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Old 04-03-2007, 09:12 PM   #21
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Lightbulb

I'm Half Oneida and Mexican. My sister is Half White and Onieda.
As a twist of fate I turned out dark and my Sister turned out light.
She has definite Native features and basically looks like an exotic looking white gurl. I have Native features and hair and dark skin.

She grew up solely on the Oneida Rez. I grew up visiting it, till age 15 when I moved in with my adopted Oneida Father. (My family history is super fuzzy) Everyone on the rez knows her and our family. Her peers treat her with utmost respect. Although I believe she has issues with being light skinned. She doesn't go to pow-wows nor go to Long House or Ceremonies. She also doesn't go to church and is not babtized.

Guess what I'm trying to say is, being Indian/Native is inside us. If your half skin friend is ambivalent about actively being a skin then let him. Lord knows I can't force my Sister to act/be anymore Indian than I can make it rain.

Comming to grips with one's cultural identity is a very personal thing. I commend you for your efforts at trying to get him involved and break down his ignorance to his own people. But you can't force someone to be anything.

Look at what happened to our people during the boarding school era.

You can't make your friend embrace his other half. No one can. If he wants to live as a white person so be it. That's his choice. And no amount of frybread and round dancin or corn soup is going to change that...
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Old 04-10-2007, 05:32 PM   #22
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I don't think you should be worried about it. I think you should accept your friend just the way he is.
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Old 04-11-2007, 10:39 AM   #23
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if nothing else works you can try taking it away from him.
we have all seen examples where someone does not appreciate something until it is gone.

if that doesn't work, then maybe it just was not mean to be.
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Old 04-20-2007, 12:34 PM   #24
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this is so easy. white chicks cant compete with a pretty navajo girl. one day she will smile at him and stop him in his tracks.. then comes the laugh. it will be the best sound hes ever heard. then she will tease him with her long hair and then hes done. he will be like "my grandmas from ganado" haha, its that simple one year later he will own a new GMC truck and she will run his finances.. haha and he be chopping wood at her aunts Ndaa. ayes! shell be makin bread and every once in awhile shell smile at him and hell be happy.
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Old 05-03-2007, 12:49 PM   #25
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...just like you....ayes!!!

jks That sounds so sweet!
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Old 05-03-2007, 01:07 PM   #26
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You know, I have plenty of dark-skinned relatives, who look native, who will always LOOK native, who like to pretend they are white. Its sad, but true. It must be nice, to be able to wake up and have a choice. I would never change my skin color or eye color, which lies somewhere between brown paper bag and honey....haha ( my daughter gave me these color descriptions of my skin tone, shes so funny.) Its too bad some folks never learn to be comfortable in their own skin.
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Old 07-02-2007, 01:05 PM   #27
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I had this one friend...well he was a cat...black and white...like Sylvester the cat...well he had no one to raise him except me and the dogs...so he started to act like a dog, smell like a dog, eat like a dog, even to poop like a dog. Well damn that cat...he just pisses me off because he refused to acknowledge that he's a cat. So I got rid of him. Dropped him off on the side of the road off the rez and said "When you learn to recognize that you are a cat, then I will no longer be mad at you and I will befriend you!" And off he went. And to this day I have not seen him. Damn cat.

Sound a lil silly? Well...not to make light of the situation, but yeah this whole thing is a little silly. You can't make people do what they don't want to do. It's not your job to "turn him Indian". That's his job. If he doesn't want it, oh flippin well.
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Old 07-04-2007, 01:42 PM   #28
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I sat here and read everyone's posts...... gooter ones guys. They are all right, just let him be. You can't force anyone to be something they don't want to accept.

Like my little adopted brother, he's 1/2 laguna and 1/2 mexican, but has nothing to do with his heritage. Not like me who's totally embraced my great navajo-ness.....LOL. But deep down inside I think its more fear of the unknown and fear itself to truly accept who he is. Believe me, every time I see him, I talk to him bout researching his tribe, he does have a little sense of pride but won't really say it. I know many many people on the Laguna reservation who will help him, take him in, etc. They want him to come home.

