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Old 09-28-2004, 05:36 PM   #1
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What's the most Rezzed out, stereotypical Indian thing you've ever done?

I'd like to read some funny stories. Tell me what is the most rezzed out thing you or someone you know has ever done. You know, like your rez ride that only drives in 1st gear and you drove 4 hours to get to the pow-wow in it. That kind of stuff.

My step brother and his friend, who are both the epitome of rez life, of course don't have regular jobs. They got a job to do contracting work in Detroit, about 5 hours away, and were to be down there for two weeks. They had one beat up old rez ride, a 77 Cutlass with no radio and no muffler. Anyway, they take off down to Detroit with their clothes and their smokes. They have one tank of gas, and no money for food or gas. They light up a smoke, and realize that they don't have anymore matches or a lighter, and of course being a rez ride, the lighter inside didn't work. They couldn't afford the gas it would use up to pull off the freeway to get a book of matches, so what do they do? Being the rezzed out fools they are they decide to just chain smoke the ENTIRE way down to Detroit!

What's your story?
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Old 09-28-2004, 05:50 PM   #2
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Since I don't know how to drive I hire my neighbour to drive me and my kids to pow-wows, tho my driver is kinda too old now and one of my daughters has her own car, anywayz...we sometimes go to Kamloopa pow-wow, which is a big pow-wow up here in Canaduh. So it's kinda a big deal so my friend has these different cars yearly and this one year he has this little white car. It's small. Not even a trunk just that little place in the back to shove stuff and the front passenger seat is broken so this old spare tire is shoved behind the seat to keep it from falling completely back. That's where i'm sitting, shotgun. But we have to take the tire away to have room for stuff. After a 7 drive from Vancouver we get to the powwow gates and then you have to drive down a windy road and there's people all over, especially men. So I have to sit up and hold the seat up with one arm and pretend it's a normal seat not one that flies backward. And my arm is getting sore and I'm still trying to look kewl or whatever.
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Old 09-28-2004, 07:03 PM   #3
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Thumbs up

One summer when I was traveling with my aunt, uncle, and cousins to pow wows. Well, they had this white cargo van that had those big side windows, right. Well, one of the big windows broke and we didn't have the extra money to get it fixed right away. So, we had to drive to a pow wow with the black trash bags taped up where the window used to be. Now of course it had to be the grey duct tape so everyone could see. We did not have tinted windows so it was so obvious when we pulled up to the pow wow....man, me and my cousins hid down and told the uncle to park WAY in the back. THAT was embarassing!!!!
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Old 09-28-2004, 08:22 PM   #4
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Only time that pops into mah head is this one...

Us bridesmaids were runnin' on NDN time for a friends wedding.... Groom was at the church... Bride was on her way. AND we were still getting ready. Well, we finally finished... and we all jumped into the van. Stepped on it.. and headed to the wedding.

On our way there... we noticed the darn bumper was kinda about to fall off.. So we stopped to try and fix it.. It juss wouldn't stay put.. picture 6 ladies all dressed fancy.. tryna fix a bumper on da side of the road.. :Chatter Well... our last resort :Idea was to duct tape it on...

It worked.... :Thumbs We all made it to the wedding... and it was still very purdee!!
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Old 09-28-2004, 08:56 PM   #5
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This one time ....in band camp !?!? ayeez lol

About 2yrs ago ,mah bro's and two of mah sister's and mah self went hunting ,and we took mah dads truck (his pride and joy) lol

Anyhow here we were driving out in the woods (out in the boonies) lookin' for any deer's or moose, we didn't get any luck....

So we juss ended up going home ,but by the time we decided to go home ,it was already dark .....

As we were driving home ,taking the main highway.....all of a sudden the lights on the dash went out ,so did the head lights ,well.......we were about 20-25 mins away from home ,so what did we do..... ????
Goot thing we had a spot light .....lol ,one of mah bro's was holding up the spot light aaaaaall the way home ,lol

So imagine....this great big nice lookin' truck driving along the highway (goot thing there was no other cars) with this one big light on the roof of the truck......lmao

Goot thing mah dad was out of town for a few weeks *heehee* that gave us time to get the truck fixed (we all chipped in) lol ......we didn't get caught !

Aaah memories ....

