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Old 08-13-2005, 09:51 PM   #1
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Question what age is ok for dating?

I got eyes for an older man... is this okay??
We'll call him Max. Hes a traditional dancer from.. nevermind. I was kinda introduced to him through a mutual friend. Not set up-just coincidence. He lives about 2 hrs away. I was listening around and hes newly divorced, kids, etc. Later I asked him to two-step.After talking I learned he is generously older than me. Or so I'm led to believe-his oldest child is 15 so that makes him roughly 35-40ish, right? I'm 22 and my oldest is 1 1/2.
a) is age gap ok? (my parents are 13 yrs apart?)
b) is it ok if your closer in age to their KIDS than you are to them? And they are closer in age to your parents?

But for being my senior, he could jamm & damn! he was a very handsome man!
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Old 08-14-2005, 12:00 AM   #2
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Old 08-14-2005, 12:51 AM   #3
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Just make sure he's not your uncle.
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Old 08-14-2005, 01:01 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by badmaninc
Just make sure he's not your uncle.
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Old 08-14-2005, 01:11 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MishkomekinaakIkwe
I got eyes for an older man... is this okay??
We'll call him Max. Hes a traditional dancer from.. nevermind. I was kinda introduced to him through a mutual friend. Not set up-just coincidence. He lives about 2 hrs away. I was listening around and hes newly divorced, kids, etc. Later I asked him to two-step.After talking I learned he is generously older than me. Or so I'm led to believe-his oldest child is 15 so that makes him roughly 35-40ish, right? I'm 22 and my oldest is 1 1/2.
a) is age gap ok? (my parents are 13 yrs apart?)
b) is it ok if your closer in age to their KIDS than you are to them? And they are closer in age to your parents?

But for being my senior, he could jamm & damn! he was a very handsome man!
i know whatchu talkin bout sister...
you guys are bad... your bad bad... yeah theres some hot older men out there..this one traditional dancer..whos in golden age....*sigh*...and theres another one in golden age.....but i only keep that in my imagination...age doesnt matter... if you can handle that...younger guys are okay if theyre mature.....maybe ill ask that guy to owl dance ..didnt see him with a woman... and he was kinda lookin at me unless it was my imagination again...lol....
im kidding im tooo shyy
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Old 08-14-2005, 01:17 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by middle of the sky
i know whatchu talkin bout sister...
you guys are bad... your bad bad... yeah theres some hot older men out there..this one traditional dancer..whos in golden age....*sigh*...and theres another one in golden age.....but i only keep that in my imagination...age doesnt matter... if you can handle that...younger guys are okay if theyre mature.....maybe ill ask that guy to owl dance ..didnt see him with a woman... and he was kinda lookin at me unless it was my imagination again...lol....
im kidding im tooo shyy
Hey MOTS, you know a psychiatrist could make money just by readin your thread, there dude. Kiddin. If you hook up with somebody younger make sure he's not your nephew.
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Old 08-14-2005, 01:22 AM   #7
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ok mish just go for it...!
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Old 08-14-2005, 02:21 AM   #8
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TOTALLY GO FOR IT U ONLY LIVE ONCE!!
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Old 08-14-2005, 05:08 AM   #9
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When I was in my twenties.. I loved going out with guys in their 30's and especially early 40's. Guys my age were'nt really all that exciting. Too eager to sow oats and not really get to know each other... but then at 27 I met my now hubby who ended up being 23.. so I guess I ended up going the other direction...... But heck no, if you like him, you are'nt some teen that some old pervert is picking up to make himself feel like a stud.. then heck go for it! You'll know after a couple dates wether or not you want to continue seeing him anyhow.
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Old 08-14-2005, 05:50 AM   #10
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There is alot of factors involved here really lol. I've dated older women myself (I am also 22). First off, the kids will resent it due to you being so young no doubt. My mom is dating a man who is in his 30's, and she's 50, and I've almost came to physically manhandling the little fellow (I'm 6'7 260 lbs, he's 5'9 160 lbs or so), Especially if you come off as a "Parental figure" to the kids. 9 times out of 10, if your near the kids age, within say 10 years, they aren't having it.

If you just want to date him and have some fun its all good, but if you want it to become serious, these are all things ya gotta think about. As well as the fact that if your 22 and he's 35+, when your 50, he's going to be in his 70's. You've also got to concider the generation gap there, and compatability. If that isn't an issue, thats one plus to it. With me, every older woman I dated ended because we were alot different. I wanted to go to a concert, or out clubbing, and she wanted to stay home and watch movies, and got jealous thinking I might dance with others lol.
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Old 08-14-2005, 11:05 AM   #11
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See its too early to get serious! But whats the point of dating if you weren't looking for a Real Relationship in the first place, right? I'm sure neither of us wants to waste a bunch of time on BS (esp we live 2 hrs away from each other & the damn gas prices are WOW!) He's reciently divorced? So would I be a rebound? A Cute YOUNG rebound?
Geez the mind is a wonderful thing! You can talk yourself outta anything!!
But damn it! Hes a good lookin one!!

