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Old 07-07-2005, 11:45 PM   #1
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Here's one for the guys...THE DEER HUNT

THE DEER HUNT
1:00am Alarm clock rings
2:00am hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed
2:15am throw everything except the kitchen sink in the truck
3:00am leave for the deep woods
3:15am drive back and pick up gun
3:30am drive like hell to get to the woods before daylight
4:00am set up camp-forgot the tent
4:30am head into the woods
6:05am see three deer
6:06am take aim and squeeze trigger
6:07am "click"
6:08am load gun while watching deer go over the hill
8:00am head back to camp
9:00am still looking for camp
10:00am realize you don't know where camp is
Noon fire gun for help-eat wild berries
12:15pm run out of berries, three deer come by
12:20pm strange feeling in stomach
12:30pm realize I ate poison berries
12:45pm rescued
12:55pm rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped
3:00pm arrive back in camp
3:30pm leave camp to kill deer
4:00pm return to camp for bullets
4:01pm load gun-leave camp again
5:00pm empty gun on squirrel that is bugging me
6:00pm arrive at camp, see deer grazing in camp
6:01pm load gun
6:02pm fire gun
6:03pm one dead truck
6:05pm hunting partner returns to camp dragging deer
6:06pm repress strong desire to shoot partner
6:07pm fall into fire
6:10pm change clothes, throw burned ones in fire
6:15pm take pickup and leave partner and his deer in woods
6:25pm pickup boils over
6:26pm start walking
6:30pm stumble and fall, drop gun in mud
6:35pm meet bear
6:36pm take aim
6:37pm fire gun, blows up, barrel plugged with mud
6:38pm crap in pants
6:39pm climb tree
9:00pm bear departs, wrap gun around tree
Midnight home at last
Sunday watched football game on TV slowly tearing hunting license into little pieces, place in envelope, and mail to game warden with very clear instructions on where to place it.
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Old 07-08-2005, 01:19 PM   #2
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Sounds like one of dem dar redneck hunters to me...

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Old 07-08-2005, 11:05 PM   #3
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Ittizz, Ittizz!
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Old 07-08-2005, 11:58 PM   #4
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Hmmm...to REALLY be about redneck hunters...it would have to include Beer/whiskey etc!!!!!! and doing most of the hunting for 2 legged deer! other than that tho, pretty good description. I've hunted on state land a lot, and have seen just about everything! even this story posted here is mild!
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Old 07-09-2005, 06:28 PM   #5
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I got it off a poster in a store in Julian, CA. It's really beautiful up there!
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Old 07-10-2005, 10:15 AM   #6
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Old 07-10-2005, 01:17 PM   #7
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I have actually hunted with a man that shot at a deer on opening weekend, missed and then proceeded to shoot in his deer rifle right at his stand. Then he couldn't understand why he didn't see any deer for the rest of the weekend!

Same man, different day was trying to get a fire started in our fireplace in the hunting cabin. Took a leaf blower (yes, I said leaf blower) and used it to get the fire roaring. The rest of us walked in while he was doing this and crap flying everywhere. He was like, yes??

We pushed gun safety all the time. The straw that broke the camels back was when my husband and I were walking into the cabin and he was coming out with his rifle already loaded - pointed straight out and could have tripped and killed one of us.

