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Old 11-04-2006, 11:54 AM   #41
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Foxmoon
Thank you so much! I have many friends in my area only 1 is supporting me in my time of need. But I have lots of new FRIENDS here that are very good to me and have help me when I have been in need! I want to let all of you in on how I felt and how I reacted to my daughters news.I was very hurt and angry I was filled with HATE for my own mother and lots of past feelings came back that I have gone to counceling over. I dont feel good about my behavoir! I didn't understand where I failed my daughter. I felt alone and very scared but not for me but for her! I cried I shouted and I shook all over for the first 24 hours. I then was reminded to smudge and talk with the great creator. It help but truely I at first ccalled my daughter names that I should Not of called my worst enemy. I told her to get the F** out and not to come back! I am ashamed of my behavoir. I told her once the baby was born she couldn't live here I did not want to here a baby cry and that I disowned her and the baby and it was not my family and neither was she. When I felt peace and undrstanding it was only because of all of you! You all soften my heart and made me realize how imature I was being with this situation. I have apologized and asked for my daughters forgiveness and been in alot of prayer.I have heard all of your stories that you have shared and taken the time you have helped me in a way that you should be proud of. I am so sorry for doing this aweful thing. I guess I felt that I was to good to be going through this. Not that kind of good but always doing good I am the one always helping other people through there crisis and felt that I couln't have one myself!!!!!!!!You all had very good information and advice and everyone of you pointed a different topic into my heart. Of things that I had forgotten. Like how my daughter must also be very scared until I read that I hadn't even thought of how SHE was feeling. Horrible as it sounds I can honestly say no matter how old we get we always learn from our mistakes and boy I have learned alot. Our children are our best teachers sometimes! I just hope she feels my pain as well as I feel hers now. I want you all to know we have grown closer and there is still alot of room for growing I have Learned from my mistakes. My grandmother used to tell me there is no way I can have any regrets to whatever I do If I have learned from them. So I DO NOT have any regrets from this situation. Me and my daughter have talked against my husbands wishes I will be letting her stay here she will finish school and I will help if need be raise my grandchild and take care of both of them until they get on there feet. I will still pay for her to go to driving school so she can get her lisence and I will do what I can to help even going to drs and classes. I feel everything all of you have said is true and important. I will support my Daughter and baby with whatever decisions she makes. Wow I am A full fledged grown up now LOL ! I don't feel to young anymore to be a grandmother at 37! Thank you all for such great support and understanding. I hope knowbody is disgusted with the way I bahaved at first but now I have my head back and my HEART ! I would like to share a little about myself when I was young and that might help some to understand a little better!

My mother aloud boys to live with me when I was only 15 years old. But she new I was raising her with different values then she raised me my mother had me when she had just turned 17. She took me to bars when I was 12 but I was in bars before that cause she worked in them. She also let me drink and smoke legal and illegal stuff when I was only 15. She became my friend instead of being my mother. When what I really needed was a mother I had plenty of friends! But I have turned out to be a great person lots of struggles and me raising myself with my grandparents influence until I was 25. Do Not get me wrong I love my mom but I do Not agree with her methods of parenting! When I got pregnant She threatened to kick me out but I had a misscaraige then came my oldest the one that is following in my footsteps without even knowing she is. Mom tried to kick me out then but it was a scare tactic when I said fine she helped and I lived with her. She told me that nobody told her anything to help her with me so I would have to figure things out for myself. I never was around kids I was an only child and never even babysat!! I had no clue what I was doing. I was left again to fend for myself and raise myself into what I thought a parent should be. So once again I want to thank all of you for caring for the human race enough to take out of your time to talk, advice and share your stories and feelings on this matter of crisis with me it has changed many lives and some we might not even know about yet! You all will be blessed in many different ways for this!

Much love goes out to you all
You have a good and open heart. It is very difficult to speak with such honesty about ones self and family. I am sure that no matter what happens you will have the internal strength and wisdom to respond from a place of love. Some times we need a little distance and reflection to come around and see things more clearly.
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Old 11-04-2006, 01:11 PM   #42
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I have a theory

Quote:
Originally Posted by DaCotau
You have a good and open heart. It is very difficult to speak with such honesty about ones self and family. I am sure that no matter what happens you will have the internal strength and wisdom to respond from a place of love. Some times we need a little distance and reflection to come around and see things more clearly.
Thank you about the honesty! My theory is you can steal from me and I know what you have taken BUT lie to me and I dont know what your lying about.
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Old 11-08-2006, 12:42 PM   #43
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Da DA da The results are in!

