Register Groups Members List Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Like Tree101Likes

Forum Home - Go Back > General > Native Life Ideas on keeping son's long hair up off his shoulders... Ideas on keeping son's long hair up off his shoulders...

Reply LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 11-03-2014, 04:37 PM   #1
Pow Wow Visitor
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
RunnerDucks is off the scaleRunnerDucks is off the scaleRunnerDucks is off the scaleRunnerDucks is off the scaleRunnerDucks is off the scaleRunnerDucks is off the scaleRunnerDucks is off the scaleRunnerDucks is off the scaleRunnerDucks is off the scaleRunnerDucks is off the scaleRunnerDucks is off the scale
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: TN
Posts: 4
Credits: 114.14
Savings: 0.00
Ideas on keeping son's long hair up off his shoulders...

Ok, new to the forums so hi everyone :)
I'm looking for help on a few things. My son has just started school this year and his long hair is giving our school a heart attack. Originally they told me I'd have to cut his hair and several teachers are still bothering me about this. I haven't budged and I don't plan on cutting it. I've sent him to school in wide boyish headbands to be told school policy doesn't allow bandannas, sweat bands, scarves etc They say his long hair even if put up is too distracting and must be kept up above his shoulders. If I do a regular bun he looks like a little girl ballerina and I don't want to send him to school like that. Braids aren't above his shoulders. Any ideas on manly hairstyles above the shoulders for long hair?

Next question and unrelated. I'm not even sure on how to phrase the question. How would I go about finding an elder from our tribe to learn our ways? Basically the blood quantum went byebye with my grandma and she also died before I was born. I know for sure what tribes her family had married in to and out of over the years and I really do want to learn more about where I come from. I also married a man that's a little less than half blackfoot (not the southern "I'm a cherokee princess blackeet type" the type from MT) His dad was adopted and other than a few picture they have no one knows the name of the family or lady. Other than the Cherokee in the NC area which is about 200 miles from us I don't know of any Native peeps living around us. I'm just trying to learn about my heritage and I really want my kids to learn about it too. It sucks knowing you are something but having no traditions left because somewhere a few generations ago being Indian was bad :(
RunnerDucks is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-03-2014, 11:41 PM   #2
Hello from SoCal
 
TeenaBear's Avatar
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
TeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Southern California
Posts: 51
Credits: 832.45
Savings: 0.00
Quote:
Originally Posted by RunnerDucks View Post
Ok, new to the forums so hi everyone :)
I'm looking for help on a few things. My son has just started school this year and his long hair is giving our school a heart attack. Originally they told me I'd have to cut his hair and several teachers are still bothering me about this. I haven't budged and I don't plan on cutting it. I've sent him to school in wide boyish headbands to be told school policy doesn't allow bandannas, sweat bands, scarves etc They say his long hair even if put up is too distracting and must be kept up above his shoulders. If I do a regular bun he looks like a little girl ballerina and I don't want to send him to school like that. Braids aren't above his shoulders. Any ideas on manly hairstyles above the shoulders for long hair?

Next question and unrelated. I'm not even sure on how to phrase the question. How would I go about finding an elder from our tribe to learn our ways? Basically the blood quantum went byebye with my grandma and she also died before I was born. I know for sure what tribes her family had married in to and out of over the years and I really do want to learn more about where I come from. I also married a man that's a little less than half blackfoot (not the southern "I'm a cherokee princess blackeet type" the type from MT) His dad was adopted and other than a few picture they have no one knows the name of the family or lady. Other than the Cherokee in the NC area which is about 200 miles from us I don't know of any Native peeps living around us. I'm just trying to learn about my heritage and I really want my kids to learn about it too. It sucks knowing you are something but having no traditions left because somewhere a few generations ago being Indian was bad :(
Answer to question #1: I'm not sure where you live, but in California, teachers are not allowed to discriminate against or withhold education from anyone due to religion/tradition. Do you know why you are growing his hair out, by the way? Do you know what it stands for? Maybe you will be able to educate his teachers/principal if your son attends a private school. If he attends public, it may be harder to get through to administration.
Since the teachers at your school are being ninny's, what you can do is pull back into a low braid and tuck into his shirt so that his braid falls in his shirt. You shouldnt have to "hide" his hair and it's sad that you feel like you have to take this route.

