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Old 11-10-2003, 02:08 PM   #1
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Question what would you do?

what would you do if your spouse didn't want to move other than where they were from. but the thing is the kids don't like it where they are from and like the other place. they don't want to atleast go half way with you and they get mad when you tell them that you don't like it out there where they are from.
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Old 11-10-2003, 03:37 PM   #2
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Re: what would you do?

Quote:
Originally posted by southerncloth
what would you do if your spouse didn't want to move other than where they were from. but the thing is the kids don't like it where they are from and like the other place. they don't want to atleast go half way with you and they get mad when you tell them that you don't like it out there where they are from.
This is written to be a bit confusing. Do you mean the kids do not want to go where the spouse wants to go? Do you ? Does he need to go there to make a living or is this only for personal preference. Do the both of you make decisions TOGETHER?
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Old 11-10-2003, 03:58 PM   #3
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My man tries to get me to move up to the Navajo rez. He knows not to push me, I'm far away enough from home as it is anyways, so he just lets it be. I guess I just got a good partnah, he loves my northern home too, even if the green grass gets too much for him sometimes.:p
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Old 11-10-2003, 04:06 PM   #4
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That's a sticky situation & i think it's a little unfair to you. I'm sure as a couple with a family you'd want to keep the families best interests at heart.
Like most of us who have moved away from "home" to give our families more opportunities or for whatever reason we moved, we know HOME will always be there. Hopefully your spouse can compromise & realize that you can always move back if they don't like it.

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Old 11-10-2003, 04:26 PM   #5
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Until they are 18 and are legal to move wherever they want.. they are in your care and love and go where YOU go. Let them cry and kick and scream, they are'nt old enough to understand fully why you have to move and kids only are concerned with themselves (this is natural) for the most part. If your hubby needs to move back to where you are from and you are ok with going back, then let the kids deal with it and go where they choose to go when they are old enough.
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Old 11-10-2003, 04:42 PM   #6
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Glad you aren't my mom!!!

We lived in a place that we really disliked...use to get into fights almost everyday & i was only in the 1st grade!!! Almost got kidnapped, it was a sad & depressing area.....we lasted for maybe 6months until my parents decided it was best for the FAMILY to move.
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Old 11-10-2003, 05:10 PM   #7
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My Dad had to move several times with his job even though we (the kids) did not want to move. The moves had varying degrees positive and negative effects on us but we were the kids and had no say about it. It affected each of us in a different way due to our differing ages. It was worse for teenagers because of established friends and patterns in school, not quite so bad for the youngest.
After a point and after a certain age, I chose not to go along and I am very glad I made that decision.whataya gonna do?
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Old 11-10-2003, 05:51 PM   #8
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Sticky situation - my mother always told me that you have to do what is best for the family whether it is financial or whatever the reason. She also had always impressed upon me and my brothers the importance of making mistakes, because without them you can't grow as a person.
So, they would never know if the move will be good or bad, if they don't give it a try first. Hopefully it will all work out. The kids aren't going to be happy. I wouldn't want to be uprooted either. That's life, you know?

Sending my best.....
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Old 11-10-2003, 06:15 PM   #9
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Thumbs up

If I were married I would have to be in love because dayumb I wouldn't just marry any old chick. So I would be wanting to make her happy and if she doesn't like my city then we'd talk about where we could be happy together. Not just me not just her but the both of us.
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Old 11-10-2003, 09:43 PM   #10
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wow..that kinda sounds familiar. Im far away from home too, and its been about two years since ive been back. i would love to move back and be around my people, but my husband doesnt want to move (we live on his home rez). my kids wouldnt mind moving back home, but i dont know about his kids. I guess i love this guy so much, that even though i do get homesick alot lately, i stick around this place.
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Old 11-11-2003, 12:10 AM   #11
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Question why?

so you want to move? and he doesnt? and the kids dont want to move niether?
I am sort of mixed up on what you wrote?talk it over with each other and maybe come up with a plan.
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Old 11-11-2003, 02:01 AM   #12
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i live in a place that i dont want to be right now. i moved here for my husbands job....but i dont feel like im changing anything here....so next summer im movin to nyc to go to school and live and when my hubby's job is over, hell come and live w/me.;) i dont think that anyone should be unhappy for a minute! u can turn things around and compromise where it can suit the both of u.:)
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Old 11-12-2003, 02:10 PM   #13
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What i was trying to say is that i am going to school and trying to get my teaching degree and he doesn't like stay here where i am from until i finish. he says he wants to go back then when he does all he says is he misses us. then he moves back for a while but then complains about everything about being down here. he just keeps telling me to transfer to another college closeer to his home but i am almost done with school. he also says yes you need to finish school. then on the other hand when his father tells him to do something he will do it. but when i suggest something he will say no. i told him that i have to get my degree and finish school before i move anywhere. my mother inlaw hates me for what reason i have no idea. nothing i do is good enough for her. everybody just says she has to get use to you but we have been married for 3years now. i just don't know what to do about him anymore. i just start falling behind in school because i worry about this whlole ordeal.
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Old 11-12-2003, 02:22 PM   #14
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southerncloth, until I saw your location and your tribe, I kinda thought you could have been my soon to be ex. :Chatter we went through a similar thing and couldn't resolve the issue. I hope you both can find a solution that works for both of you. I wish you all the luck.
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Old 11-12-2003, 10:11 PM   #15
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Stay where you are and finish that degree!!! If you transfer, you will lose credits and it will take you longer AND it will COST YOU MORE. Also, having a degree in education will be beneficial in any location - it was education? I don't want to hit that back arrow - anyway. You will be helping your family more by finishing what you've started and you will be happier with yourself as well. THAT carries over into every other part of your life......

Things will work out one way or another. Good luck.
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Old 11-12-2003, 10:21 PM   #16
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Talking LOL....

I havent heard of too many ladies moving to where ever there men are from...at least not around here. I know a TON of guys that just up and take off to where ever their women are......But I would NEVER think to leave the general region...I like it here in the northwest......What can I say?...I'm just stubborn. But I think you should keep up with your studies...a degree would on benifit the family as a whole. Goot luck!!! :)
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