I want to thank all of you once again for your support and new friendships. The results from her pee test were negative. We also just got her blood results back and it was NEGATIVE yahooooooooooo! We have grown closer with this crisis and we will be going to an aids clinic and a mothers clinic for abused woman. I feel it is very important that she understands adult life since she is now becoming an adult!
Thanks so much I never saw the tag thing in right hand corner so I dont know what it does or is sorry I pressed it if it does something stupid
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Old 11-08-2006, 03:40 PM   #44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Foxmoon
I want to thank all of you once again for your support and new friendships. The results from her pee test were negative. We also just got her blood results back and it was NEGATIVE yahooooooooooo! We have grown closer with this crisis and we will be going to an aids clinic and a mothers clinic for abused woman. I feel it is very important that she understands adult life since she is now becoming an adult!
Thanks so much I never saw the tag thing in right hand corner so I dont know what it does or is sorry I pressed it if it does something stupid
BIG SIGH OF RELIEF!!! Good luck, Foxmoon - I hope it does bring you closer.
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Old 11-11-2006, 01:55 PM   #45
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Thank you

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Originally Posted by trob226
BIG SIGH OF RELIEF!!! Good luck, Foxmoon - I hope it does bring you closer.
We are going as a family to a native thanksgiving thing up the street from us. It should be lots of fun my oldest daughter the one that gave us a scare loves to dance. So I feel it will be very good for her!

I will update yall on how it goes with my mom we still have not told her that it was done in her care. I need some advice whether I should only let my mom have supervised visitation with both my kids because she let my daughter's boyfriend spend the night at her house when she was the adult its going to be hard no matter what cause it's my mom!

Thanks
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Old 11-11-2006, 02:54 PM   #46
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Foxmoon
I will update yall on how it goes with my mom we still have not told her that it was done in her care. I need some advice whether I should only let my mom have supervised visitation with both my kids because she let my daughter's boyfriend spend the night at her house when she was the adult its going to be hard no matter what cause it's my mom!
Thanks
Your Mom may have just been naive. Maybe if you talk to her about kids not being the angels grandparents believe they are. Talk about the ground rules you expect her to uphold. If it looks like she's taking you seriously then it should be OK, but if it doesn't appear that she is taking you seriously then worry about supervised visits.

My adopted father has to have supervised visits because he doesn't take my son's milk allergy seriously. Although this is a different situation the result is the same. Saying they need to have supervised visits is very difficult. I found it really hard & my husband helped me with the conversation & I don't even like my adopted father, so if you love your Mom, it won't be easy, get support, maybe get your daughter to help you talk to your Mom. If she did that it would show alot of responsibility on her part.

Best wishes on this; Suzze
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Old 11-11-2006, 05:11 PM   #47
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Wow

Quote:
Originally Posted by SuzzeQ4
Your Mom may have just been naive. Maybe if you talk to her about kids not being the angels grandparents believe they are. Talk about the ground rules you expect her to uphold. If it looks like she's taking you seriously then it should be OK, but if it doesn't appear that she is taking you seriously then worry about supervised visits.

My adopted father has to have supervised visits because he doesn't take my son's milk allergy seriously. Although this is a different situation the result is the same. Saying they need to have supervised visits is very difficult. I found it really hard & my husband helped me with the conversation & I don't even like my adopted father, so if you love your Mom, it won't be easy, get support, maybe get your daughter to help you talk to your Mom. If she did that it would show alot of responsibility on her part.

Best wishes on this; Suzze
Some other issues of her not taking me for real had already come up when my oldest was about 8 years old. She let her play with fire mix aclhol drinks and watch rated R movies. She didn't even make her eat good food the whole time she would watch her. Only candy and junk food! I had already told her to make him leave no later then 10 pm and she didn't listen to what I felt was good for her! So I guess I already knew my answer just didn't want to deal with it!
Thanks
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