The last discussion I had with him he told me, "I don't need a paper to say I am indian". I was like, its not even about the paper. He's been to powwows, travelled the lands, etc. I think his deepest fear is that how people look at him, as Indian, as some stupid poor young man with no education, etc. The stereotypes, how 'others' view or treats us indians. I know he had the same hard life as me, hard being not financial, but emotional.

Ever think of how hard it is to be indian? All the ridicule, mimicking, judgements, being passed up on good jobs because we are brown, being labeled as drunks, poor, etc. There are times people will pick a fight with you just because you are indian, I have experienced this many times. Not everyone is going to glorify your indian-ness.

There are indians out there who don't even want to be indian. Then there are also indians who outkast their own kind because the individual did not grow up on the rez, know their language, or traditions. Shoot not until I found my family, everyone shunned me because I 'didn't belong' and I am full blood. It didn't matter.

So really think before you try to get this young man into accepting his heritage. I would only suggest to tell him that if he ever has any questions or wants help to research his lineage you'd be willing to help, other than that leave him alone. BTW, he would not be able to enroll with the Navajo Nation because the blood quantum is still 1/4, he wouldn't qualify.

As a good friend just continue to be there for him, if he wants to know he'll ask. Pray for him bout all you can do.
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Old 07-05-2007, 12:53 PM   #29
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I'd have to agree with most of the posts here. Its up to the individual, and any amount of pushing, may have the opposite affect and steer them away completely. My suggestion would be to back off as it may come across to them you are imposing your beliefs on them.

One thing I'd like to say, going to powwows, isn't the only thing that identifies us as Indian. It takes alot to make up our community, and each person has their niche so to speak. Their are those who do crafts, those who sing, those who hold on to the traditional values, those who powwow, those who speak the language, those who hold onto our traditional religion, our traditional medicines, and much more. Each of those functions connects other members in some small way to our nation(s). Not any one of us can know it all, but we each contribute in some small way to make that community function.

Just my two cents.

Last edited by Redstone; 07-05-2007 at 12:56 PM..
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Old 08-02-2007, 09:00 PM   #30
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well like everyone said, you cant make someone embrace their heritage..........you have to accept the decision that he has make........when the time comes, he may want to know about his heritage and then you can help him find the information he wants.

maybe he wasnt raised to accept his heritage........ i know full blood indians who were ashamed of being indian b/c thats what they were taught in boarding schools.....or being raised in relocation programs and didnt have anyone to teach them about their heritage.........sometimes light-skinned indians are called wannabes just because they want to know about their heritage.......so they get discouraged and turn away from their indianess......lol
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Old 08-03-2007, 02:04 PM   #31
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Quote:
Originally Posted by badmaninc View Post
One question I would have is what made this person not care about his history. I have a first cousin who is 1/2 Coast Salish and 1/4 Cree but up until the late 80's the government considered him non-status due to his dad being Metis. Our own people treated him and his siblings terribly because they were fair-skinned. If nobody wants them then why should they want to be ndn. I have apologized to my cousin because I used to tease him about not being able to get tanned like us. I also used to say snotty things like they were only half okay. It must do some pretty emotionally terrible things to people who already feel like they don't belong because of their skin color. They don't know that we as a group are simply doing the Lateral violence thing of crabs in the bucket. Every time somebody tries to do something to improve their lives we haul them back to the bottom to be with the rest of us. Its quite pathetic really. Don't be too hard on your friend, he probably has a lifetime of confusion he has to overcome.
Well said....glad you apologized...that probably made more difference than you know.
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Old 08-03-2007, 02:22 PM   #32
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Ok Zambo...if you're still around....dang this a old one huh?
I know exactly what's up now that I saw where you are from. I grew up in the Yay area even went to school in Vacaville for 2 years (dont tell anyone k?)

~For some reason nobody in the Yay wants to be anything but black, white or Mexican. I'm sure this is common elsewhere, but vacaville is pretty white...White is the easiest and the most common. They really make ya pick out there.

Sounds like he's just takin the easy road. If he already looks white its so much easier just to pass for white and leave it at that. I've known VERY few natives in the area, but out of the few I've known I can only think of 2 that gave a sht about their heritage....even the brown ones either tried to fade into the mexican crowd or the wannabe thug crowd and they don't even tell anyone they're ndn. I don't get out much, so there may have been more that I didn't know of....but I don't think so.
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