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Old 03-11-2005, 07:40 PM   #1
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Why The Chicken Crossed The Road!

Southern Black Reasons Why The Chicken Crossed The Road

by Cecil Washington


Granddaddy:

"That damn chicken crossed the road 'cause he knew I was gonna
barbecue him!"

Grandma:

"In my day, we were so poor, we couldn't afford to watch the
chicken cross the road. In fact, we didn't even HAVE a road.
We didn't even have a chicken! And if we DID see a chicken,
we didn't let it cross no road, we ATE it! We ain't NEVER
waste no chicken. You young people nowadays don't even know
what a REAL chicken is! Back in 1942......."

Uncle:

"He was probably crossing the road because some white man was chasing him."

Elder Cousin:

"Boy, let me tell you something. The only reason why they ever
let that chicken cross the road was because there was a job on
the other side. And since the chicken's feathers were white,
the white folks would give HIM a job over a black man!"

Auntie:

"I don't know what that there chicken crossed the road, but I
know he sure taste-did good with some barbecue sauce and some
potato salad."

Great Grandfather:

"You know, the first chicken to cross that road was kin to you, Son, by your mother's father's sister's cousin's people."

Daddy:

"That chicken better run his a** cross that road. He owes me
$45 dollars from the last crap game. I'm a put a bullet in 'im
next time I see him!"

Great Grandmother:

"You know, the Indians believed that the chicken was sacred, and that the road was sacred, and that crossing it was sacred too. You know, we're part Indian ourselves. In fact, we may even be part chicken. Some of these white folks around here are part chicken too, but they don't want nobody to know it."

Great Aunt:

"Hold it now, chile, don't you be kissin' on no chicken. That there chicken is your cousin!"

Mamma:

"Boy, don't you be worrying me 'bout no chicken, I told you to go
clean up your room, didn't I? Asking me 'bout some chicken crossin'
the road---you ask me that again and I'm a take a switch to you!"

GrandPappa:

"The chicken crossed the road because he was leading a life of sin.
You see JESUS was on the other side. Tell me, son, when was the
last time you went to Church on a Sunday? Do you know who the Lord
is, young fella? If that CHICKEN (huh!) could give his LIFE (huh!)
to GOD (huh!) then you can TOO (huh!). Can I get an AMEN?!?!"
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Old 03-11-2005, 09:32 PM   #2
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there's a commercial on the radio that makes me laugh my a$$ off.. One of the questions is why did the chicken cross the road? Answer: cuz you are UGLY!... Don't know if anyone of you heard that before but it's hilarious.. Every question they ask the answer is always: Cuz you are so ugly!.. lol
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