Register Groups Members List Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Forum Home - Go Back > Off Topic > Chit Chat > Jokes and Humor 5 questions..... 5 questions.....

Reply LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 08-11-2004, 03:23 PM   #1
is lost in reality...
 
50cal's Avatar
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
50cal has a reputation beyond repute50cal has a reputation beyond repute
50cal has a reputation beyond repute50cal has a reputation beyond repute50cal has a reputation beyond repute50cal has a reputation beyond repute50cal has a reputation beyond repute50cal has a reputation beyond repute50cal has a reputation beyond repute50cal has a reputation beyond repute50cal has a reputation beyond repute50cal has a reputation beyond repute50cal has a reputation beyond repute50cal has a reputation beyond repute50cal has a reputation beyond repute50cal has a reputation beyond repute50cal has a reputation beyond repute50cal has a reputation beyond repute50cal has a reputation beyond repute50cal has a reputation beyond repute50cal has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: where no buffalo roam, but the prairie dogs do.....
Posts: 9,083
Credits: 404.87
Savings: 1.00
5 questions.....

The top five questions that men fear…

1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat?
4. Do you think she is prettier than I am?
5. What would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e. tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.


Question # 1: What are you thinking about?
The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you."

This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:
a. I sure could use a blowjob right now.
b. Football.
c. Baseball.
d. How fat you are.
e. How much prettier she is than you.

(Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!")


Question # 2: Do you love me?
The proper response is: "YES!" or if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear!" Inappropriate responses include:

a. Oh yeah, **** loads.
b. Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
c. That depends on what you mean by love (Clinton's response).
d. Does it matter?
e. Who, me?

Question # 3: Do I look fat?
The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Among the incorrect answers are:

a. Compared to what?
b. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
c. A little extra weight looks good on you.
d. I've seen fatter.
e. That depends on what you mean by fat (Clinton's response).

Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than I am?
Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!"
incorrect responses include:

a. Yes, but you have a better personality.
b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner.
c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age.
d. Not prettier, just pretty in a different way.
e. Could you repeat the question? I was just thinking about how good she'd be in bed.

Question # 5: What would you do if I died?
A definite no-win question. (The real answer, of course, is "Buy a Corvette."). No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along the these lines:

WOMAN: Would you get married again?
MAN: Definitely not!

WOMAN: Why not-don't you like being married?
MAN: Of course I do.

WOMAN: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
MAN: Okay, I'd get married again.

WOMAN: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face) MAN: Yes, I would.

WOMAN: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
MAN: Where else would we sleep?

WOMAN: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?
MAN: Well, that would seem like the proper thing to do.

WOMAN: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
MAN: No, she couldn't use them. She's left-handed.
__________________


...And shephards we shall be. For thee my lord, for thee. Power hath descended forth from thy hand. That our feet may swiftly carry out thy command. So we shall flow a river forth to thee. And teeming with souls shall it ever be. E Nomini Patri, E Fili, E Spiritu Sancti.
50cal is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 08-11-2004, 07:32 PM   #2
RootDiggrHucklebrryPicker
 
yakama~wanapum's Avatar
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
yakama~wanapum has a brilliant futureyakama~wanapum has a brilliant futureyakama~wanapum has a brilliant futureyakama~wanapum has a brilliant futureyakama~wanapum has a brilliant futureyakama~wanapum has a brilliant futureyakama~wanapum has a brilliant futureyakama~wanapum has a brilliant future
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: White Swan,WA
Posts: 132
Credits: 0.00
Savings: 0.00
Lightbulb

You are one with a lot of thoughts on your mind! especially dirty ones! aye only joking!
__________________
**National Indian Days Celebration & Pow wow**
September 17-19, 2004
White Swan, Washington
Hope to see you all there! Later days Natives!
yakama~wanapum is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 08-11-2004, 08:53 PM   #3
ROCKIN' THE FREE WORLD
 
Thumper's Avatar
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
Thumper has a reputation beyond reputeThumper has a reputation beyond repute
Thumper has a reputation beyond reputeThumper has a reputation beyond reputeThumper has a reputation beyond reputeThumper has a reputation beyond reputeThumper has a reputation beyond reputeThumper has a reputation beyond reputeThumper has a reputation beyond reputeThumper has a reputation beyond reputeThumper has a reputation beyond reputeThumper has a reputation beyond reputeThumper has a reputation beyond reputeThumper has a reputation beyond reputeThumper has a reputation beyond reputeThumper has a reputation beyond reputeThumper has a reputation beyond reputeThumper has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: ALBUQUERQUE, NM
Posts: 552
Credits: 0.00
Savings: 0.00
that was goot.... laughed the whole time
__________________
if i could change i would, take back the pain i would. retrace every wrong move that i made i would. stand up and take the blame i would. i would take all my shame to the grave
KEEP ON ROCKIN' IN THE FREE WORLD!
WHAT'S 5'8 200lbs and HARD ALL OVER?
how come everytime i turn around someone is speaking spanish to me? this is new
HONOR THY CHILDREN
Thumper is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 08-13-2004, 03:20 PM   #4
Tiny Tot Dancer
 
ndn_pride's Avatar
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
ndn_pride is on a distinguished road
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Ponca City, Ok
Posts: 36
Credits: 0.00
Savings: 0.00
how true it is
ndn_pride is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Sponsored Links
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
fully beaded yoke questions Suzizila Buckskin Dancing 9 08-03-2005 05:39 PM
more outfit component questions. itokasniye Straight Dancing 11 09-26-2003 04:32 PM
Alot of questions for y'all out there... AsdzaanNeez74 Cloth Dancing 6 08-29-2002 04:35 PM
Jingle Dance Give Away Questions Nagi Jingle Dancing 1 01-08-2002 02:49 PM
Few Questions... DreamsOfEagles Fancy Feather Dancing 4 07-26-2001 12:16 AM

    

Join the online community forum celebrating Native American Culture, Pow Wows, tribes, music, art, and history.

Join PowWows.com Today!

Your Guide to Native American Pow Wows Since 1996

Register For Free

Enjoy the benefits of being a member of PowWows.com!

Join our Native American online community focused on Pow Wow singing, dancing, crafts, Native American music, Native American videos, and more.

Add your Pow Wow to our Calendar

Share your photos and videos

Play games, enter contests, and much more!






New Threads

Pow Wow Calendar Search

 
Month: Year:

Location:
Facebook Profile Images

Videos

Featured Articles

Dance Styles

Crafts

Gallery