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Old 04-21-2012, 12:56 PM   #1
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How to be an NDN

I'll put this here instead of Native issues only because my gift for being a smart@a**. You'll see what I mean.

So I am out with my wife last night having dinner, the first time we have been alone in several weeks. We are enjoying our dinner and conversation when all of a sudden some woman comes over in a stupor. Asking the question, "Are you a real Native American?" So of course I answer, "Nope, made in China." At this time my wife just folds her arms sits back and starts to smirk, cause she knows how this is about to go. Long story short she attacks with the usual barrage of questions of basically how to be native, so I told her. I said, "First, sell everything you own and go live on the rez. Don't just visit and worship to poverty, go sit in it yourself, own it. Then go get a tan cause you are way too white to be an NDN, I mean I'm blinded by the light reflecting off of you as it is, I'd hate to meet you in broad daylight. Then it's not enough to just use words and phrases that sound NDN, you're Gonna have to go to your doctor and get you DNA completely rearranged, oh wait. You just sold everything you had, you can't afford to change your DNA. To be honest with you the best way to be NDN is to be born that way but I understand that many of you were not afforded that at birth, so, By this time the look on her face was priceless, and before I could go any farther, and I was about to go in for the kill my lovely wife, leans forward arms still crossed and says, "Starting to feel like a real NDN yet?". That point the woman quietly turned and couldn't get away from us fast enough.
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Old 04-21-2012, 05:47 PM   #2
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