Do you only know you're native by word of mouth? Have you conducted formal genealogical research? You'd be surprised how many people think they are native who really arent and vice versa. Word of mouth carried on a long way. If you feel like you know for certain that your family is from a certain tribe, see if they have a website and start there. Many tribes have the basics about their history on their home page. The next step could be to call the historian and ask any questions you may have.
TeenaBear is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-04-2014, 07:06 PM   #3
Pow Wow Visitor
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
RunnerDucks is off the scaleRunnerDucks is off the scaleRunnerDucks is off the scaleRunnerDucks is off the scaleRunnerDucks is off the scaleRunnerDucks is off the scaleRunnerDucks is off the scaleRunnerDucks is off the scaleRunnerDucks is off the scaleRunnerDucks is off the scaleRunnerDucks is off the scale
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: TN
Posts: 4
Credits: 114.14
Savings: 0.00
The school is public school. I don't want to cut his because it seems just innately so wrong. Your body works hard to grow your hair, it grows long like tree branches or roots if you will, it connects you to the energy of what's around you and it seems like if you cut your hair that connection would be lost. I'm not great at explaining and I apologize if it sounds crazy. I mean what's the first reaction most women have to an extremely big change in their life, say a death or end of a bad relationship? They want to go cut their hair off and disconnect themself from that past. I feel like your hair connects you to your past like that. Still crazy, I know. We live in TN and unless you're a super holy roller Christian they don't really make any exceptions to rules here and to bring in a religious exemption I have to be an enrolled member of a church that supports those ideas. So that's a no go for me.

Genealogy wise, I have researched our family. I know I'm stuck on one side about 3 generations back bc I can't trace the names any farther back and the man and woman never officially married...they wouldn't let a white lady marry a native man bc of race laws in 1890s. One other side of the family is traceable to Pennsylvania and they have Delaware in them. Now as far as my husband goes I'm not sure where to begin. His dad is Blackfoot adopted out to a white family in the 70s. He has a few pics of his mom and grand parents but hasn't been able to find out any info on his birth parents' names to find them. I just wasn't sure if contacting an elder from online was the right move to make or if someone else had a better idea.
RunnerDucks is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-05-2014, 09:55 AM   #4
Pow Wow Visitor
 
wanjica_the_one's Avatar
 
Items PresentDolphinDevil
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
wanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond repute
wanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: west of the missouri (lakota)
Posts: 1,046
Credits: 46,372.86
Savings: 0.00
You're in Tennessee, either go with the norm, move out or go into hiding.
windanncer likes this.
__________________
Wanjica Infinity No One
wanjica_the_one is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-05-2014, 10:04 AM   #5
Dances With Fat Chicks
 
milehighsalute's Avatar
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
milehighsalute has a reputation beyond repute
milehighsalute has a reputation beyond reputemilehighsalute has a reputation beyond reputemilehighsalute has a reputation beyond reputemilehighsalute has a reputation beyond reputemilehighsalute has a reputation beyond reputemilehighsalute has a reputation beyond reputemilehighsalute has a reputation beyond reputemilehighsalute has a reputation beyond reputemilehighsalute has a reputation beyond reputemilehighsalute has a reputation beyond reputemilehighsalute has a reputation beyond reputemilehighsalute has a reputation beyond reputemilehighsalute has a reputation beyond reputemilehighsalute has a reputation beyond reputemilehighsalute has a reputation beyond reputemilehighsalute has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: May 2012
Location: DENVER
Posts: 1,057
Credits: 31,977.76
Savings: 0.00
its illegal to discriminate in public school PERIOD
__________________
"I on the trail of a possible good Indian lady and she is reported to like the old way's and she to believes in big family and being at home with kids all the time"... - MOTOOPI aka WOUNDED BEAR
milehighsalute is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-07-2014, 03:04 PM   #6
Pow Wow Visitor
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
LieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scale
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 8
Credits: 140.00
Savings: 0.00
I've dealt with similar situations at my school. There was a kid who wanted to grow his hair out, but the principal wouldn't let him go back to school unless he cut his hair to his ears (Because that's the rule, not the shoulders). He curled the ends of his hair and tucked it behind his ears. When it got to a point where it wouldn't stay like that, he tucked it under a beanie (even though our school didn't allow hats in the class room). He's going to a new school and it's at his shoulders. He had grown it longer, but had to get it cut. This was at a private school, however.

At a public school, I'd deem this as discrimination. If your son's hair is well kept, and isn't some crazily dyed mess, the school has no say. Why is it that his hair is distracting past his shoulders, but not on a girl? That's absurd. You need to speak with an administrator. If worse comes to worst, put him in a different school if he wants to.(I wouldn't stay; I left the school that I talked about earlier. I wanted to cut my hair into a bob, but I would get kicked out of school. There was a rule that all girls had to have their hair to their shoulders and not past the hips.)