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Old 09-28-2004, 10:19 PM   #6
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hmmmm.... well our kitchen sink is reparied with duct tape and bailing wire..
I had a car with a big enough hole in the floorboard that we coulda "flintstoned" it every day LOL! Also the springs were cut to make it a "low rider" ROFLMAO!!
Served fried balogna sandwiches with ketchup for lunch to my kid's friends once.
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Old 09-28-2004, 11:09 PM   #7
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Ok, this is true. And me and my brother still laugh about it, and my oldest kid. We was so poor, how poor was we? For lunch I packed my 5 yr old a rubberly old carrot and a piece of hard bannock. How sad. Maybe she drank water also.
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Old 09-29-2004, 09:06 AM   #8
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Great stories!

Everyone has some great stories...keep it up! Miss Nishnab and Siouxper buns are my favorites so far...I swear I'm really LMFAO....hilarious!
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Old 09-29-2004, 10:48 AM   #9
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A Few.....

When your ride gets rusty.....cover the rust with bumber stickers....

Don't like the way that dish turned out.......Just add Commodity Cheese....

Windshield wipers don't work..No problem just shoestring em.......

That shirt getting a little tight.....Do the classic knee stretch........

Phone off.....Put it in your kid's name....

Trying to get back to work that monday after Powwow.......

a. Make up a weak played out excuse (for the 10th time) and phone in.
b.Just snag up and live with your snag.
d.Race back and drive all night just to call out anyway.
e.Work? What's that?
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Old 09-29-2004, 11:15 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coyot_In_The_House
Windshield wipers don't work..No problem just shoestring em.......
:rofl2: :rofl2:

That's funny cuz I've EVEN done that! It was an emergency situation tho... We were driving home one snowy/rainy winter day..and... the wipers kept freezing up with chunks of ice. We didn't wanna stop.. so we juss kept reaching over to the wipers to snap the ice off.. we've done it many times.. :p one hand on the wheel... the other hand out the window... get what Imean... Anywho.. my cousin decides she gonna get the ice off from her side... damnit tho... she pulls the whole wiper off!! :Chatter It juss went flyin' in da air... We ended up having to stop anyway.. to repair the wiper.. with sum hockey tape, and a shoe string.


Juss to add to Coyotes list....

Hair a lil' greezeee.... tie it in a braid.. look all slick after.. :p
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Old 09-29-2004, 01:42 PM   #11
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well here's my story..

me and my friend were powwowin all summer and her car was about done!! LOL The car kept heating up so when we would cruise we would have to keep the heat on so the car wouldn't over heat. So here we were cruisin from powwow to powwow with the windows wide open and the heat full blast!! LOL
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Old 09-29-2004, 01:58 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss_Nishnab
:rofl2: :rofl2:

That's funny cuz I've EVEN done that! It was an emergency situation tho... We were driving home one snowy/rainy winter day..and... the wipers kept freezing up with chunks of ice. We didn't wanna stop.. so we juss kept reaching over to the wipers to snap the ice off.. we've done it many times.. :p one hand on the wheel... the other hand out the window... get what Imean... Anywho.. my cousin decides she gonna get the ice off from her side... damnit tho... she pulls the whole wiper off!! :Chatter It juss went flyin' in da air... We ended up having to stop anyway.. to repair the wiper.. with sum hockey tape, and a shoe string.


Juss to add to Coyotes list....

Hair a lil' greezeee.... tie it in a braid.. look all slick after.. :p
man thats funny about ur cuz pullin the wiper lol..i tried to good rep ya but i can't...lol newayz good story!!
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Old 09-29-2004, 06:09 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coyot_In_The_House
When your ride gets rusty.....cover the rust with bumber stickers....

Don't like the way that dish turned out.......Just add Commodity Cheese....

Windshield wipers don't work..No problem just shoestring em.......

That shirt getting a little tight.....Do the classic knee stretch........

Phone off.....Put it in your kid's name....