Last time he hunted with us.
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Old 07-10-2005, 04:19 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by colonah04
Hmmm...to REALLY be about redneck hunters...it would have to include Beer/whiskey etc!!!!!! and doing most of the hunting for 2 legged deer! other than that tho, pretty good description. I've hunted on state land a lot, and have seen just about everything! even this story posted here is mild!
Actually we go after the 3-legged deer, cause those are the ones we nearly got left-handed with our scatter guns while we were holding a bottle of bourbon in our right hand. It's hard to aim with yer head tilted back and a an amber bottle in front of your face....
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Old 07-10-2005, 10:38 PM   #9
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True story, tho hard to believe....years back, I was hunting in Menominee county Mich...on state land (1,000s of acres mostly swamp) and had set up a blind on one of the few hills in the region...with a shooting lane out to about 250 yards (gun season!).
Between my blind (natural brush/evergreens, etc...) and down to the edge of the swamp/woods was relatively open..and about a 45 degree downward slope. To be safe I had put some hunter orange tape on the trees, directly above where the blind was...which could be seen a LONG ways...but wouldn't be moving. And also marked the downwind trail side occasionally w/ tape...so folks would know I was in that area.
1/2 way through opening day...I see a guy walking into the woods from an angle..but Directly towards my shooting lane!...then, he places something on the trail...and proceeds to drive 'marker spikes' all around that spot. Then, he goes about 25 yards away, right smack out in the open, in full orange..and lays flat on the ground..with his gun pointing towards the marker stakes...which are only about 25 yards away!
Now, remember, I'm seeing this from 150 yards...and uphill...and haven't got a CLUE what the hell he's doing...but he's apparently planning to hunt DIRECTLY in my line of fire! so, I get out in the open (ruining that morning's hunt) and walk down there.
I ask what the hell are you doing, didn't you see my orange tape, or trail markers you walked right past? Nope he didn't see any of that was all he said. Then, I ask what did he dump on the ground? answer? 1/2 a coffee can of corn for bait! so he sets up this...and hunts it right smack in the open from 25 yards away with a 30-06! The markers, you ask? so he could REMEMBER where the bait was! and he's 25 frikkin yards away, in the open!!!
maybe the deer were planning to tunnel up to him suddenly, and he'd shoot them when they came up????
I was going to be mad...but he was so bizarre, I just couldn't be...and tried to explain to him that a 30-06 will shoot a LOT farther than a bow...and if deer were stupid enough to come to bait with you sitting on it...they'd all be dead by now...
This type of person is out there...and they're carrying guns! scary thought!!!! this is why hunting has the reputation it is getting...
Another time, bow hunting, I was camped fairly near these two guys from out of state, and we all were there prior to opening day. These guys were WORLD class shots, and the arrow groups were touching at 30 to 40 yards...and they had full camo, seemed woods wise...and experienced. I didn't see them after the first day or two..and asked the local guy who knew them how they did. The answer? they never went in the woods but spent the entire couple days in the casino..and/or drunk! and never hunted? damn drive all the way here...set up a camp...pay out of state fees...and get wasted? well different strokes for different folks...
I don't hope to hunt the state land again anytime soon!
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Old 07-11-2005, 12:58 AM   #10
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Stories like yours is exactly why hubby and I hunt on a lease by ourselves. When we hunted with three other guys, we would pass up nice - young bucks for the next year or so, only to come in from hunting and one of the other guys shot it! They say you can't eat the horns, but the bigger the horns, usually the more meat!!!

We have a problem right now with new hunters next door to us. They like to ride the fence line with junk piled in the back of their pickup that rattles to no end. They really like doing this at prime hunting time. Makes ya wander if this is one of those things that the government should take a little more time to work on - hunters with no business in the woods!
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Old 07-11-2005, 01:24 AM   #11
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Geez...hunters, and they're driving around at prime time? what next? but one more...
a guy from work wanted to hunt with us...and tho i wondered, we agreed. He wouldn't sit still more than 5 minutes EVER!..and was constantly walking around in the open (NOT stalking!) on a calm sunny day! but I knew he needed the venison...so after I shot a buck...I was crashing the brush in the swamp..trying to 'move' a deer to him, he did have a doe permit. So, I get him to actually sit in a stand...I crash the swamp...and finally, a good sized doe runs out...within about 20 feet of the blind...but no shot??? so I keep pounding the woods...without success. Then, when I get back to head to camp I ask, why didn't you shoot that doe? and his response is a classic (remember he's within 20 feet of a trotting deer) his reply? WHAT DOE?!!!!!! he must have dozed off....anyways..that was it for him...and me hunting within 50 miles of each other!
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Old 07-11-2005, 02:16 AM   #12
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You never honestly know someone you work with until you get them away from the office. Hee Hee I know I have wanted to fall asleep while sitting in my stand, especially when it's cold and raining, but I'm always afraid that the "big one" will walk right out in front of me and my hubby would never let me live that one down!

This should have actually been a deer hunting thread lol!

