Help please guys i need a shoulder to cry on.

**APRILCHOCTAW** · 03-23-2008, 06:18 PM

ok as you see im a bit disheartened so i mispelled alot lol and im 27 not 17....sorry ok carry on.....

please reply anyone with advise..i know youre all wise.

**middle of the sky** · 03-23-2008, 09:10 PM

boozhoo...aniin....hi...i'll be at GON...i dont know too much bout anything...but it will be my first time there also...im from canaduh....say hello if you see me there...everythings gonna be ok....i hope

...

**Joe G** · 03-23-2008, 09:19 PM

Only some advice based on what I've seen, in many parts of the world, among many cultures. If you are honest, polite, and respectful, you will be more than welcome anywhere. If you are rude, pushy, and too quick to be an expert on THEIR culture, you will not be welcome. Just be yourself, and don't stress your ethnicity, most people don't really care, it's more about your character and actions than anything. Hope you have a great time over here.

**JayFive** · 03-23-2008, 09:30 PM

Originally posted by APRILCHOCTAW View Post

I need to adopt an elder to show me the ways but how do i approahc an elder and say teach me...name me????

I know nothing about choctaw traditions and all. I do know according to how I was taught that if you want a name you find out who possess the gift to do so, a genuine medicine person as far as I know.

Tell them you want a name and hand them a bag of tabbaco, the tobacco is a sign of respect and an offering. Being given a name by an elder takes time, so you might want to give them your number or some way to contact you. When you are invited to go to the naming ceremony bring more tobbaco and another offering, a good blanket should do. Whatever you do don't give money, the offering is not a payment for the name.

As far as teaching goes I'm not sure. I would just tell you to get involved, go to Sweats, Pow Wows, and maybe contact someone that can get you invited to a Sun Dance. You can learn a lot at a Sun Dance, although I think it's a Lakota, sioux tradition anyone with an invite can participate or spectate as far as I know so long as you respect certain things that apply to being there.

**Joe's Dad** · 03-24-2008, 01:46 AM

Originally posted by JayFive View Post

I know nothing about choctaw traditions and all. I do know according to how I was taught that if you want a name you find out who possess the gift to do so, a genuine medicine person as far as I know.

Tell them you want a name and hand them a bag of tabbaco, the tobacco is a sign of respect and an offering. Being given a name by an elder takes time, so you might want to give them your number or some way to contact you. When you are invited to go to the naming ceremony bring more tobbaco and another offering, a good blanket should do. Whatever you do don't give money, the offering is not a payment for the name.

As far as teaching goes I'm not sure. I would just tell you to get involved, go to Sweats, Pow Wows, and maybe contact someone that can get you invited to a Sun Dance. You can learn a lot at a Sun Dance, although I think it's a Lakota, sioux tradition anyone can participate or spectate as far as I know so long as you respect certain things that apply to being there.

I'm not one to step on any toes...
but don't put the cart before the horse.

The young lady said she was Choctaw and Caddo.

April, learn the ways of your people before you start delving into other tribal ceremonies. While you have a lot to learn, you seem to have a good heart. Take your time. If it took you this long to find out what you are, then it's going to take you a while to find out who you are.

although I think it's a Lakota, sioux tradition anyone can participate or spectate as far as I know so long as you respect certain things that apply to being there.

Jay Five...this is absolutely incorrect information. When you see guards at the entrance to ceremony , they are there to allow only the ones who are supposed to be there to enter. I'm not sure where you went to ceremony where they allowed spectators to a sundance. Most tribes will not allow Joe off the street to participate in tribal ceremonies.

If you're going to share information on the internet, make sure it is correct.

**APRILCHOCTAW** · 03-24-2008, 09:12 AM

THANKS GUYS...