How much further past the shoulder's is your son's hair? Not all hairstyles for pulling up hair work. It depends on the length, but I'll try to make a recommendation.

As for your heritage, I'd say that you should look beyond a reservation. I don't live nearby any reservations that I'm related to, but I know a lot about my heritage through research. Before I knew I had Native blood, I took an interest in Native American culture. I first found out about them in school, actually. Since I went to a private school before the "politically correct" movement. I was able to learn about how Native REALLY lived. We spent an entire semester watching documentaries, reading biographies, visiting theaters, museums, schools, watching plays, and actually partaking in activities like basket weaving and dancing. I would make a suggestion of looking to see if there are any of those things near you. There are high schools and colleges dedicated to students of Native American heritage that are usually open to the public to host events. They host plays, dances, and other activities that contain a lot of educational aspects.

If all else fails, you can spend the extra time to visit a reservation, ask these forums, or attend a powwow. The people there are great resources for information and can guide you around the community.
TeenaBear likes this.
LieutenantKat is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-07-2014, 08:23 PM   #7
Pow Wow Visitor
 
wanjica_the_one's Avatar
 
Items PresentDolphinDevil
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
wanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond repute
wanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond reputewanjica_the_one has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: west of the missouri (lakota)
Posts: 1,046
Credits: 46,372.86
Savings: 0.00
"Before I knew I had native blood"

Were you a different person?
__________________
Wanjica Infinity No One
wanjica_the_one is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-08-2014, 10:11 AM   #8
The voices tell me...
 
Joe's Dad's Avatar
 
Items CatCatCatCat
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
Joe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond repute
Joe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: I'm right here!
Posts: 15,803
Credits: 140,234.81
Savings: 1.00
Quote:
Originally Posted by RunnerDucks View Post
Ok, new to the forums so hi everyone :)
I'm looking for help on a few things. My son has just started school this year and his long hair is giving our school a heart attack. Originally they told me I'd have to cut his hair and several teachers are still bothering me about this. I haven't budged and I don't plan on cutting it. I've sent him to school in wide boyish headbands to be told school policy doesn't allow bandannas, sweat bands, scarves etc They say his long hair even if put up is too distracting and must be kept up above his shoulders. If I do a regular bun he looks like a little girl ballerina and I don't want to send him to school like that. Braids aren't above his shoulders. Any ideas on manly hairstyles above the shoulders for long hair?

Next question and unrelated. I'm not even sure on how to phrase the question. How would I go about finding an elder from our tribe to learn our ways? Basically the blood quantum went byebye with my grandma and she also died before I was born. I know for sure what tribes her family had married in to and out of over the years and I really do want to learn more about where I come from. I also married a man that's a little less than half blackfoot (not the southern "I'm a cherokee princess blackeet type" the type from MT) His dad was adopted and other than a few picture they have no one knows the name of the family or lady. Other than the Cherokee in the NC area which is about 200 miles from us I don't know of any Native peeps living around us. I'm just trying to learn about my heritage and I really want my kids to learn about it too. It sucks knowing you are something but having no traditions left because somewhere a few generations ago being Indian was bad :(
I'm not feeling this. We all know North Carolina borders Tennessee. Bible Belt land. Rednecks and Good Ol' Boys.

I lived in North Carolina for many years. My son was is/was in the North Carolina 4th grade Social Studies book BEFORE he started kindergarten. The first day of school, he was welcomed with open arms...by the principal. His hair was below his shoulder blades the first day of school. I took him to school. He is 27 now and has NEVER had his hair ABOVE his shoulder blades. My hair is below my shoulder blades.

You can't stand up to something if you don't know why you are standing up.

Not having traditions isn't because being Indian was bad. Not having traditions is because one's family didn't think it important enough to suffer the consequences of being different that the dominant culture.

So, if you think you are Indian, then you would know you don't buckle to demands of the school administration.

I'm 60 years old and I've had my hair past my shoulders for over 45 years of those 60 years. When asked if I would cut my hair o keep my job, I answer, "I can always find a job".

Personally, I don't think you are Indian enough to stand up to the fight ahead.
__________________


Why must I feel like that..why must I chase the cat?


"When I was young man I did some dumb things and the elders would talk to me. Sometimes I listened. Time went by and as I looked around...I was the elder".

