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Old 06-08-2004, 10:37 AM   #1
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NDN Horoscope

Got this by email today - might be good for a few laughs...be sure to post which "sign" you are! I'm wolverine!


INDIAN HOROSCOPE:
*MUSKRAT Dec 22-Jan 19:
You are always saving junk and dragging things around the yard. You are basically a pack rat. There has never been a tidy Muskrat from your Band. You should quit stealing other people's garbage.

*PTARMIGAN Jan 20-Feb 18:
You haven't the foggiest idea who you are and you've stayed
stupid for too long. You are a natural liar. On the other hand, you are compelled to the dinner table where, you make loud sucking noises, as you devour the last six pork chops. Everyone thinks your Indian name should be Pork Chop. You should stop going to bingo.

*WEASEL Feb 19-Mar 20:
You have no imagination and you always think the Department of Indian Affairs or Social Services are following you. You have influence over welfare administrators and friends think you're a weasel. You lack perseverance and are generally a chicken yet possess exceptional dancing skills. Ptarmigan people like to sniff their noses a lot. You should wear moccasins.

* OWL Mar 21- Apr 19:
You are an old stiff and this is reflected in everything you do.
You are always whining over nothing and think everyone is out to rob you of something. You should start using Sweet Grass and start being the one on top.

* WOLVERINE Apr20- May 20:
You like to work like hell and you are a genuine Jack of all
trades. Most people think you are just getting in their way. You are stubborn and persistent. You should get on welfare, immediately and quit passing out after your done.

* WOLF May 20- June 21:
You are very intelligent on your feet but lose all credibility
when drunk. People like you because you know how where to get a bootleg at 3 in the morning. This means your're a con artist. Wolves are notorious for their flirting and pimping. You should stop drinking on weekdays.

* LYNX June 22- July 22:
You are sympathetic and understanding to other peoples'
problems. Friends think you are a sponge and you are always misplacing your Sweet Grass. That is why you will always drive a Ford and have a mate who fools around. You should give up your driver's license (since it expired 2 years ago anyways).

* BEAR July 23-Aug 22:
You consider yourself a warrior, others think you're a macho
egotistical creature of habit. Most Bears like to pick on little
people. You have no ambition and will forever live in your mind. Bear people are scared of the cops but yet always walk out of the Ravens with a drink in their hand after closing. You should start playing bingo.

* TROUT Aug 23- Sep 22:
You like to have things in perfect order and will nit pick all
day. Your sex life has become well known, due to your meticulous nature. Friends think you're an example of institutionalization and would make a model inmate at YCC. You need to buy more underwear.

* FOX Sep 23- Oct 23:
You want to learn how to make bannock but don't have the time. You want to live the traditional way of life, but would go crazy if you missed an episode of your favourite TV soap. Chances for employment are nil and you'll have to do bead work for the rest of your life. All Ptarmigan's light their Sweet Grass from the wrong end. You should start learning how to sew.

* CARIBOU Oct 24- Nov 21:
You are a shrewd and conniving Dene. Your land claim cannot be settled because you also want them to throw in BHP and Diavik. Your work ethics defy logic but this stems from the fact that you know everything. Most Caribous have thick, moppy hair, yet they don't need to shave. Never work for the Band because relatives will always ask for money.

* MOOSE Nov 22- Dec 21:
You are extemely optimistic and have the tendency to rely on
Indian Medicine. The majority of Moose carry little bundles of leather and will do weird things suddenly. You should take Centrum Multivitamins, fast once a week, quit the hard stuff and start Drumming (if you're a He) or start Tanning (if you're a She).

Last edited by Singing Eagle; 06-08-2004 at 10:40 AM..
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Old 06-08-2004, 10:40 AM   #2
...more than a feeling...
 
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Says I'm an Owl! LOL... good one!
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Old 06-08-2004, 11:41 PM   #3
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i'm a fox.....lol
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Old 06-08-2004, 11:48 PM   #4
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lmebo ... caribou here
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Old 06-09-2004, 09:35 AM   #5
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i'm a weasel....
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Old 06-10-2004, 02:32 AM   #6
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LYNX what is that :p
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Old 06-10-2004, 12:46 PM   #7
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Talking NDN Horoscope

Trout here, lol
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Old 06-10-2004, 05:31 PM   #8
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MOOSE here
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Old 06-17-2004, 12:44 AM   #9
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Caribou
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Old 06-17-2004, 11:06 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FAITH
LYNX what is that :p
From: http://www.nature.ca/notebooks/english/lynx.htm

Lynx canadensis
An inhabitant of the forested areas of Canada from Newfoundland to the Yukon, this member of the cat family is distinguished by a short body, long legs, large padded feet, and pointed ears tipped with long, black hair. They are nocturnal, solitary hunters. They appear shortly before dark and remain active until shortly after sunrise.
The lynx is an excellent climber and occasionally swims across rivers and streams. Their major food item is the snowshoe hare, but they sometimes take ducks, foxes, skunks, and even deer. Their main enemies, besides humans, are cougars and wolves.
Their soft, lustrous fur has been a popular fashion item and has led to the demise of many thousands of these animals.

Go to this site to see a pic - notice the tufts of hair on the ears.
http://www.lynx-cats.com/
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