My friend Susie

[muskrat_skull]

my sister, my friend
I moved so far away that
today I just learned you had
moved even farther
I was afraid to find out for so long
I knew before knowing
I didn't know how to ask
to your daughter, I send all the love you have
to your parents, they can see my tears
I am lost, not knowing who I am
like so many
fragmented
not even knowing how to mourn
so many dead
alone
around the fire
staring into nothing
not knowing how to sing or dance
or pray
not knowing the words to say
or what it means
I look at the moon and remember you
wishing I could have made you leave
go home with me
hoping for a miracle
I was too young to see there was a secret deep inside you
the knife that never stopped cutting
I didn't see the blade buried deep
tearing you to ribbons as you laughed
you only gave me your best
it seemed to me all of you
there was plenty of time
my sister would always be there
my friend could never die
though we were apart
we were never alone
the imagining of our lives
was better than reality
close up how each of us barely kept it together
I imagined you well, home, safe
child tucked in bed, with kisses and hugs
that in the end, you'd save yourself
I tried but you said you were happy
both of us, cracked smiles
what could i say
I wish I knew how to mourn for you
how to send you safe home
my sister we sleep with wolves
still surprised we wake up bleeding
my sister my friend
you sleep with angels and ancestors
if only I had prayed for you
maybe you'd be here
if I wasn't so far away
that if you called out for me
i could have been there
i hope, my sister, my friend, you have peace
that you know you are not alone anymore
that you are remembered for your love and kindness
while others kicked you, or just passed you by
as you lay dying
I take you in my arms now and lift you up
I stand with you always, no matter what
my sister, my friend

For my dear friend like a sister, Susie. We lost touch and I just found out she had passed.

[muskrat_skull]

After I hit the post button, my old man went outside to smoke and found his car horn beeping on its own, repeatedly! He doesn't have a car alarm installed either, its an older car. It took him a while to stop it. The car had been parked for several hours before it started doing this too.

If it is my friend, she has a good sense of humor because she didn't make my car horn beep, but my old man's so and he loves that old car so he was out there pounding on it. I had to laugh, after the shock wore off. He was out there in his skivvies in the cold, it was funny.