Thanks for sharing - always fun to trade hunting or fishing stories.
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Old 07-11-2005, 09:25 PM   #13
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Ya, it should have been a deer hunting thread, but it got the ball rolling. Thanks for sharing your stories! I really liked reading them. It sounds like you had some pretty close calls with death, inexperienced "other hunters", and lesson learning.
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Old 07-11-2005, 11:11 PM   #14
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It gets worse...those were only the 'G' rated ones! one of close hunting buddies had a rocky marriage..which I was somewhat aware of..but didn't think it was that bad. Then, we go up north (250 miles) to a fairly remote deer camp...where we had hunted before. Second day of rifle season, I 'm in my blind..and I see a person coming thru the woods about 250 or 300 yards out. They walk right towards me...and eventually, I could see it was a woman, but in normal dress, and not a hunter. Then she gets even closer, and I see it's a girl from work...who we (me and my hunting partner) both know, but NOT his wife!!!. She expected to find him...but we had switched blinds...though his truck was closeby to where I was...so it turns out they are having an affair, and she's come up to be sure he isn't cheating! (there are no women anywhere near there..but hey suspicions!) so I get REAL mad...and ask what the **** she is doing there...she tells me, and then gets upset because I'm not glad to see her!
I had to get rid of him, and her...and then try to hunt! cost me a day of hunting...and the hunting partnership was dissolved..as was his mariage when we got back to work. I kept quiet (not my business) but the girl that came up there sure as hell didn't!!!!
One other time (state land) I had set up an area...and used it for years without interference...but two days before opener, I get there, and set up to bowhunt/scout...
About 9:30...three guys show up and walk up close by. I get out of my blind...and they jump three feet in the air! the dumbasses never saw me, tho they were only about 10 or 15 yards behind me! Anyways...they planned to hunt right there..but on state land, it's first come first served. When I get to talk to them, one of them is about 70 years old..and with limited mobility. So he asks if he can hunt there gun season..since it's not that far back in the swamp...and he could drive much of the way. I felt sorry for him..and gave him the spot...then wandered off to find another.
I didn't have time to do much scouting, or preparation...but wandered around, saw a likely area..and hid behind a tree...as best I could...figuring I'd scout once prime time
was over. Within 1/2 and hour a big 8 pt. buck comes out of the swamp...right smack in front of me! so I got him...then went back to hunting. I hear a shot from the area I gave to the old guy...and figured he got a deer too, and then several more shots. Then, at dark...I go back to the truck..and he is there also...Only one road in...so all park there. I ask if he got a deer, since I heard shooting. he says he missed one...i ask how far (gun season) and he says about 30 yards! he missed a standing deer at 30 yards, with a scoped rifle!!!!! all the other shots I heard were him sighting it in! and I gave that fool a PRIME spot!!!!! All my buddies said the 8 pt. was a gift from the creator for being nice and giving him my spot...maybe...but now I wish I hadn't!
AHHH the joys of the hunt!
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Old 07-11-2005, 11:45 PM   #15
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No Way! Unbelievable!
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Old 07-11-2005, 11:48 PM   #16
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Well, it's all true...and it can only get better from here on out...I've SEEN all the insanity! plus I got a lease this year on PRIVATE farmland...so adios STATE land!!!
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Old 07-12-2005, 08:50 PM   #17
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That's great! You'll have to keep me posted on your next adventure. I like your hunting stories. With your permission, I'd like to incorprate them into my children's stories. I don't usually do that, but you gave me some ideas.
Oh, I wanted to know...is this private land you found...well, I heard some people raise wild life on their land, then charge a fee for hunters to come in and hunt them. Is this what this is?
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Old 07-12-2005, 09:10 PM   #18
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LB..Absolutely not! I HATE those 'game' farms! this is a dairy farm....and has a lot of state land nearby...but without roads...that should keep 99% of folks of off it..and the farm attracts wildlife (since it has corn/hay/etc) but they are free ranging.
Hey go ahead and use whatever you wish...tho I have thought often I should write articles on hunting...and try to publish them...these stories are among many others I've seen...but they're the most bizarre...but I have LOTS of other ones ...hoipe the children enjoy/learn from what you wind up doing story wise...
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Old 07-13-2005, 11:39 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by colonah04
Well, it's all true...and it can only get better from here on out...I've SEEN all the insanity! plus I got a lease this year on PRIVATE farmland...so adios STATE land!!!
You did the right thing by the old man, I would have done the same thing (and probably been just as upset as you afterwards), but the feeling you get by doing something good like that will always outweigh any problems associated with it. Giving up a prime hunting spot is a HARD thing to do! We have always had a rule on our leases that opening weekend - the hunter that set up his or her area is the only one to hunt the area. After that, it's up to the hunter if someone else hunts there. But since it's been just my hubby and I for the last 6 years, we don't have that problem.

My biggest problem is, I like hunting draws or the very back corner of a property where there is no hunting pressure. It never fails, there's always some hunter that loves to walk the fence lines AND they CANNOT do it quiety. I don't mind them pushing the deer towards me - but not out of the country.
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Old 07-13-2005, 11:52 AM   #20
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Originally Posted by little bird

Oh, I wanted to know...is this private land you found...well, I heard some people raise wild life on their land, then charge a fee for hunters to come in and hunt them. Is this what this is?
These game ranches you are talking about, it's not hunting to me. They drive you out to shoot your pick of trophies and you eat and sleep in luxurious rooms! That's not hunting!

To be a true hunter, you have to research, scout and study the deer and their habits and movements and put in endless hours doing it. Then, come season, you have to put in countless more hours hunting. In Texas that includes in the heat and the freezing cold weather.

You don't just arrive, drive out, take your animal and go party. Sad part is, they don't know what they are missing!
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