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Old 11-19-2010, 07:54 AM   #1
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Minding my own business

Ya know, I think sometimes many of my friends have a hard time following my logic.....if it will help,..I'll type s-l-o-w-l-y...
I want to share some insight (perhaps) to realtionships. You will note, I did not say marriage... any similarity to my wife is purely coincidental... I said "relationships".



I am reading a book written by Paul Reiser entitled "Couplehood". You may remember Paul from his tv comedy Mad About You with who was it?...oh yea, Helen Hunt (small crush, her character was so darn cute). Anyway, I'm reading... and I chuckle out loud. It is over heard by my spouse, "What's so funny?" Nothing...something...ok, something I just read...what? So I started to read the passage only to be interrupted with "OH! I get it it's funny cause it's at a woman's expense" Ok I'll continue to read it even though at this point I realize I may have a hostile audience. The following is a direct quote from Paul's book;



"See, when someone else is involved, laziness doesn't look like Laziness. It looks like indifference,presumption, insensitivity, hostility - a whole rainbow of things that all sound worse than what it really is -sitting there minding my own business.

Like dishes.

If I leave dishes in the sink, my wife assumes that I assume I can just leave them there for her. Not true. I assume nothing. I'll clean them... as soon as I notice them. Or as soon as they bother me."



Ok does everyone see that he has made a statement? As well as acknowledges what it "may" look like to someone else.

I continue to read,



"Unfortunately, as I've mentioned, some things don't bother me right away. My wife gets bothered 'sooner'. It's all a matter of timing. Learning each other's Lag time; how long you have between Event and Annoyance of said event.

For example, If I use the jar of mustard at nine o'clock, I may not notice that it's still sitting on the counter until, oh, say....that Friday.

Now, if my wife notices sooner, does that make me insensitive? I think not. It's just who we are.

I would argue *( I am going to just say something here as a personal footnote- "respectfully suggest" sounds better than argue...but let's continue) that if it bothers you, and you need to put it away, then by all means, put it away. I'm willing to let you do that. I will forego my schedule so that you may honor yours. I will not be offended, just dont you be offended and assume, I assume, because you're assuming wrong.

I'm just sitting here minding my own business."



At this point my wife had her hackles up.....BUT... I can still rescue the situation.... I quickly continue to read.....



"The problem is...when two people live together, there is no more business of your own. Your own business is closed. You've merged and gone public."



At this she went "Awwwww" a smart man would have heard this and stopped reading!! I continued.........



"You have to run everything by the partners. And if there are too many conflicts of interest, the business may go under, freeing the partners to once again open up smaller concerns by themselves."

Have you ever tried to stop talking when you know you're in too deep... but somehow, for some dumb reason you keep talking trying to make it better....dumb.. somehow a quiet moment of solitude...just me and a book turned into an afternoon of stares with glares. It was she that asked, they were Paul Reiser's thoughts, I just read em'.....
I was just sitting there minding my own business.
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