, point the dance. Gold shoulder harnesses no longer gaudy, simply as they have always been: Proper to the season. This dance is one of thanks, gratitude, to the spirits.

A six hole flute begins a haunting counterpoint to the rolling call of wild drummers...

Stamping, shuffling of endless generations of feet, clad in skins, had been, would be, forever pounding in my bloods. . ... the elders revolve in a lazy circle around the fire.

Dancers, dignified, choppy movement, small children-short plump legs moving in perfect unison with the earthsound of the drums and flutes:
...pathetic scrubby kids? Dignified, miniature dancers.

Others enter the circle, sleekly muscled, tremendously enduring, flirting with the rhythms that weave through all hearts.

Parents? Magnificent gods, a metamorphic flow: Courageous. Flexible. Magnificent.

No time but the now of the gods...

These are the plump jovial people selling jewelry? What happened....?




My Review:

My giving you "one star" is not that your poem needs a major revision as much as some of the terms and attitudes in this work. Terms like "High pitched wailing" " wild drummers..." " pathetic scrubby kids" I find not just offensive but propogates some the opinions and attitudes that native americans have fought against for hundreds of years.

Powwows are not ceremonies, they are a social gathering, and the drums are not ceremonial, nor are the songs.

I also noticed several times you mention fat...... chubby.... plump and jovial like natives are nothing more than santa clauses selling trinkets. (rolleyes)

In the beginning you mentioned the powwow being in an auditorium then later you mention" the elders revolve in a lazy circle around the fire." Holy crap!!! Did you all get out alive????



Here is her response to mine:

Hi Ima,
I am writing to you personally to tell you that you reacted just as I had hoped someone would. Beautiful review. Your critique is right on the mark. I wanted that out there to help others see their own prejudices.
Your answer was from your heart, as was my rotted piece.
I thank you for "seeing" from your heart. You made my day.
I have been to many "social gatherings" as I am a healer and needed when there is no REAL medical help to be found. I am so sorry that you are hurt, but I am also very grateful that you, of all who have read that prejudiced, bigoted piece, GOT IT!
Dr. Ross, Cheif Ehanamani of the Sundance Ceremonies gave me the name I have at the moment, Pejuta etc. I received it three years ago, in addition to the title of Green neck woman. I have been tatooed on the back of my neck in order to find me in a crowd easily. I look like every other white out there. But, not from the back. I am the odd looking one who patches up kids owies, who helps a very young fancy dancer regain his aplomb and overcome his own pain, to go on and acheive his goals.
I am asking to be a fan of yours, as I can see and feel and hear your heart leap off the page.
I want to follow your writing, learn more.
Thank you very much for your reply. I was not trying to win anything that is available here, but to make a point. I believe you are the only one who got it. But Hoboy, you got it.

Thank you.
zeneagle....

Last edited by Ima Humanbean; 05-26-2007 at 11:41 AM..
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Old 05-27-2007, 12:59 AM   #2
Gotz ta be me!
 
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wow.
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Old 05-27-2007, 10:34 AM   #3
The voices tell me...
 
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Why must I feel like that..why must I chase the cat?


"When I was young man I did some dumb things and the elders would talk to me. Sometimes I listened. Time went by and as I looked around...I was the elder".

Mr. Rossie Freeman
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Old 05-27-2007, 10:34 PM   #4
Lovin' life,
 
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I did a search on google. Here he is. He works for the Crazy Horse Monuement Park. He gives info to tourists and sells his books and stuff there.





Here is his web site, you can get a lot more if you google "ehanamani". www.ehanamani.com
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Old 05-28-2007, 12:20 PM   #5
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Anyone want some milk to go with the twinkies?
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Old 05-28-2007, 03:01 PM   #6
hello
 
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free speech.
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Old 05-29-2007, 01:30 AM   #7
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That read like some of the spam I get in my email...
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Old 05-29-2007, 04:03 PM   #8
that's not my name
 
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wow.
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Mussy by birth.....Native by the Grace of God.......


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Old 05-29-2007, 04:10 PM   #9
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Old 05-30-2007, 10:46 AM   #10
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Anyone want some milk to go with the twinkies?
According to a couple o' websites Ross is Santee Dakota.

http://www.ipl.org/div/natam/bin/browse.pl/A279
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