Trying to get back to work that monday after Powwow.......

a. Make up a weak played out excuse (for the 10th time) and phone in.
b.Just snag up and live with your snag.
d.Race back and drive all night just to call out anyway.
e.Work? What's that?
Hey bro, are you talking about us and charlie brown??? LMFAO!! Remember that van??? First day we bought it off this one dude, my cousin rear ends someone else on the freeway in buffalo on our way to Grand River...crushs the guys car in, but good ol' charlie brown didn't have a scratch!! LOL...another time, one of our other singers took the van keys home with him (same van) and we had to cut the ignition wires to start it so we ended up with a van that had a cardboard sunroof (got crazy at the 9), a passenger side door that was held closed with rope, 2 broken chairs and a bed that wouldn't close up, a sliding side door that was held by bailing wire and a drivers side door that wouldn't lock unless you opened the side window and stuck your arm in. And the most slamming sound system that we could afford!!! LMFAO!!!
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Old 09-29-2004, 06:57 PM   #14
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How about when you have important papers that need to be signed and turned back in and you get grease/food stains on them.....LOL
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Old 09-29-2004, 08:21 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nativemom
How about when you have important papers that need to be signed and turned back in and you get grease/food stains on them.....LOL
sounds like me my papers be all beat up with pizza stains on em!
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Old 09-29-2004, 10:04 PM   #16
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Old 09-30-2004, 01:09 AM   #17
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Umm lets see. This 1 time some of my friends were going out on a lil evening road trip, something on the side of the car was all messed up or something so they had to tie a rope onto the door and tie it on to this chicks hand to keep it from falling off, I guess he hand was turning blue..lol
Um, this one time a "few" friends, as well as myself, were going out to the bar in Alberta. Nobody could really get their own ride so we all decided to jump in my friend Jerrins car (ford focus). There were 3 ppl in the front, five in the back and two in the trunk. Shoulda seen the look on the ppls faces when they seen us opening up the trunk and had ppl getting out. Cheap stories..lol
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Old 09-30-2004, 12:16 PM   #18
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I forgot about this one...

We were coming back from this pow-wow up north...there were two cars of us...one a 2 door escort, and the other one was some beat up old something...can't even remember what it was. Anyway, the beat up old one got a flat tire, so we all pulled off to change the tire. First of all, we were on the side of a REALLY big hill, the ditch was HUGE, I mean it was like a valley. So we're trying to get the flat tire off, and after about 40 minutes of trying to get off the rusted bolts, one of the guys was like "Bring me the tire!" Instead of walking the tire back to him, one of the guys decides to roll the tire to him....sure enough, it rolled down the big ditch into the woods. It was night time, and the hill was huge, and the woods were deep. We lost the tire.

So then we had to pile all of us in the two door escort. In the back seat, on the bottom row was three INDIAN guys, I mean big Indian boys. The second layer on top of them was me, Melissa, and her mom. On top of us, was Archie, riding with his head out the sunroof. Then in the front, the driver, who didn't know how to drive a stick but she was the smallest person and so we could scooch the seat up really far. Then in the passenger seat was another big Indian boy, plus a girl sitting on top of him. Then, we had one in the trunk of this hatchback, on top of all our pow-wow stuff. We were 11 deep in a two door escort! We had to stop every 15 minutes so everyone could get out and stretch and wake up their fallen asleep feet! It was about an eight hour drive home, and there was no way we were making it home so we drove about an hour, found some Indian lady and she housed us for a week! Crazy stuff...good memories!
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Old 09-30-2004, 01:53 PM   #19
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lol..that's a good one...reminded me of when me, my mom, my aunt and young cousin went to whitefish bay pow-wow in 2003. It was a rented car and we were driving out of the rez on Sunday night and my mom didn't know how to turn the fan on or whatever because the windows were all fogged up and we couldn't see and we were busy wiping the windows and it was really fogged up and my mom's driving real slow and kinda swerving and there's a line up of cars behind us now. We have to pull over and a truck behind us stops and this man shows my mom how to turn the whatcha-ma-call-it on and we need to get gas so we can't find anything open and we're running on empty and we head into Falcon lake, a place we used to go camping as kids. And we are almost out of gas so we have to spend the night in a parking lot and wait for the gas place to open. I get out to stretch my legs cuz we're all kinda sitting up trying to sleep. When i come back to the car my little cousin is comfortably sleeping across the seat. I don't want to bug her so i walk around the area, find a washroom and then try to sleep on this really little bench on the other end of the parking lot. the northen lights were awesome. my aunt can't sleep either and she doesn't know what the hell happned to me. i walk back and try to sleep on the hood of the car. the man that helped us is parked next to us in his truck and he's snoring away. he stayed to make sure we were safe. i can see the horizon getting lighter and walk near the trees. the beautiful falcon lake is there. i walk to the beach and watch the sunrise and it brings back memories of the fun times we had as kids there. then we get our gas and we're on our way.
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Old 09-30-2004, 03:03 PM   #20
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maaaaan......that was some night ,middle !
really long night ......
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