Mr. Rossie Freeman
Joe's Dad is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-08-2014, 10:24 AM   #9
The voices tell me...
 
Joe's Dad's Avatar
 
Items CatCatCatCat
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
Joe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond repute
Joe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond reputeJoe's Dad has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: I'm right here!
Posts: 15,803
Credits: 140,234.81
Savings: 1.00
Quote:
Originally Posted by LieutenantKat View Post
I've dealt with similar situations at my school. There was a kid who wanted to grow his hair out, but the principal wouldn't let him go back to school unless he cut his hair to his ears (Because that's the rule, not the shoulders). He curled the ends of his hair and tucked it behind his ears. When it got to a point where it wouldn't stay like that, he tucked it under a beanie (even though our school didn't allow hats in the class room). He's going to a new school and it's at his shoulders. He had grown it longer, but had to get it cut. This was at a private school, however.

At a public school, I'd deem this as discrimination. If your son's hair is well kept, and isn't some crazily dyed mess, the school has no say. Why is it that his hair is distracting past his shoulders, but not on a girl? That's absurd. You need to speak with an administrator. If worse comes to worst, put him in a different school if he wants to.(I wouldn't stay; I left the school that I talked about earlier. I wanted to cut my hair into a bob, but I would get kicked out of school. There was a rule that all girls had to have their hair to their shoulders and not past the hips.)

How much further past the shoulder's is your son's hair? Not all hairstyles for pulling up hair work. It depends on the length, but I'll try to make a recommendation.

As for your heritage, I'd say that you should look beyond a reservation. I don't live nearby any reservations that I'm related to, but I know a lot about my heritage through research. Before I knew I had Native blood, I took an interest in Native American culture. I first found out about them in school, actually. Since I went to a private school before the "politically correct" movement. I was able to learn about how Native REALLY lived. We spent an entire semester watching documentaries, reading biographies, visiting theaters, museums, schools, watching plays, and actually partaking in activities like basket weaving and dancing. I would make a suggestion of looking to see if there are any of those things near you. There are high schools and colleges dedicated to students of Native American heritage that are usually open to the public to host events. They host plays, dances, and other activities that contain a lot of educational aspects.

If all else fails, you can spend the extra time to visit a reservation, ask these forums, or attend a powwow. The people there are great resources for information and can guide you around the community.

This is probably the worse type of advice you can receive.

First, you don't know your heritage 'through research', you live it.

Second, you don't deviate how you wear your hair to meet 'their' standards. You don't move to a different school.


This writer says they learned how Natives REALLY lived by watching television, reading books, visiting theaters/museums and making baskets. Not once does the writer say they visited a reservation, cut firewood for a grandmother, fed an NDN or had any INTERACTION with a true Native American.

AND NOW THEY ARE GIVING ADVICE! This kind of message makes me sick.
__________________


Why must I feel like that..why must I chase the cat?


"When I was young man I did some dumb things and the elders would talk to me. Sometimes I listened. Time went by and as I looked around...I was the elder".

Mr. Rossie Freeman
Joe's Dad is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-08-2014, 08:05 PM   #10
Pow Wow Committee
 
OLChemist's Avatar
 
Items ElephantPresent
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
OLChemist has a reputation beyond reputeOLChemist has a reputation beyond reputeOLChemist has a reputation beyond reputeOLChemist has a reputation beyond reputeOLChemist has a reputation beyond repute
OLChemist has a reputation beyond reputeOLChemist has a reputation beyond reputeOLChemist has a reputation beyond reputeOLChemist has a reputation beyond reputeOLChemist has a reputation beyond reputeOLChemist has a reputation beyond reputeOLChemist has a reputation beyond reputeOLChemist has a reputation beyond reputeOLChemist has a reputation beyond reputeOLChemist has a reputation beyond reputeOLChemist has a reputation beyond reputeOLChemist has a reputation beyond reputeOLChemist has a reputation beyond reputeOLChemist has a reputation beyond reputeOLChemist has a reputation beyond reputeOLChemist has a reputation beyond reputeOLChemist has a reputation beyond reputeOLChemist has a reputation beyond reputeOLChemist has a reputation beyond reputeOLChemist has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 3,587
Credits: 78,963.72
Savings: 0.00
With all due respect, how does one not know one is Native?

Aren't the brown people at the family get togethers a hint? Weren't the family stories a dead give away? What about all the "different" thing you did that the people around you didn't do?

