[storyteller]

Thanksgiving Day my sister-in-law broke
I'll tell you the story but it wasn't a joke
She stood at the stove, you know, frantically cooking
And her mean-azz husband stood there, just looking
Every effort he looked at with scorn
Then he asked "where the hell is my corn?"
He was hungry and he said ten things were wrong
And that was the moment that changed the whole song
That woman, she stopped and she slowly turned
When she was distracted the food slowly burned
Looking at her husband she shivered with anger
We all watched as it quickly deranged her
The dinner plates she grabbed one by one
And across the room the plates she flung
Some of the pieces were stuck in the walls
The forks and the knives she threw down the halls
The family never even sat down to the table
Not one bite was eaten, nobody was able
They put on their coats and ran out the door
Abandoning ship for the grocery store
This story is true but its 20 years old
We all laugh now every time it is told.

[Spiritflight]

Today at leisure group I wrote a Christmas rhyme
to be read when all getting fed with some cookies and cake

a little party for some special people in need
but gotta buy those sweets on shelves, not shared free

the social workers asked some christmas "elves" to contribute
with some songs, poetry or some other mental food

so I had a quick idea to write down that funny rhyme
for the pleasure of all when we sit and dine

however thanksgiving day is not known where I live
but Christmas day is the one where people give

and there I'll go and spend some time with people I sorta know
and read out my rhyme

[windanncer]

My boss stuck his head in the door
at work today to laughingly implore,
"why are you here? no need for strife.
all I can think is, you must not have a life"

I stared and laughed back at him
and said what about YOU?
Say, who has no life?
You are here too!!

[windanncer]

Good bye November.
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
Saying hello to December
who shows up tomorrow!

[Spiritflight]

Today feeling ill from some ice cold chill
or maybe a cough spreading a virus

can't shove it off maybe got it on the bus
have to think of some natural medication

to get that throat ache shrink, also the inflammation
was lucky for many years not to catch any cold

can not think of any medication to ease the hurt
and I was told to keep warm all over

I may would like some lemon curd
and for good luck some 4 leafs clover

some new sensation could be to warm underneath
a pile of teddy bears

good that I am not shaking have no shiver either
at least I don't have to fight a fever

[wardancer]

And so Thanksgiving has come and went
also Black Friday , and our money is spent
and over the weekend Christmas season arrives
the decorations go up , what a surprise
we hang all the lights , the icicle kind
outside in the cold , till I've lost my mind
Then it's back in the house warm as you please
and Eyes says "Let's put up our trees"
Now putting up trees is plural don't you see ?
not just 1 or 2 and not even 3 !
Last year we went to the after christmas sale
and she kept buying stuff till I started to wail !
so this year we have an abundance , how devine !
we kept putting up trees till we reached number NINE !
We put up our main living room tree
A beautiful tree of 7 & 1/2 feet.........(1)
Decorated up it looks mighty sweet
that is just the beginning you see
now time for 3 - 6 foot trees............(2,3,4)
1 in each corner , that's where they'll fit
but oh , don't worry , we're not done with it !
we have a 3' to go on the table.........(5)
it's for the Grand kids , each bulb with a label !
A 28 incher for each end table..........(6,7)
if you think we're done yet , it's only a fable !
a 6' tree in our bedroom is nice.........(8)
it's like having a tree , just for the mice !
Oh and the guest room has it's very own.....(9)
even though it's in there all alone !
So the first of December is right here today
and I'm so tuckered out I'm hittin' the hay !

[Spiritflight]

Oh no all them trees
would you charge some christmas fees

for people to come in and see
all them many forest trees

I wonder if I even put up one
being alone christmas is no more fun

out of general society leaves
option for a variety

when it says if two people meet
in the name of Jesus

he is their but what if just one alone
is happy having no cold feet

should he grab the phone
to randomly talk if he pleases

to random people and tell them about the throne
of sweet baby Jesus

oh happy time of Christmas
I'll still be fine in this mess

[windanncer]

