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-   -   Making coffee ... (http://forums.powwows.com/f54/making-coffee-27931/)

xTekno 07-11-2005 04:05 PM

Making coffee ...
 
MAKING COFFEE is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's got to be hot. You've got to take your time. You've got to stir gently, and firmly. You've got to grind your beans until they squeak. And then you put in the milk.

LAYING A CARPET is like making love to a beautiful woman. You check the dimensions, lay her out on the floor, pin her down, and nail her, then walk all over her. If you're adventurous - like me - you might like to try an underlay.

HANGING WALLPAPER is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. Clean all the relevant surfaces, spread her out on the table, cover her with paste, and stick her up. Then you clean your brush, light your pipe, stand back and admire your handiwork.

PUTTING UP A TENT is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You rent her, unzip the door, put up your pole and slip in to the old bag.

WASHING A CAR is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You've got to caress the bodywork. Breathe softly and gently. And give every inch of it your loving attention. And make sure you've got a nice wet sponge.

BEING IN THERAPY is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You get on the couch, string 'em along with some half-lies and evasions, probe some deep dark holes, and then hand over all your money.

BEING IN A CRASH
Going to the brink of death and back, in a nine-car pile-up on a dual carriageway, is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First of all, brace yourself, hold on tight - particularly if it's a rear-ender. And pray you make contact with her twin airbags as soon as possible.

GOING FISHING was very much like making love to a beautiful woman.

First of all, clean and inspect your tackle, carefully pull back your rod cover, and remove any dirt or grunge that may have built up whilst not in use. Then, extend your rod to its full length, and check that there are no kinks or any wear. Particularly at the base, where the grip is usually applied.

Make sure you've got a decent float, the appropriate bait, and that there's plenty of shot in your bag.

*Brown Eyed Gurl* 07-11-2005 07:57 PM

..IM SPEACHLESS...


:laughing:



...NOT

xTekno 07-11-2005 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brown Eyed Gurl
..IM SPEACHLESS...



:laughing:



...NOT

Let's go wash a car and crash it, eh?

Plenty Fox 07-11-2005 08:44 PM

You are the Poet Laureate of PowWows.com!

xTekno 07-11-2005 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plenty Fox & Proud
You are the Poet Laureate of PowWows.com!

Clearly, the position of Poet Laureate has come a long way since the days when a poet was expected to string together a few rhymes for a royal birthday party!

middle of the sky 07-11-2005 09:14 PM

i just pmed you my digits...call me! :eyelashes
























:laughing:

Plenty Fox 07-11-2005 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ta'neeszahnii Techno
Clearly, the position of Poet Laureate has come a long way since the days when a poet was expected to string together a few rhymes for a royal birthday party!

Yes, and you've left big shoes for any successor to fill!!:tounge_sm

xTekno 07-12-2005 02:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plenty Fox & Proud
Yes, and you've left big shoes for any successor to fill!!:tounge_sm

Well, my CB handle wasn't "Foot-Long" for nothing.

Plenty Fox 07-12-2005 09:27 AM

BE STILL MY HEART!!!!! :board_yu:

xTekno 07-12-2005 10:57 AM

I guess I'll lay a carpet today ... hard work, but someone's gotta do it!

wyo_rose 07-12-2005 11:31 AM

Making coffee sounds good, but the rest.....:lol:

Joe G 07-12-2005 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ta'neeszahnii Techno
I guess I'll lay a carpet today ... hard work, but someone's gotta do it!

Hmm carpet laying....tacky, isn't it? :lol:

Plenty Fox 07-12-2005 11:57 AM

Wall To Wall!!!

andre 07-12-2005 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wyo_rose
Making coffee sounds good, but the rest.....:lol:

The best coffee is the kind that you've just perked for the 3rd or 4th time.

xTekno 07-12-2005 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plenty Fox & Proud
Wall To Wall!!!

Form-fitted into every curve, crack and crevice.

Plenty Fox 07-12-2005 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ta'neeszahnii Techno
Form-fitted into every curve, crack and crevice.

and if you don't get it just right the first time, I'll make you start over again!

xTekno 07-12-2005 09:03 PM

WORKING ON A VEHICLE is like making love to a beautiful woman: First you pop open the hood and make sure all the vital liquids are full. Then you take your dip-stick and make sure the internal lubrication is clean and pure. Finally you inspect the rear end and crawl in underneath. You end up making sure the drive shaft is well lubed and repack the ball bearings with high-temperature grease. Then you wipe off all the excess oils and do a once-over with a clean towel.

Finally, you stand back from a distance and admire the beauty!

Plenty Fox 07-12-2005 09:06 PM

Your wordsmithing is amazing!

xTekno 07-12-2005 09:13 PM

PROVIDING SOUND SUPPORT is like making love to a Beautiful woman! You gotta love the tight beefy low-end, the well-defined mid-range and the firm sharp highs ... 'nuff said!

