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Old 02-26-2010, 12:23 PM   #21
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Maybe...but probably not. And if I found out it was unprotected sex? Not only no, but h*ll no!

But then, some people have "open" relationships.
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Old 03-01-2010, 05:30 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kiyaanii mom View Post
Nope, cuz it wouldn't happen....

First time he cheated... I MIGHT forgive.....
Second time.... he is out !!! SEE YA.....
Kiyannii,

You know my mrs. Neither of us would tolerate even one mistake. My hats off to ya if you MIGHT forgive....
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Old 03-01-2010, 06:30 PM   #23
Ugh. As. If.
 
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I think it's good there is feedback from both men and women. I have another question-all in the interest of keeping this topic going.

If you don't set standards or expectations and communicate these clearly to your significant other, can you really place all the blame on him/her for cheating?

Your thoughts?
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Old 03-01-2010, 07:19 PM   #24
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Someone who has cheated will do it again if you forgive them right then and there.
the only what to make sure they don't do it again is to see how they act when you find out.
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Old 03-02-2010, 12:22 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grits & Beans View Post
I think it's good there is feedback from both men and women. I have another question-all in the interest of keeping this topic going.

If you don't set standards or expectations and communicate these clearly to your significant other, can you really place all the blame on him/her for cheating?

Your thoughts?
I think in western society the default expectation is monogamy/fidelity so it shouldn't be necessary to overtly state that that is what is expected.

But...if there are problems in an relationship...they are rarely one-sided. Lack of communication in other areas can and does lead to infidelity. Is it "your fault" that your spouse cheats on you? No. But that doesn't mean that you didn't contribute to the situation.

That being said..."sex ain't love & love ain't sex," and (imo) sometimes monogamy/fidelity is over-rated and is elevated to the end-all and be-all of a relationship.

Just my thoughts.
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Old 03-02-2010, 12:41 PM   #26
Ugh. As. If.
 
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oops




double post





What u lookin at? lol

Last edited by Grits & Beans; 03-02-2010 at 12:45 PM..
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Old 03-02-2010, 12:42 PM   #27
Ugh. As. If.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RDNKJ View Post
I think in western society the default expectation is monogamy/fidelity so it shouldn't be necessary to overtly state that that is what is expected.

But...if there are problems in an relationship...they are rarely one-sided. Lack of communication in other areas can and does lead to infidelity. Is it "your fault" that your spouse cheats on you? No. But that doesn't mean that you didn't contribute to the situation.

That being said..."sex ain't love & love ain't sex," and (imo) sometimes monogamy/fidelity is over-rated and is elevated to the end-all and be-all of a relationship.

Just my thoughts.
right on!

ideally, you should accept responsibility for your actions. and if you were cheated on the last thing you want to do is internalize it and drive yourself crazy. that will just lead to s**t that leads to more s**t etc...
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Old 03-02-2010, 12:59 PM   #28
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Old 03-02-2010, 02:36 PM   #29
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Anybody in favor of reverting back to the old days when we could have as many wives as we could provide for???


*L
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Old 03-02-2010, 03:41 PM   #30
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Oh my God NO!!!!
Once would be a deal breaker for me..
After a few choice words,i'd have to show him the door and kick his arse on the way out!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 03-03-2010, 12:31 AM   #31
...more than a feeling...
 
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Old 03-15-2010, 12:50 PM   #32
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I wuld forgive and forget but move on!!.lol..I can say I have been there and done that and don't need to do it again. And like somoene said about it being both parties contributing to the realtionship, I can see that happening as it had happened in my past, its not just his fault but mine also giving him the insecurity feeling.lol. I wouldnt take him back though. Once a cheater always a cheater.

p.s I didnt cheat to give him insecurities. I just had a guy friend that I talked to and he took it as cheating or trying to.lol
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