Originally Posted by wardancer

And so Thanksgiving has come and went
also Black Friday , and our money is spent
and over the weekend Christmas season arrives
the decorations go up , what a surprise
we hang all the lights , the icicle kind
outside in the cold , till I've lost my mind
Then it's back in the house warm as you please
and Eyes says "Let's put up our trees"
Now putting up trees is plural don't you see ?
not just 1 or 2 and not even 3 !
Last year we went to the after christmas sale
and she kept buying stuff till I started to wail !
so this year we have an abundance , how devine !
we kept putting up trees till we reached number NINE !
We put up our main living room tree
A beautiful tree of 7 & 1/2 feet.........(1)
Decorated up it looks mighty sweet
that is just the beginning you see
now time for 3 - 6 foot trees............(2,3,4)
1 in each corner , that's where they'll fit
but oh , don't worry , we're not done with it !
we have a 3' to go on the table.........(5)
it's for the Grand kids , each bulb with a label !
A 28 incher for each end table..........(6,7)
if you think we're done yet , it's only a fable !
a 6' tree in our bedroom is nice.........(8)
it's like having a tree , just for the mice !
Oh and the guest room has it's very own.....(9)
even though it's in there all alone !
So the first of December is right here today
and I'm so tuckered out I'm hittin' the hay !

Tree after tree after tree after tree
Pictures you must post for us to see!!
Must be a magical scene
Lights and icicles among all the green!

And a tree for the mice?
Makin' their Christmas mighty nice!
Tell me you have one for the horses!
You wouldn't leave them out of course(s) !!

And if you do all that,
You know you have to have one for the cat!
Don't forget me, yelps the dog.
And don't think I'll settle for just a log!

I don't think it would be at all absurd
To include 1 or 2 for the bird!
Counting them up, that's only 5 more
I'm sure you and Eyes can still get in the door!

[Spiritflight]

Another thought
perhaps if you brought

the whole house into the woods
build it up, stuff it with goods

and then go and decorate
all them needle trees outside

for god's sake
do it right

a candle here a glitter there
some shiny balls and on top
(make sure they don't crack nor pop)

colored sledges and a rendeer
don't forget the hedges

make them shine and sparkle too
hang up some socks and a shoe

maybe it shocks to also put out a kangaroo
and surprise them little mice

have them hide inside
the animal's sack

to have it warm, the sack is wide
put a christmas hat on the kangaroo

some lametta and give him a didgeridoo
invite some sheep and shepards

and maybe also some leopards too
get your guitar and play some tunes

christmas guests from afar
can rest and sit in your rooms

could invite Lady Mary and her man
while she still has to carry and then

feed them all, people, shepards, kings short or tall
maybe you could try to play the didgeridoo

some christmas songs whatsoever
yeah sounds crazy but also clever

trying out something new
funny time with a few

however, the cow says moo
got left out, shouldn't do

and don't be tooo loud
in that holy night
and everything will be alright

[wardancer]

Christmas is not a christian holiday !
They have just adopted that way
twisted it to make it fit
but it's not christian , not one bit !
The Sami people , they are the ones
with their daughters and their sons
they celebrate this winter season
It is all a winter tradition
The reindeer and the sleigh
bells jingling and Santa on the way
His big red suit
his bag of loot
These things don't have a christian brand
It's indigenous to the Sami's land
So they're the ones that own this season
unless you can think of a better reason !

[Spiritflight]

Just to mention
putting up a needle tree
they say it was a
german invention

[wardancer]

The Christians conquered many lands
but bowed to the peoples demands
so instead of banning their traditional ways
they re-told stories of how it plays
Hey , I've read that book front to back
there's one thing that it lacks
no mention there of Santa Clause
or elves or reindeer , and that's because
rather than lose their foreign captives
they keep them happy with familiar festives
and that my friends is the true worry
what's next in line for christian glory ?

[wardancer]

I am a bit of a history buff
so finding this was not even tough !
History of Christmas Trees - Christmas - HISTORY.com

[Spiritflight]

And also this
a german tradition is
what was the cause of December 6th
Saint Nikolause?

