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Old 12-22-2011, 08:22 PM   #1
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Arrow WHY some MEN FALL FLAT! oh, pleaze, read on....

How many men does it take to open a beer?
FOUR...1 who says...'duh, gee, we’re otta beer'...2 says...'duh, yeah!......who’s gonna go git some?'....4 says...'*BURP*'...(which means “im too dang drunk... you go get it)... 3 says...’im back with the beer!’..(who has already opened one to drink while driving back)
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you. YOU SAID IT BUDDY! AND cos her man already cant support HER!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink. TRUE, TRUE....but its BEER than has made he change
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me...” WELL, lets think on that...a beer drinkin slob, too lazy to do it himself....told HER how do to it...uh, yeah.
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven. AND YOU WONDER WHY THE MEAL IS BURNT? OR LATE??
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men fart more than women?
Because THEY DRINK TOO MUCH BEER!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door, and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
IT BETTER BE THE WIFE....or its YOU who will be in the DOG’S HOUSE!besides, DUFUS.....remember.....ya sent her for the beer?!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A GROUP OF MEN!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always. **LAUGHIN** what...you thought you could ever be CORRECT, just by getting married?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake. No..they're called C..H..I..L..D..R..E..N.. cuz youre all too lazy a$$ed to REALLY help care for them.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to. well, if thats the way you feel about it.....
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. **LAUGHIN BIG TIME!!** who ever said we wanted to come DOWN to your level any way? oh yeah...TECHNO!! **laughin even more**
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.SAYS YOU!.....by the way...any of you MARRIED ‘men’ who acted positive towards what TECHNO wrote here....ya’ll can thank TECHNO in da mornin..when ya wake up with the dog in the dogs house.**laughin**.....oh, and boyfriends who also agreed, DITTO!

Last edited by APACHEFIRE; 12-22-2011 at 08:32 PM..
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Old 12-22-2011, 09:25 PM   #2
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GOLLY MS AF! You gotta axe ta grind? LOL!
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Old 12-22-2011, 11:00 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by comadre View Post
GOLLY MS AF! You gotta axe ta grind? LOL!
nope....it was TECHNO who asked the questions....ah just answred them from a womans point of view...and you know it! oh i saw you there C-MOM...**laughin**
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**laughin**
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Old 12-22-2011, 11:21 PM   #4
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Oh Yeah ApacheFire--set em straight!!!
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Old 12-22-2011, 11:25 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by muskrat_skull View Post
Oh Yeah ApacheFire--set em straight!!!
thanks...MUSKRAT....at least YOUR not a traitor....or are you...hey, are you male or femlae??/ let me go check your profile..brb
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Old 12-22-2011, 11:49 PM   #6
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Female, bout same situation as you xcept boyfriend is back for time being anyway....
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Old 12-23-2011, 12:00 AM   #7
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Female, bout same situation as you xcept boyfriend is back for time being anyway....
how do you know what MY situation is like?
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"Laughter is'nt really "the best medicine"...it’s the CURE!” ~AME~
"Give me a good laugh,... and i will give you my world!” ~AME~

**laughin**
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Old 12-23-2011, 12:42 AM   #8
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From your bio, by situation I mean female, about the same age, grown kids. I'm divorced, so I'm technically single though in a relationship. Sorry if you thought I meant something else. Maybe bad word choice on my part.
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Old 12-23-2011, 01:43 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by muskrat_skull View Post
From your bio, by situation I mean female, about the same age, grown kids. I'm divorced, so I'm technically single though in a relationship. Sorry if you thought I meant something else. Maybe bad word choice on my part.
nah...you will learn that i dont anger easily, around women....and i like to joke with everyone.
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Old 12-23-2011, 02:00 AM   #10
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And I shall friend you, if you like. I am new with some of this social networking stuff, your page is awesome by the way. You will be the first person I have ever friended.
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Old 12-23-2011, 02:19 AM   #11
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And I shall friend you, if you like. I am new with some of this social networking stuff, your page is awesome by the way. You will be the first person I have ever friended.
thanks....then i am honored.
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Old 12-23-2011, 03:22 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by APACHEFIRE View Post
nope....it was TECHNO who asked the questions....ah just answred them from a womans point of view...and you know it! oh i saw you there C-MOM...**laughin**
ya I was laughin! The men folk are pretty funny creatures with the way they think. And it's great the way they are-cuz we women will always keep ruling the world as long as their thinking pattern remains the same! LOL!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. Did ya call me a traitor?!
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Old 12-23-2011, 01:39 PM   #13
Ugh. As. If.
 
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Good answers!! tech's original version is funny the same way its funny seeing a brat throwing a tantrum
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Old 12-23-2011, 02:02 PM   #14
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Oh Boy I am SOOOOO Gonna step in it now

How many men does it take to open a beer?

the answer still is none, She should make sure we never run out, after all she is in charge of the women stuff like shopping.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

He said can't, not want
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Thats also why men desiegned the kick plate to be 4 1/2" back from the face, and not 12", so your little feet could get you closer to the sink.

-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
If it doesn't start with honey, you're the greatest, how intelegent can it be, .
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven. AND YOU WONDER WHY THE MEAL IS BURNT? OR LATE?? Then you need to turn off the TV, and pay attention.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men fart more than women?
They don't they just don't try to act like they don't at all.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door, and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
a feminist
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake. No..they're called C..H..I..L..D..R..E..N.. cuz youre all too lazy a$$ed to REALLY help care for them. Believe we when said, I Do, she didn't from then on out.