My mom didn't exactly wear the Indian Pride t-shirt, but she'd no more turn her back on her kin than she'd cut off her remaining hand. If you don't take care of your family, you're less than human. The cutting off the kin is the part of these stories with which I have problems. It is the ultimate rejection of the essence of Native identity -- abandoning the community to gain advantage in the dominant culture. There are some wounds that take a lot to heal -- perhaps more than can be given by either side.
OLChemist is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-08-2014, 08:08 PM   #11
Pow Wow Visitor
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
LieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scale
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 8
Credits: 140.00
Savings: 0.00
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanjica_the_one View Post
"Before I knew I had native blood"

Were you a different person?
No, I just wasn't aware I had Native relatives
LieutenantKat is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-08-2014, 08:20 PM   #12
Pow Wow Visitor
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
LieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scale
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 8
Credits: 140.00
Savings: 0.00
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe's Dad View Post
This is probably the worse type of advice you can receive.

First, you don't know your heritage 'through research', you live it.

Second, you don't deviate how you wear your hair to meet 'their' standards. You don't move to a different school.


This writer says they learned how Natives REALLY lived by watching television, reading books, visiting theaters/museums and making baskets. Not once does the writer say they visited a reservation, cut firewood for a grandmother, fed an NDN or had any INTERACTION with a true Native American.

AND NOW THEY ARE GIVING ADVICE! This kind of message makes me sick.
Heritage is who you are related to by blood, it's where you came from. Though it can include living your traditions, it's not limited to that. I never personally knew my Native relatives because they passed away, so I had to do research to prove to the reservation I was related to someone who once lived there.

I guess I needed to specify we watched documentaries that were created by actual Natives that showed life on a reservation. I read books written by Natives. Why do you think I said "biographies?" We went to a NATIVE theater that put on shows for traditional dances that explained the meaning behind them and why individual tribes do so. We wove baskets with our teacher who grew up on a reservation and told us that she learned her basket weaving techniques from her mother. As what our teacher said, "Basket weaving gives us an idea that Native life involves much handiwork which is considered an art."

I clearly stated that she should visit a NATIVE AMERICAN college or high school campus because the teachers and students are transfers from reservations who can give her accurate information on Native life and show her some activities for her and her family to do.

I understand that none of these activities can really touch actually living on a reservation, I was just trying to give the woman who asked the question of some ideas that she could use until she is able to find a way to visit a reservation more close by.
TeenaBear likes this.
LieutenantKat is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-08-2014, 08:30 PM   #13
Pow Wow Visitor
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
LieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scale
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 8
Credits: 140.00
Savings: 0.00
Quote:
Originally Posted by OLChemist View Post
With all due respect, how does one not know one is Native?

Aren't the brown people at the family get togethers a hint? Weren't the family stories a dead give away? What about all the "different" thing you did that the people around you didn't do?

My mom didn't exactly wear the Indian Pride t-shirt, but she'd no more turn her back on her kin than she'd cut off her remaining hand. If you don't take care of your family, you're less than human. The cutting off the kin is the part of these stories with which I have problems. It is the ultimate rejection of the essence of Native identity -- abandoning the community to gain advantage in the dominant culture. There are some wounds that take a lot to heal -- perhaps more than can be given by either side.
.....I was 6 when I found out I was Native.....

Brown people aren't a giveaway. My family could easily be Mexican for all I know. Sorry I was young and wasn't aware of the differences in culture. Family stories and living a few of my family's traditions was normal to me.

My father left the tribe. He didn't want to be a part of it. I still do. However, my Great Uncle left the reservation after getting remarried to a Non-Native woman and my grandfather passed away. I no longer have ties to Native culture except through my grandmother who tells me a few tales of what life was like for her. Other than that, it's gone. All I wanted to do was to give this woman an idea of things she could do, that I did, because they helped further my insight of what life was like for my family. That is all. I'm sorry if I offended you. That wasn't my intention.
TeenaBear likes this.
LieutenantKat is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-08-2014, 11:39 PM   #14
Me & Eyes are the best !
 
wardancer's Avatar
 
Items DevilPresent
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
wardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond repute
wardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: S.E.Kansas (again) LOL
Posts: 16,136
Credits: 78,116.57
Savings: 1.00
Quote:
Originally Posted by LieutenantKat View Post
I've dealt with similar situations at my school. There was a kid who wanted to grow his hair out, but the principal wouldn't let him go back to school unless he cut his hair to his ears (Because that's the rule, not the shoulders). He curled the ends of his hair and tucked it behind his ears. When it got to a point where it wouldn't stay like that, he tucked it under a beanie (even though our school didn't allow hats in the class room). He's going to a new school and it's at his shoulders. He had grown it longer, but had to get it cut. This was at a private school, however.