We like to remember that
in old days a man with a hat
walked the village ways with a lamp in his hand
at night and he might
it says he liked to make
some poor kiddies happy
he made them wooden toys and maybe a cappy
and at night to December 6th
he plays christmas daddy
for boys and chicks

In real I think he was a night watchman
who walked the villages and back then
he put them toys
into the shoes I feel
people left infront of their houses

in the morning he observed them kiddies joys
for the women he may even left some blouses
so or similar the story got told
a nice treat to unfold for the poor for sure

[gilisi]

I like pie That is all
from inside the fridge I hear it call

While I reinforce the boards
crawling round under the floor

I think of my pie and it helps me through
While there is so much to do

finished the walls tape n texture as well
And today when I'm laying down tile I'll yell

to my son as he goes into the kitchen
Hey..that pie is mine! this is my mission!

You've had a whole pie all to yourself
now just think of your ol dad's health

save that last piece, that's all I ask
and visions of pie take me to my next task

[Spiritflight]

A mean old witty remark
don't read or only in the dark

it shows how a donkey goes
get on donkeys back
with a long stick but first
give him water for his thirst

and put something on the stick
some food he likes to eat
you see, that's the trick
it will get him of his feet

hold the stick infront of his nose
he tries to reach and off he goes

[Spiritflight]

Today I am sick like never been
in a long time got a cold like never seen
but I am fine, getting old

coughing and sneezing
and outside it's freezing cold
well, not freezing perhaps
but I wonder how I am still breathing

needed to go to get some food and medications
no need to ponder if any relations
or friends
would get that for me and hence

I went out to get it myself
should really stay in bed all day
but how boring is that, no way

got no one to ask for that sort of help
gotta stay strong and hope it's not wrong
to get up and out running errands amongst the crowd
unexpected noise hurts my ears, it's so loud

my runny nose is burning like fire
glad there's no fever to even get higher
by the end of next week I hope it's all better
must adjust the medical dose

gotta play same way as any usual day
to distract my mind and writing a letter
wondering if I ever find what I need
that would be a good companion indeed

additionally a home made brew of water and onion
and a bit of honey against the cough
and on my sofa a happy furry toy bunny
laughs at me, okay, I'm off

[wardancer]

Gilisi ,
It was not me that took your pie !
I saw it all , I can not lie
It was that boy , that big one there
he ate that pie sitting on that chair
He waited till you were busy
went so fast it'd make you dizzy
it was to the fridge that he flew
and when he turned , Oh I knew
he had gotten the last slice on a plate
chowed it down , no care for his fate
Cause he knows Dad would never be mad
if he looked at him with his eyes all sad
Mom will say"don't yell at him"
"He needed that pie , that boy's so slim"
so you just wait another day
when the next pie might come your way !

[storyteller]

This year I am against Christmas trees
Cutting them down in twos and threes
Till thousands are chopped and dragged inside
Covered with lights and left to die

I didn't always feel this way
Changed my mind just yesterday
When big men came with truck and saws
To enforce the city "dead tree" laws

They took down seven trees on my land
The stumps are there and I can't stand
The trees DID have a shady past
But they were friends until the last

Until a hoard of hungry pests
Ate their way from East to West
The Asian Ash Borer Bug
Killed my trees and didn't shrug

I might get a Christmas tree in a pot
With dirt and roots--give it a shot
In the Spring plant it I will
Many holes I've got to fill

[wardancer]

"The Asian Ash Borer Bug
Killed my trees and didn't shrug."
And here too , they did the same
made my trees look mighty lame.
But every cloud has it's silver lining
I remember last year my son-in-law whining
needing wood to heat the house
man that guy is such a louse
so this year I cried for help
come cut these trees you little whelp
so he came begrudgingly
brought the whole family
and we cut wood into the 3rd day
3 saws a going , no time to play
every ash tree in our lots
now so many big bare spots
but they have enough wood for this year and next
They won't get cold , and I won't be vexed !
cause he is such a lazy lump
I'd like to leave him at the dump
But the father of her older 2
brought a skid steer and a trailer too
4 big loads they took to their home
and cleaned the brush,piled in a dome
and no wind so we fired the pile
burned it all to ashes after a while
now my worries are doubly eased
my grandchildren warm and my wife is pleased
she tends to worry about trees that are dead
falling on the horses head !