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Search: Posts Made By: alumphfres
Forum: Pow Wow Singing 07-09-2019, 01:21 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 312
Posted By alumphfres
Your Opinion, please

What one album do you wish everyone should listen to at least once in their life? Not song, album.
Forum: Jokes and Humor 06-10-2019, 02:11 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 385
Posted By alumphfres
Beer

WOMAN: Do you drink beer?
MAN: Yes
woman : How many beers a day?
MAN: Usually about three
WOMAN: How much do you pay per beer?
MAN: $5.00 which includes a tip (this is where it gets scary!)...
Forum: Jokes and Humor 06-07-2019, 08:57 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 351
Posted By alumphfres
Where's my toast?

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.

'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'

'Sure.'

'Don't you...
Forum: Jokes and Humor 06-07-2019, 02:21 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 330
Posted By alumphfres
Hot Mamma

Morris , an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days...
Forum: Jokes and Humor 06-07-2019, 02:18 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 371
Posted By alumphfres
Banana Split

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlour and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool... After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly,...
Forum: Jokes and Humor 06-01-2019, 04:48 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 327
Posted By alumphfres
Till Hell Freezes Over...

The following is an actual question given on a University chemistry mid-term. 

The answer by one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is,...
Forum: Jokes and Humor 03-02-2019, 07:27 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 1,086
Posted By alumphfres
Green Thing...

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the much older lady that she should bring her own grocery bags, because plastic bags are not good for the environment.

The woman...
Forum: Jokes and Humor 01-23-2019, 12:11 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 551
Posted By alumphfres
Eight Important Facts

Number 8 – Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

Number 7 – Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 6 – Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 5 –...
Forum: Jokes and Humor 01-22-2019, 10:54 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 519
Posted By alumphfres
Medical Advice

Wal-Mart has installed a medical machine, that for $ 10.00 and a urine sample, would diagnose any condition. When my husband went with a sore elbow, the computer printout read, “You have tennis...
Forum: Jokes and Humor 11-27-2018, 12:45 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 554
Posted By alumphfres
Show 'em your badge...

A couple of Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) officers stopped at Sandy Bay First Nation and talked to an old Indian standing on the road.

He told the old Indian, "I need to inspect this land...
Forum: War Discussion 11-11-2018, 12:03 PM
Replies: 6
Views: 578
Posted By alumphfres
Happy Veterans Day

To all my warrior friends within the Teton Lakota Oglala tribe, Cheyenne River Sioux Tribes, Confederated Tribes of the Umatilla and around the world, Happy Veterans Day.
Forum: Jokes and Humor 10-28-2018, 12:30 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 633
Posted By alumphfres
Ain't it the truth...

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni®...
Forum: Jokes and Humor 10-27-2018, 07:28 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 476
Posted By alumphfres
Oh. my golly!!!

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain.

Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
...
Forum: Jokes and Humor 10-23-2018, 10:05 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 522
Posted By alumphfres
Getting Older

A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office.

"Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication
you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so,"...
Forum: Jokes and Humor 10-19-2018, 12:53 AM
Replies: 1
Views: 577
Posted By alumphfres
Contract

A husband died. A few years later the wife died. As she got to heaven she saw her husband and ran up to him with tears in her eyes. "Darling, oh how I've missed you! The husband extends his arms...
Forum: Jokes and Humor 10-03-2018, 11:04 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 476
Posted By alumphfres
True Deer Hunting Story

The guys were all at a deer camp. No one wanted to room with Carl, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take...
Forum: Jokes and Humor 09-26-2018, 01:55 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 470
Posted By alumphfres
Preparing to lose weight - Seriously

Diet Day 1:

I have removed all the bad from my house. It was delicious.
Forum: Jokes and Humor 09-24-2018, 07:29 PM
Replies: 0
Views: 425
Posted By alumphfres
I Wear the Pants in this Family

I wear the pants in this family. My wife says I only have two faults - I don't listen and something else...
Forum: Jokes and Humor 09-24-2018, 06:58 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 481
Posted By alumphfres
Pay Attention...

You had better get over here and clean up this mess or I swear to God I will passive aggressively sigh and pick it up myself!
Forum: Jokes and Humor 09-17-2018, 11:34 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 434
Posted By alumphfres
Super Lazy

I'm Super Lazy today.

It's like Normal Lazy, but I'm wearing a cape...
Forum: Jokes and Humor 08-27-2018, 10:53 PM
Replies: 4
Views: 641
Posted By alumphfres
And You Wonder Why We Think You're Crazy

Do you ever want to say something that’s pissing you off, but you know it will start trouble or an argument, so you hold it inside and let it drive you crazy.
Forum: Jokes and Humor 08-14-2018, 12:33 AM
Replies: 0
Views: 481
Posted By alumphfres
Parenting...

Parenting is a lot like the bar scene: Everyone’s yelling, everything’s sticky, someone's always cryin', it’s the same music over and over again and occasionally someone pukes…
Forum: Chit Chat 08-13-2018, 08:25 PM
Replies: 10,042
Views: 386,258
Posted By alumphfres
OK, maybe I'm being overly critical. Are there...

OK, maybe I'm being overly critical. Are there any more colors for consideration besides those being offered?
Forum: Chit Chat 08-12-2018, 11:17 PM
Replies: 10,042
Views: 386,258
Posted By alumphfres
R e a l l y ?

R e a l l y ?
Forum: Jokes and Humor 08-12-2018, 10:54 PM
Replies: 1
Views: 527
Posted By alumphfres
Golden Age

They weren’t in my pockets. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. My wife has scolded me numerous times for leaving my car keys in the ignition. She’s afraid that the car could be...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 500

 
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