At a public school, I'd deem this as discrimination. If your son's hair is well kept, and isn't some crazily dyed mess, the school has no say. Why is it that his hair is distracting past his shoulders, but not on a girl? That's absurd. You need to speak with an administrator. If worse comes to worst, put him in a different school if he wants to.(I wouldn't stay; I left the school that I talked about earlier. I wanted to cut my hair into a bob, but I would get kicked out of school. There was a rule that all girls had to have their hair to their shoulders and not past the hips.)

How much further past the shoulder's is your son's hair? Not all hairstyles for pulling up hair work. It depends on the length, but I'll try to make a recommendation.

As for your heritage, I'd say that you should look beyond a reservation. I don't live nearby any reservations that I'm related to, but I know a lot about my heritage through research. Before I knew I had Native blood, I took an interest in Native American culture. I first found out about them in school, actually. Since I went to a private school before the "politically correct" movement. I was able to learn about how Native REALLY lived. We spent an entire semester watching documentaries, reading biographies, visiting theaters, museums, schools, watching plays, and actually partaking in activities like basket weaving and dancing. I would make a suggestion of looking to see if there are any of those things near you. There are high schools and colleges dedicated to students of Native American heritage that are usually open to the public to host events. They host plays, dances, and other activities that contain a lot of educational aspects.

If all else fails, you can spend the extra time to visit a reservation, ask these forums, or attend a powwow. The people there are great resources for information and can guide you around the community.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LieutenantKat View Post
No, I just wasn't aware I had Native relatives
Quote:
Originally Posted by LieutenantKat View Post
Heritage is who you are related to by blood, it's where you came from. Though it can include living your traditions, it's not limited to that. I never personally knew my Native relatives because they passed away, so I had to do research to prove to the reservation I was related to someone who once lived there.

I guess I needed to specify we watched documentaries that were created by actual Natives that showed life on a reservation. I read books written by Natives. Why do you think I said "biographies?" We went to a NATIVE theater that put on shows for traditional dances that explained the meaning behind them and why individual tribes do so. We wove baskets with our teacher who grew up on a reservation and told us that she learned her basket weaving techniques from her mother. As what our teacher said, "Basket weaving gives us an idea that Native life involves much handiwork which is considered an art."

I clearly stated that she should visit a NATIVE AMERICAN college or high school campus because the teachers and students are transfers from reservations who can give her accurate information on Native life and show her some activities for her and her family to do.

I understand that none of these activities can really touch actually living on a reservation, I was just trying to give the woman who asked the question of some ideas that she could use until she is able to find a way to visit a reservation more close by.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LieutenantKat View Post
.....I was 6 when I found out I was Native.....

Brown people aren't a giveaway. My family could easily be Mexican for all I know. Sorry I was young and wasn't aware of the differences in culture. Family stories and living a few of my family's traditions was normal to me.

My father left the tribe. He didn't want to be a part of it. I still do. However, my Great Uncle left the reservation after getting remarried to a Non-Native woman and my grandfather passed away. I no longer have ties to Native culture except through my grandmother who tells me a few tales of what life was like for her. Other than that, it's gone. All I wanted to do was to give this woman an idea of things she could do, that I did, because they helped further my insight of what life was like for my family. That is all. I'm sorry if I offended you. That wasn't my intention.
just looks like a crap load of excuses to me. I live in small town america , amongst a population of mostly white...say 98.9% white , black .5% , mexican .5% , native .1% . My sons hair was to the back of his knees when he graduated ! No One , I repeat , NO ONE ever said he had to cut his hair. No one ever even questioned it , it was just understood. He did keep clean and neat in a braid. No one ever questioned the kids absences when we took off days for powwows or ceremonies. When we got back I'd call the school and tell them why we were gone and what it was for and that was the end of it. It was always excused and the kids always got to make up their work. But then , I'm old like Joe'sDad and I didn't learn who I am out of a book !And neither did my kids !
__________________
I believe blood quantums are the governments way to breed us out of existance !


They say blood is thicker than water ! Now maple syrup is thicker than blood , so are pancakes more important than family ?

There are "Elders" and there are "Olders". Being the second one doesn't make the first one true !