You ever post anything and get caught? I did one time with this hot grass dancer! OMG he called me up and told me he was gonna bust me out! WAH! Did he ever! His friend googled his name and the thread came up & there I was blabin about how he melts my butter!! ROFLMAO!

Moral: lets just pray he's not reading this & finds the connection...time to change my avatar!
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Old 08-14-2005, 11:49 AM   #12
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i think the age difference is just fine...so if he wasnt newly divorced id say go for it no questions asked lol the problem with newly divorced guys (i speak from experience...when i was 18 and dated a newly divorced 29yr old) is some of them compare everything you do to their ex wife...and THAT is annoying! others are just on the rebound and want to mess around with all the women they can and dont really care. so i say judge and see what kinda newly divorced guy he seems to be and THEN go for it lol
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When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and nothing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision. When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home."

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Old 08-14-2005, 12:36 PM   #13
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Apparently the divorce has taken four years... and he got everything, his ex didn't want or fight it
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Old 08-14-2005, 12:41 PM   #14
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Hmmmm that would be VERY unusual! and shouldn't have taken four years, then? ps.ps. If the ex's typically get 1/2 and you divorce twice...are you completely wiped out?
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Old 08-14-2005, 01:18 PM   #15
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i've seen it work, and i've seen it be a mess! just keep your eyes open and don't jump "HEART" first.
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Old 08-14-2005, 02:15 PM   #16
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Umm.. apparently you haven't been here long? LMAO! You missed my "baby daddy drama" phaze? I've been sooo mad at my ex that I couldn't think straight. I went through a phase where I questioned the authenticity of every male species! Criss I was nuts! I blamed testerone for everything. Ojibwesweetie, Blackbear, & LMDopey can tell you this! Oh and LMDopey can tell you he was respectful & very handsome too, she seem him at the pw!
So this is my first venture at dating again. I've come to realize not all men are NOT created equal. Kids come first. I want to eventually relax, find a nice gentleman who would like some companionship also.
Generally, I like em SOBER, Ojibwe, Singer or Dancer, prefer somewhat educated and NOT LIVING WITH THEIR MOM!
But is age gap a problem? I think before this I may have said "go for it" but that advice was for someone else. My parents were 13 yrs apart. But HONESTLY he's old enought to be my dad! I mean that in the most respectful way!!
My mum dates guys my age & it drives me nuts! Only cuz she finds really good looking ones & then I'm like-"ok your a boy toy & been wit my mom. Umm anyone know wheres the exit?!" I don't have any friends that currently date generously older/younger people. But I do have a friend that has a child with a guy who was... I think 23 and she was then 15? And now shes says "geez hes a sick-o"
Is society accepting age gaps? Does this have a great effect on personal relationships? Funny stares? Odd circumstances "This must be your daughter/son you were telling me about?"
I'd rather have input from all sides before I attempt something like this.
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Old 08-14-2005, 02:43 PM   #17
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OK, I have to chime in again. When I Started Dating My hubby i didnt know how old he was, we just clicked. I am the same way you are when it comes to the "dont waste my time if you arent looking for something to last" anyway, if it took four years for the divorce then i really dont think its a rebound thing. odds are that you wont be the first women he has dated since they seperated and filed divorce. The "is this your daughter or is this your dad thing, if the relationships worth it then this will actually be funny for you. I know from experience, and its not that he looks old, its that I look so young. I have a profile picture here taken on mothers day weekend, im 37. anyway, dont worry about all of this stuff, why miss out on maybe the best relationship in your life because of what others might think. please try it with this man, age really dont matter in this situation. if he got everything and his wife got nothing then it sounds as if she was irrsponsible in her ways and that he is mature and responsible man. it doesnt mean hes a bad guy if he got everything, the courts are very tough on things like that, he wouldnt get it if he didt deserve it and she didnt derserve it, or it wasnt hers to begin with. know what i mean?


ps. hows the baby doing?
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Old 08-14-2005, 05:06 PM   #18
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Oh my babies?! Ahh maybe I should start another thread! Everyone loves to blab about their babies!! I could go on forevers!

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Old 08-14-2005, 05:11 PM   #19
M...O...T...to the S!
 
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Wink

if it doesnt work out can i have his digits?..











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Old 08-14-2005, 08:32 PM   #20
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And for all the skeptics...if she didn't contest it...and wanted it that way (the divorce) then why in the HELL did it take 4 years???? shoulda been about a month?????
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