Joe G 07-12-2005 11:01 PM

But will you still respect the total audio in the morning? and does a graphic equalizer become a sex object? J/k J/k J/k...

Joe's Dad 07-13-2005 12:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ta'neeszahnii Techno
PROVIDING SOUND SUPPORT is like making love to a Beautiful woman! You gotta love the tight beefy low-end, the well-defined mid-range and the firm sharp highs ... 'nuff said!

I gotta go get glasses. I thought it said 'firm, sharp thighs'! LOL

xTekno 07-13-2005 12:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe's Dad
I gotta go get glasses. I thought it said 'firm, sharp thighs'! LOL

Dude, make sure you make a strong pot of coffee first ... then worry about getting glasses.

TigerEyes214 07-13-2005 02:46 AM

WOW....did you really come up with these all on your own?????


AMAZING is the only word for it i think..... :whatchuta :hysterica

Plenty Fox 07-13-2005 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ta'neeszahnii Techno
PROVIDING SOUND SUPPORT is like making love to a Beautiful woman! You gotta love the tight beefy low-end, the well-defined mid-range and the firm sharp highs ... 'nuff said!

Yeah! Heard tell a good 'vocal' woman is a turn on; keep providing the 'support'!

xTekno 07-13-2005 11:06 AM

I think I'll go fishing today ... then hang wall-paper later in the afternoon!

Plenty Fox 07-13-2005 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ta'neeszahnii Techno
I think I'll go fishing today ... then hang wall-paper later in the afternoon!

Can I help? I bait a mean hook; buzzbait, eggs or worms--your choice!

Plenty Fox 07-13-2005 12:36 PM

But the worms? They gotta be BIG!

[and, lest I forget, I really enjoy wallpapering...the more 'paste' the better.]

xTekno 07-13-2005 01:09 PM

I know a girl that use to bait hooks: She was promoted to Head Hooker in no time. After hooking many baits, she is now the Master Baiter.

wyo_rose 07-13-2005 01:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by andre
The best coffee is the kind that you've just perked for the 3rd or 4th time.

:hysterica

Joe G 07-13-2005 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ta'neeszahnii Techno
I know a girl that use to bait hooks: She was promoted to Head Hooker in no time. After hooking many baits, she is now the Master Baiter.


:hysterica Hey TT, you should get a stand up comedy routine going! You'd be great!

xTekno 07-13-2005 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plenty Fox & Proud
Yeah! Heard tell a good 'vocal' woman is a turn on; keep providing the 'support'!

Yeah, if she starts wailing, I may have to hook in the "compressor" or invoke the "enhancer" or the "limiter"!

Plenty Fox 07-13-2005 03:29 PM

An Equalizer would be a wonderful investment!

xTekno 07-13-2005 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plenty Fox & Proud
But the worms? They gotta be BIG!

[and, lest I forget, I really enjoy wallpapering...the more 'paste' the better.]

Well ... you should only need one worm ... unless you really want to do some serious fishing!

xTekno 07-13-2005 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plenty Fox & Proud
An Equalizer would be a wonderful investment!

and a power conditioner so you don't have unexpected pre-mature blow outs!

Plenty Fox 07-13-2005 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ta'neeszahnii Techno
and a power conditioner so you don't have unexpected pre-mature blow outs!

Uh, well, That's the Viagra model....lasts a good four hours...or so I'm told...

xTekno 07-13-2005 05:38 PM

One might need a surge protector in case there are contaminates on the prong when its inserted into the receptive socket!

Plenty Fox 07-13-2005 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ta'neeszahnii Techno
One might need a surge protector in case there are contaminates on the prong with its inserted into the receptive socket!

I don't know how you did it, but you OUTDID yourself!
I am, to borrow someone else's phrase "SPEACHLESS"" :lol:

I give this one a
:ten_out_o

xTekno 07-13-2005 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plenty Fox & Proud
I don't know how you did it, but you OUTDID yourself!
I am, to borrow someone else's phrase "SPEACHLESS"" :lol:

I give this one a
:ten_out_o

Rocked you to the core, eh?

xTekno 07-13-2005 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plenty Fox & Proud
Yeah! Heard tell a good 'vocal' woman is a turn on; keep providing the 'support'!

Q: How do you ensure that a singing group that never strays far from their lead singer's monotone stays out of a contest?

A: Use a band reject filter!

(A band reject filter cuts out a range (band) of frequencies from a signal, so a group that didn't have a wide range of pitches could easily be completely removed from a signal with a band reject filter.)

Plenty Fox 07-13-2005 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ta'neeszahnii Techno
Rocked you to the core, eh?

A Big "O"!!


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