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Some thoughts

Posted 01-05-2009 at 02:18 PM by crazywolf
Boozhoo niji,

I don't know how many people still blog here, but I have some thoughts to write down so here goes. I have had an awful lot of time to think lately.

When I had planned this whole thing, this move, it seemed like a good idea. I thought I had figured out everything. I did not think of what would happen if it all went wrong. I was concerned with success.

I left Florida in June, and came up here on an "extended vacation" to go to the White Earth pow wow. While I was staying at my Uncle's place, and seeing the sights, I looked for work. I had thought, a couple of years earlier, that work would be easy to find, several lawnmower shops around and everyone seemed anxious to hire me. When I came back last year, a lot of those places were out of business.

I had called some of them on the phone six months earlier, amazing how a few months can change things. One of the shops I had spoken with though, seemed upbeat about hiring me though, but not in his lawnmower shop. He needed a mechanic in his truck shop, servicing semis. I went to work immedietly, although I told my new employer that I would have to return to Florida to get my toolbox. They were ok with it, they were willing to work with me and everything seemed ok.

I went back to Florida in July, and got the rest of my things. I had to rent a truck because my old pow wow van was not up to the task, it overheated from being overloaded. The truck cost me $1600, plus gas and travel expenses. I ran up two credit cards and a unsecured loan from my Florida bank to move, but I got everything up here. I have a small trailer that I used to carry most everything, and then my tool box went into the truck.

Well things did not go too well after that. I lost that job in the beginning of September, and bills started to pile up. I did get a job working for WalMart, as something opposed to not having anything at all. The job that I had paid me net $1800 a month, and now I am just making only $800 a month. Its just enough to pay the rent, car payment, and the payment on my camper.

I have been trying to work things out with my creditors, I got a deferrment on my student loan, which will last until February. I even got one of my credit cards deferred, but now everything else is falling behind. I wonder if they are going to repossess my car or camper. If they do repossess my car, its a nice 6 mile hike through the snow to work.

I am thinking of selling my car, that way I can get a little more than what I actually owe on it, and maybe have enough money to buy a cheap car. I would save myself $300 a month, but then I would have to worry about the old car starting or not in -20 cold. But enough about money.

I am still waiting to hear whether or not this one guy I met in Pohnemah wants me to make him a set of bustles. I have sent him some sketches of what I think I can make them look like. I have spoken with him on the phone, but he said he was coming to visit me to discuss it.

I also work with someone, well indirectly, at WalMart. I work back in electronics and she is a cashier. She came up and asked if I could teach her how to make a bustle for her son. I think she likes me. I am going to follow this course and see where it takes me. Also, I got to dance and play with her son at a pow wow last week. It was a lot of fun, and made me wish I had kids of my own.

I have also been talking to people around the pow wows and hooking up, learning things.

So my life is in two extremes right now. one utterly depressing and miserable, and the other full of joy and hopefulness. The one makes the other just barely bearable.

Gigawahbahmin minawah.
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