Somebody is out there somewhere, thinking of you and the impact you made in their life.
It's not me....I think you're an idiot !





There's a chance you might not like me ,

but there's a bigger

chance I won't care
wardancer is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-09-2014, 02:24 AM   #15
Pow Wow Visitor
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
LieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scaleLieutenantKat is off the scale
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 8
Credits: 140.00
Savings: 0.00
Quote:
Originally Posted by wardancer View Post








just looks like a crap load of excuses to me. I live in small town america , amongst a population of mostly white...say 98.9% white , black .5% , mexican .5% , native .1% . My sons hair was to the back of his knees when he graduated ! No One , I repeat , NO ONE ever said he had to cut his hair. No one ever even questioned it , it was just understood. He did keep clean and neat in a braid. No one ever questioned the kids absences when we took off days for powwows or ceremonies. When we got back I'd call the school and tell them why we were gone and what it was for and that was the end of it. It was always excused and the kids always got to make up their work. But then , I'm old like Joe'sDad and I didn't learn who I am out of a book !And neither did my kids !
Yeah, well America is a pretty diverse place. Just because there are more whites where you live, doesn't mean there are where I live. I live near the boarder. I'd say 95% of my town is Mexican. I've met only a few blacks, whites, asians, and Native Americans. Just because your son did not have to cut his hair does not mean every other school is as open minded. I was trying to give my two cents to this woman who wants to allow her son to keep his hair long; some schools will kick students out who do not obey dress code. As for absences, that also varies by school, but I have been able to leave for powwows without having to explain my absence any further than calling the office. I was trying to give some ideas to this woman, after all, she said she was "washed up" meaning there is not enough blood to prove she can be a registered member of a reservation. I thought books might be a good resource available for to her to learn a little bit from until she is able to find a reservation she can visit.
LieutenantKat is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-09-2014, 03:45 AM   #16
Pow Wow Visitor
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
1DancingBear is an unknown quantity at this point
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 5
Credits: 176.01
Savings: 0.00
Quote:
Originally Posted by RunnerDucks View Post
Ok, new to the forums so hi everyone :)
I'm looking for help on a few things. My son has just started school this year and his long hair is giving our school a heart attack. Originally they told me I'd have to cut his hair and several teachers are still bothering me about this. I haven't budged and I don't plan on cutting it. I've sent him to school in wide boyish headbands to be told school policy doesn't allow bandannas, sweat bands, scarves etc They say his long hair even if put up is too distracting and must be kept up above his shoulders. If I do a regular bun he looks like a little girl ballerina and I don't want to send him to school like that. Braids aren't above his shoulders. Any ideas on manly hairstyles above the shoulders for long hair?

Next question and unrelated. I'm not even sure on how to phrase the question. How would I go about finding an elder from our tribe to learn our ways? Basically the blood quantum went byebye with my grandma and she also died before I was born. I know for sure what tribes her family had married in to and out of over the years and I really do want to learn more about where I come from. I also married a man that's a little less than half blackfoot (not the southern "I'm a cherokee princess blackeet type" the type from MT) His dad was adopted and other than a few picture they have no one knows the name of the family or lady. Other than the Cherokee in the NC area which is about 200 miles from us I don't know of any Native peeps living around us. I'm just trying to learn about my heritage and I really want my kids to learn about it too. It sucks knowing you are something but having no traditions left because somewhere a few generations ago being Indian was bad :(
If the school can not be reasoned with, and fighting with them is not something you are willing to do, or cutting his hair then this video might help.

I know it is traditionally for girls, but if his hair is long enough to make it then he will be a cutie with a bob!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-3E7W5k49Y

What is the school's hat policy? I mean you could always braid it and stick it under a hat if you needed to.
1DancingBear is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-10-2014, 12:29 AM   #17
Hello from SoCal
 
TeenaBear's Avatar
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
TeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Southern California
Posts: 51
Credits: 832.45
Savings: 0.00
Let's not turn this into an, "I'm more Indian than you" / "I know more about Indians than you do because I heard stories from Elders" thread. I think there was great advice given on how the OP could further educate oneself on his/her ancestry (or culture). Isnt this forum about preserving history/traditions/culture? If not, I must be in the wrong place...
TeenaBear is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-10-2014, 01:25 AM   #18
Me & Eyes are the best !
 
wardancer's Avatar
 
Items DevilPresent
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
wardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond repute
wardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: S.E.Kansas (again) LOL
Posts: 16,136
Credits: 78,116.57
Savings: 1.00
And this come from the one who thinks it just fine for some little girl to dress up in a pocohottie costume for holloween ??? You've already been assimilated , you have no clue ......
windanncer and subeeds like this.
__________________
I believe blood quantums are the governments way to breed us out of existance !


