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Forum Home - Go Back > General > Native Life Ideas on keeping son's long hair up off his shoulders... Ideas on keeping son's long hair up off his shoulders...

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Old 11-21-2014, 12:40 AM   #41
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Sorry guys to take so long to reply. I'm not getting emails saying I have responses.
I don't have the money or time to homeschool. I wish I did but it just isn't possible. I totally get being an outsider and I'm pretty sure just about everything in books and text books are wrong about most tribes. I guess my question was more along the lines of asking how to respectfully approach an elder about learning since I am an outsider plus trying to find someone to learn from since I live so far away from any rez. I did have cousins that lived on the Cherokee rez in NC when I was a kid. I don't remeber their names. We visited them maybe twice. I remeber getting the stink eye so much from kids our age bc we were outsiders and pretty white looking. Because of that experience I've been a little worried about how I'd be received when asking to learn too. I don't know why we stopped visiting them. I know my mom is 1 of 5 kids and none of them talk to each other or even knows where the others live. I guess someone pissed someone off. I haven't seen cousins or aunts in 20 plus years.
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Old 11-21-2014, 12:49 AM   #42
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Get some tobacco , maybe a basket of groceries , go see them.
Last time I went to see an Elder I took tobacco , a grocery basket , A big roast , and a blanket. These things show respect and respect for tradition.
Good luck , old family feuds are tough to get around !
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They say blood is thicker than water ! Now maple syrup is thicker than blood , so are pancakes more important than family ?

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Old 11-22-2014, 02:10 AM   #43
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To OP:
wardancer and OLChem are right.

Tobacco is the thing I carry a big bag of all the time. If I want to know something from someone in my extended family, I give them a good pinch of leaves (Tsalvgvyali[old tobacco] has small leaves and is more potent) out of my bag and then ask. If I wanna know the answer to some bigger question, I make them dinner. I'm a thinblood (my siblings are all around half ndn though) so people are often surprised but it works great. A few weeks ago, I offered some Tsalvgvyali to a story teller, and it became a long conversation that made my family wonder where I was... We both sat there smoking and chatting until my grandma blew up my phone. Blood quantum is important for being a legal member of a nation, but shouldn't limit your interaction with your relatives. There was even a chief of the Eastern Band of the Cherokee Nation that was an adopted white person named William Holland Thomas. But as far as he was concerned, his father was Yonaguska and they were family. You should visit your NDN family. Family is the big factor. When I visit my stepdad's brothers or mother, I get welcomed warmly even though our blood quanta are vastly different and they're from an entirely different region than my mother's and father's families. When they come to visit me, I extend the same kind of welcome. But my father's family won't even talk to me. I'm not blood related to my stepdad's family, but I still consider them more important than my blood related father's family. The ones who make the effort get the warm fuzzy feelings and stellar cooking. I hope this makes sense and doesn't ramble too much.

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