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Old 03-15-2017, 12:13 PM   #21
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Stumbeld 1980 over that text in German

Unified Field Theory
In the beginning there was Aristotle,
And objects at rest tended to remain at rest,
And objects in motion tended to come to rest,
And soon everything was at rest,
And God saw that it was boring.

Then God created Newton,
And objects at rest tended to remain at rest,
And objects in motion tended to remain in motion,
And energy was conserved
And momentum was conserved
And matter was conserved,
And God saw that it was conservative.

Then God created Einstein,
And everything was relative,
And fast things became short,
And straight things became curved,
And the universe was filled with inertial frames,
And God saw that it was relatively general,
but some of it was especially general.

Then God created Bohr,
And there was the principle,
And the principle was quantum,
And all things were quantified,
But some things were still relative,
And God saw that it was confusing.

Then God was going to create Ferguson,
And Ferguson would have unified,
And he would have fielded a theory,
And all would have been one,
But it was the seventh day,
And God rested,
And things at rest tend to remain at rest.
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Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace.
(Reinhold Niebuhr, but the origin is debated)
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Old 03-15-2017, 12:56 PM   #22
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The error and the consequences

The error and the consequences

Suppose you did an damn stupid error.
Question: Consequences for your professional future?
Answer: Depends on your salary.


1. Up to 1,500 $ Stupid a......e. Dismissed without notice

2. 2,000 $ – 2,499 $ Hard hitting dressing down, staff appraisal ,written warning and filing in the personal file

3. 2,500 $ - 2,999 $ Hard hitting dressing down

4. 3,000 $ – 3,499 $ Dressing down

5. 3,500 $ – 3,999 $ Friendly advice but please to be more carefully

6. 4,000 $ – 5,999 $ Your mistakes are calmly left ignored

7. 6,000 $ – 9,999 $ In principle you do non’ t make errors. They are now called unconventional problem solving strategies or personal work style

8. 10,000 $ - 19,999 $ Your error is executed without rebuke immediately. He is exhausted by those according to point 1-5 in this list

9. 20,000 $ - unlimited Your error is declared as new basic maxim of the company. Do to your superhuman Geniality you will be honored; praised and excelled in every possible manner. There will be a Life-size statue erected on the company site. Of course your salary will be increased by 30%.


I knew only a German version. I hope the translation is sufficient.
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Those who do know do not write and those who write may not know. Frank W. Louis, No such Agency

True peace between nations will only happen when there is true peace within people’s souls.
Black Elk

“Tell me, and I will listen.
Show me, and I will understand.
Involve me, and I will learn.”
Lakota Proverb

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace.
(Reinhold Niebuhr, but the origin is debated)

Last edited by Broken Arrow; 03-15-2017 at 01:02 PM..
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Old 03-15-2017, 12:57 PM   #23
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A German official does not accept anything, not even reason.
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Those who do know do not write and those who write may not know. Frank W. Louis, No such Agency

True peace between nations will only happen when there is true peace within people’s souls.
Black Elk

“Tell me, and I will listen.
Show me, and I will understand.
Involve me, and I will learn.”
Lakota Proverb

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace.
(Reinhold Niebuhr, but the origin is debated)
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Old 03-17-2017, 01:14 AM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wardancer View Post
I know you all will appreciate this then ! LOL I wish it translated to German !I love this woman's stories !
She's hilarious!! I've never heard of her, but this had me laughing until y sides ached.
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Old 03-17-2017, 02:30 PM   #25
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Three engineering students stand together and discuss the possible developers of the human body.

The first one says: “That was a mechanical engineer. Look at all the joints.”

The second one replies: “No it was an electrical engineer. The nerve system has thousands of electrical connections.

The last one says:" In reality, it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a sewage pipeline through an amusement center? "
__________________
Those who do know do not write and those who write may not know. Frank W. Louis, No such Agency

True peace between nations will only happen when there is true peace within people’s souls.
Black Elk

“Tell me, and I will listen.
Show me, and I will understand.
Involve me, and I will learn.”
Lakota Proverb

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace.
(Reinhold Niebuhr, but the origin is debated)
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Old 03-17-2017, 04:28 PM   #26
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First Lecture in Mathematics

For those of you who like mathematics and for those, who are afraid of mathematics. Usually we should find just the other way round, ending by the simple equation. This art comes easier to my than bead designs.