-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
for the peace and quiet.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. **LAUGHIN BIG TIME!!** who ever said we wanted to come DOWN to your level any way? oh yeah...TECHNO!! **laughin even more**
OK, I got nothign for this, both are just funny
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Honey Do List ...

Sorry Af, I just had to, I know, I'm in the dog house, but I figure, I spend so much time in there as is it, I've kinda fixed it up a bit and quiet truthfully, it's got all the amenities of home, minus the wife.
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Old 12-23-2011, 09:48 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by [MENTION=94660
comadre;1504919]ya I was laughin! The men folk are pretty funny creatures with the way they think. And it's great the way they are-cuz we women will always keep ruling the world as long as their thinking pattern remains the same! LOL!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. Did ya call me a traitor?!
sorry, just no energy right now. maybe later....
Quote:
Originally Posted by [MENTION=102570
pigheaded;1505011]How many men does it take to open a beer?

the answer still is none, She should make sure we never run out, after all she is in charge of the women stuff like shopping.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

He said can't, not want
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Thats also why men desiegned the kick plate to be 4 1/2" back from the face, and not 12", so your little feet could get you closer to the sink.

-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
If it doesn't start with honey, you're the greatest, how intelegent can it be, .
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven. AND YOU WONDER WHY THE MEAL IS BURNT? OR LATE?? Then you need to turn off the TV, and pay attention.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men fart more than women?
They don't they just don't try to act like they don't at all.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door, and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
a feminist
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake. No..they're called C..H..I..L..D..R..E..N.. cuz youre all too lazy a$$ed to REALLY help care for them. Believe we when said, I Do, she didn't from then on out.


-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
for the peace and quiet.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. **LAUGHIN BIG TIME!!** who ever said we wanted to come DOWN to your level any way? oh yeah...TECHNO!! **laughin even more**
OK, I got nothign for this, both are just funny
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Honey Do List ...

Sorry Af, I just had to, I know, I'm in the dog house, but I figure, I spend so much time in there as is it, I've kinda fixed it up a bit and quiet truthfully, it's got all the amenities of home, minus the wife.
hey, im not your wife, so its not me ya gotta worry about...**laughin** besides...the funniest thing i saw on your list was the *chit* hittin da fan, man!...
well guys..im a little tired...and hungry. have to go take my sugars, my meds, then eat...maybe catch a nap before i come back. ya’ll have fun, and if i dont see you before CHRISTMAS....have a SMOOTHE FANTISTIC WEEKEND! niters.
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Old 12-24-2011, 01:19 AM   #16
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Quote:
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How many men does it take to open a beer?

the answer still is none, She should make sure we never run out, after all she is in charge of the women stuff like shopping.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

He said can't, not want
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Thats also why men desiegned the kick plate to be 4 1/2" back from the face, and not 12", so your little feet could get you closer to the sink.

-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
If it doesn't start with honey, you're the greatest, how intelegent can it be, .
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven. AND YOU WONDER WHY THE MEAL IS BURNT? OR LATE?? Then you need to turn off the TV, and pay attention.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men fart more than women?
They don't they just don't try to act like they don't at all.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door, and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog!
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
a feminist
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake. No..they're called C..H..I..L..D..R..E..N.. cuz youre all too lazy a$$ed to REALLY help care for them. Believe we when said, I Do, she didn't from then on out.


-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
for the peace and quiet.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy. **LAUGHIN BIG TIME!!** who ever said we wanted to come DOWN to your level any way? oh yeah...TECHNO!! **laughin even more**
OK, I got nothign for this, both are just funny
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

Honey Do List ...

Sorry Af, I just had to, I know, I'm in the dog house, but I figure, I spend so much time in there as is it, I've kinda fixed it up a bit and quiet truthfully, it's got all the amenities of home, minus the wife.

Goot thang ya fixed it up piggy! You can stay there a while. LOL.
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Old 12-24-2011, 08:19 AM   #17
AH LOVE LAUGHIN!
 
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Join Date: Feb 2004
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Quote:
Originally Posted by [MENTION=94660
comadre;1505127]
Goot thang ya fixed it up piggy! You can stay there a while. LOL.
youre forgiven...**laughin**
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Life is too short to not take the time to laugh” ~AME~
"Who can afford NOT to laugh at themselves?" ~AME~
"I laugh the most when i laugh at myself!” ~AME~
"Laughter is'nt really "the best medicine"...it’s the CURE!” ~AME~
"Give me a good laugh,... and i will give you my world!” ~AME~

**laughin**
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Old 12-24-2011, 05:55 PM   #18
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Quote:
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P.S. Did ya call me a traitor?!
Quote:
Originally Posted by muskrat_skull View Post
From your bio, by situation I mean female, about the same age, grown kids. I'm divorced, so I'm technically single though in a relationship. Sorry if you thought I meant something else. Maybe bad word choice on my part.
Quote:
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how do you know what MY situation is like?
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Originally Posted by APACHEFIRE View Post
thanks...MUSKRAT....at least YOUR not a traitor....or are you...hey, are you male or femlae??/ let me go check your profile..brb
Quote:
Originally Posted by comadre View Post
GOLLY MS AF! You gotta axe ta grind? LOL!
Typical females!!! They can't even understand each other and they can't seem to stand by each other without pointing fingers at each other!!!
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Old 12-25-2011, 06:02 AM   #19
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Typical females!!! They can't even understand each other and they can't seem to stand by each other without pointing fingers at each other!!!
T.T. you do know pigheaded?


Ladies- we have gained control!
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Old 12-27-2011, 04:27 AM   #20
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Quote:
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T.T. you do know pigheaded?


Ladies- we have gained control!
Control of yourselves?
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