Grieving Process For You

[dine_darling]

What do you do to make grieving bearable? How do you help those you love make it more bearable? I'm trying to help my aunt with the loss of my uncle but I can only hold her hand when she cries I feel useless.

[Gah-Gah!]

As long as you are there for her I am sure she is fine with that!

I am sure she has probably been on the other side as well, where she tried to comfort someone and felt the way you did.

Grieving is very uncomfortable for everyone involved, just continue to be there as a shoulder to cry on and to try and lift her spirits when she needs it!

[Cree Sweetheart]

You are doing just fine...

[tradish_wiyan]

Yes, you are doing the best thing that you can for her...being there.

[Awahili]

It isn't necessarily the words that comfort, but the simple actions, just being there, and holding her hand.

I've been on both sides of sorrow. There are times words just arn't enough or are too much. A touch, a hug, just hanging on to someone and allowing them their grief, means so much to someone who feels like they are alone.

[GreezyNdN]

It's not the things you say to a person but how you've made them feel. That's the thing they will always remember. So, I think just your presence and letting you know you care is far more than what you think it is.

[Riverwoman]

Originally posted by GreezyNdN
It's not the things you say to a person but how you've made them feel. That's the thing they will always remember. So, I think just your presence and letting you know you care is far more than what you think it is.

I agree with that. If someone is sad, or going thru hard times in my area or family, I Just try and let them know that I am there for them if they need it:)

[Awful_Mnom_Woman]

What a sweetie. You are giving the best thing you can possibly give, and that is your time.

My own way of dealing with grief is that I keep my son alive in my conversations in a positive light. Our family celebrated his birthday, its almost like our grief brings us together. Sorta like we do things that woulda made him happy.

Slowly, this is the way that keeps me going, the happy memories. It will be hard for her for a long time, but let her take as long as she needs to.

[Blackbear]

You are doing all that you really can do. You are being there and supporting her whether you talk or not... and take it from experience, sometimes better not to talk...

I've had so many friends and loved ones pass away in the last 7 years I've lived in Alaska, and the way I grieve anymore is short. But I have to have closure , I have to say my goodbyes or it will go on and on, and it hurts me more to keep being sad and does the deceased nothing either.
For awhile I thought I was getting numb, but then I realised I'm actually getting the closure I need to say goodbye and let them go on and be happy in the next life... why keep being sad for me when they are in a better place and I'll be there too someday?

[Ojidanowe]

Re: Grieving Process For You

Originally posted by dine_darling
What do you do to make grieving bearable? How do you help those you love make it more bearable? I'm trying to help my aunt with the loss of my uncle but I can only hold her hand when she cries I feel useless.

You are doing more than you know. I just lost my son 14 weeks ago and just knowing people are there for me is a comfort. Also, be a good listener if she needs to talk. There is nothing anyone can say that will make grieving more bearable but just being there will. My thoughts are with you and your family.