The translation could be better. Ok, writing and reading here might hopefully improve my english slowly.

 photo First Lecture in applied Mathematics-001.jpg

 photo First Lecture in applied Mathematics-002.jpg
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Those who do know do not write and those who write may not know. Frank W. Louis, No such Agency

True peace between nations will only happen when there is true peace within people’s souls.
Black Elk

“Tell me, and I will listen.
Show me, and I will understand.
Involve me, and I will learn.”
Lakota Proverb

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace.
(Reinhold Niebuhr, but the origin is debated)
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Old 03-17-2017, 05:19 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Broken Arrow View Post
For those of you who like mathematics and for those, who are afraid of mathematics. Usually we should find just the other way round, ending by the simple equation. This art comes easier to my than bead designs.

The translation could be better. Ok, writing and reading here might hopefully improve my english slowly.

 photo First Lecture in applied Mathematics-001.jpg

 photo First Lecture in applied Mathematics-002.jpg
Eek , I think my brain has fried !!!
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Old 03-17-2017, 06:48 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Broken Arrow View Post
 photo First Lecture in applied Mathematics-001.jpg

 photo First Lecture in applied Mathematics-002.jpg

LMAO! Why just say 1 + 1 = 2, when you've had trig, calc and linear.

I did have to check eq 7 with Mathematica, LOL. It's been a few years since I've done limits.

To clarify for folks: !0 = 1 is equation 9.
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Last edited by OLChemist; 03-17-2017 at 06:51 PM..
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Old 03-17-2017, 06:52 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Broken Arrow View Post
Three engineering students stand together and discuss the possible developers of the human body.

The first one says: “That was a mechanical engineer. Look at all the joints.”

The second one replies: “No it was an electrical engineer. The nerve system has thousands of electrical connections.

The last one says:" In reality, it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a sewage pipeline through an amusement center? "
Ouch! That's an oldie.

But like old chemists, bad science jokes never die. They just reach equilibrium.
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Old 03-18-2017, 01:39 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OLChemist View Post
Ouch! That's an oldie.

But like old chemists, bad science jokes never die. They just reach equilibrium.
What do you expect from someone who might be regarded by young folk as an dinosaur?
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Those who do know do not write and those who write may not know. Frank W. Louis, No such Agency

True peace between nations will only happen when there is true peace within people’s souls.
Black Elk

“Tell me, and I will listen.
Show me, and I will understand.
Involve me, and I will learn.”
Lakota Proverb

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace.
(Reinhold Niebuhr, but the origin is debated)
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Old 03-18-2017, 01:55 PM   #31
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Normal people think: What is not broken is not repaired.
Engineers think: If it is not broken yet, then there are too few possibilities.
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Those who do know do not write and those who write may not know. Frank W. Louis, No such Agency

True peace between nations will only happen when there is true peace within people’s souls.
Black Elk

“Tell me, and I will listen.
Show me, and I will understand.
Involve me, and I will learn.”
Lakota Proverb

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace.
(Reinhold Niebuhr, but the origin is debated)
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Old 03-23-2017, 02:24 AM   #32
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NULL Device

Usage of the NULL-Device

Dear User,

recently, the bad habit of destroying unneeded data by sending them to "mv file/dev/null" has heaped up. However, this has led to a problem in the laboratories that can only be understood if one knows the function of the Null device (= Hardware).

The null device is a small box (about 20x10x7 cm). Data of all kinds exists as is known by bits, which, as each of us knows, are represented by voltage levels. If Data are send to /dev/null, there are so-called "kill-resistors" and the buts are converted into heat. (Heat is naturally generated when current flows through a resistor).

Recently, however, frequent use of this device has led to heat dissipation problems at the NULL device. An additional fan has already been installed, but that Problem was not completely eliminated.

Therefore, a request: In the future use this device only if it must be used.

Thank you!!!
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Those who do know do not write and those who write may not know. Frank W. Louis, No such Agency

True peace between nations will only happen when there is true peace within people’s souls.
Black Elk

“Tell me, and I will listen.
Show me, and I will understand.
Involve me, and I will learn.”
Lakota Proverb

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace.
(Reinhold Niebuhr, but the origin is debated)
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