They say blood is thicker than water ! Now maple syrup is thicker than blood , so are pancakes more important than family ?

There are "Elders" and there are "Olders". Being the second one doesn't make the first one true !

Somebody is out there somewhere, thinking of you and the impact you made in their life.
It's not me....I think you're an idiot !





There's a chance you might not like me ,

but there's a bigger

chance I won't care
wardancer is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-10-2014, 03:50 AM   #19
Hello from SoCal
 
TeenaBear's Avatar
 
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
TeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond reputeTeenaBear has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Southern California
Posts: 51
Credits: 832.45
Savings: 0.00
Quote:
Originally Posted by wardancer View Post
And this come from the one who thinks it just fine for some little girl to dress up in a pocohottie costume for holloween ??? You've already been assimilated , you have no clue ......
How dare you say I "have no clue" when you don't even know me... Yes, I think it's just fine for little girls to dress up as the Disney Princess they admire. If you don't, then that's your prerogative. Your opinion doesn't make you a "better Indian" or "more Native" than anyone else. Get off your high horse and quit making Natives look like pompous a-holes.
TeenaBear is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Old 11-10-2014, 10:21 AM   #20
Me & Eyes are the best !
 
wardancer's Avatar
 
Items DevilPresent
User InfoThanks / Tagging InfoGifts / Achievements / AwardsvBActivity Stats
wardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond repute
wardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond reputewardancer has a reputation beyond repute
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: S.E.Kansas (again) LOL
Posts: 16,136
Credits: 78,116.57
Savings: 1.00
Quote:
Originally Posted by TeenaBear View Post
How dare you say I "have no clue" when you don't even know me... Yes, I think it's just fine for little girls to dress up as the Disney Princess they admire. If you don't, then that's your prerogative. Your opinion doesn't make you a "better Indian" or "more Native" than anyone else. Get off your high horse and quit making Natives look like pompous a-holes.
I'm not on a "high horse" I only know you by your posts . They indicate that you have a very relaxed point of view towards native issues. Very similar to most of the thin blood wannabes that come on here to proclaim their indian-ness. I never once said I was a better ndn or more ndn. What I said was there is no question about my family being ndn. The only time I take issue with people around here is when they lump all ndns together , like we're all one tribe. Then I let them know I am Cheyenne and Arapaho. Other than that I pretty much leave it alone , cause well , you know , it's not my problem. I will tell you this , your attitude is one that is not looked at favorably on this site , and if you take offense at what I've said , you really won't like some of the others on here. I'm one of the nicer ones !Good luck
__________________
I believe blood quantums are the governments way to breed us out of existance !


They say blood is thicker than water ! Now maple syrup is thicker than blood , so are pancakes more important than family ?

There are "Elders" and there are "Olders". Being the second one doesn't make the first one true !

Somebody is out there somewhere, thinking of you and the impact you made in their life.
It's not me....I think you're an idiot !





There's a chance you might not like me ,

but there's a bigger

chance I won't care
wardancer is offline   Reply With Quote Share with Facebook
Sponsored Links
Reply

Bookmarks


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Hair Plates Historian Straight Dancing 2 02-20-2012 01:42 PM
American Indian inmates fight Alabama on long hair ban Skabewis News 0 02-02-2009 03:41 PM
Keeping The Sacred in Sacred Traditions RedbirdsVision Native Issues 10 05-09-2006 09:03 PM
Long Hair in the Military chickendad War Discussion 8 05-02-2006 04:23 PM
Fixing Damaged roach hair sPeK_FancyDancer Fancy Feather Dancing 5 02-21-2002 02:53 AM

    

Join the online community forum celebrating Native American Culture, Pow Wows, tribes, music, art, and history.

Join PowWows.com Today!

Your Guide to Native American Pow Wows Since 1996

Register For Free

Enjoy the benefits of being a member of PowWows.com!

Join our Native American online community focused on Pow Wow singing, dancing, crafts, Native American music, Native American videos, and more.

Add your Pow Wow to our Calendar

Share your photos and videos

Play games, enter contests, and much more!






New Threads

Pow Wow Calendar Search

 
Month: Year:

Location:

Videos

Featured Articles

Dance Styles

Crafts

Gallery