I feel like a new born baby...I always felt that all cultured should hold on to their traditions so that they are not lost......and i feel that i must learn thoes traditions so that my future children can be fortunate enough to know there culture properly adn not by some book as im having to do.....as for pow wows i dont really look to ever compete in them but i would like to go to them as a way to meet more native people......i cant wait to be gifted a name its almost to me like being reborn....:)

im enjoying the advise so far :0

**Joe's Dad** · 03-24-2008, 10:57 AM

So can u make tortillas?

And future babies, eh?

j/k

**JayFive** · 03-24-2008, 03:42 PM

Originally posted by Joe's Dad View Post

I'm not one to step on any toes...
but don't put the cart before the horse.

The young lady said she was Choctaw and Caddo.

April, learn the ways of your people before you start delving into other tribal ceremonies. While you have a lot to learn, you seem to have a good heart. Take your time. If it took you this long to find out what you are, then it's going to take you a while to find out who you are.

although I think it's a Lakota, sioux tradition anyone can participate or spectate as far as I know so long as you respect certain things that apply to being there.

Jay Five...this is absolutely incorrect information. When you see guards at the entrance to ceremony , they are there to allow only the ones who are supposed to be there to enter. I'm not sure where you went to ceremony where they allowed spectators to a sundance. Most tribes will not allow Joe off the street to participate in tribal ceremonies.

If you're going to share information on the internet, make sure it is correct.

maybe contact someone that can get you invited to a Sun Dance

Read that part of my reference to a sun dance? I've been to many sun dances where I was a spectator, but only because my mother or grandmother was "invited". My reference to being "invited" meant that it's invite only, sorry I should have been more clear on that part. In general reffering to invites means you shouldn't attend unless you are invited.

There is absolutly nothing wrong with learning traditions of other Tribes. As native people we share a common way of living. I understand it would be better to learn the ways of her own tribal roots though. This can be hard for some people because of the lack of cultural traditions and people who practice them today.

I was raised in an large Ojibway family from the cities and my grandmother married a Lakota man. Thats why I refer to sun dance. My grandma's family hadn't had much for Ojibwe traditions in the family since we were distanced from the Rez.

We are taught that no matter what tribe your from you should grasp any and all Native traditions that you come across, like I said they are all one in the same goal. Traditional ceremonial events are hard to come by for people who weren't raised around it, so one should embrace whatever comes across their path.

To say "learn the way of your own people before you delve into other tribal ceremonies" is a bit of incorrect information if you ask me. That somehow implies she should pass up offers or chances to be curious about or participate in other traditions. I do understand where you are coming from, but something in that statement seems wrong.

**dancinfancy** · 03-24-2008, 04:59 PM

Going to the GON is a good first step it's one of the largest powwows around and there are alot of ppl there that know what their talking about. I will tell you that one place to go for what your looking for is the Choctaw rez in Mississippi. I know a guy from there that could barely even speak english when he left from there. If you go to my myspace page there is a guy on there that is Choctaw and goes out there alot he could probable hook you up with someone.

Over all yes being respectful and humble is the best why to get to know ppl, if come in acting like you know everything ppl will like the other way. When you find someone that meets what your looking tobacco and sage are good things to give. Do alot of watching and most importantly LISTEN you can learn so much more if you listen first then ask questions.

I've been where you are it's hard getting started but it's so worth the effort to learn. Good luck in your search and I hope you find everything your looking for.

**Josiah** · 03-24-2008, 05:36 PM

The thing about advice you have to choose for yourself what is good advice and go with it

May I make a couple of suggestions
Slow down
Deep Breath

Ok

Research your Family first it may be possible to get into contact with a Family member (Who by the way would be the best for giving you advice)

I say this because my younger brother had a child when he was young
The Mother decided that she did not want to live here anymore and took the child when she was about 2 to Ohio. Never telling him where she was poof basically disappeared.

When she was 18 her mother told her that she was Ndn and that her Father lived somewhere in Oklahoma
She only knew her fathers name and contacted one by one each person in various towns here in Oklahoma and through that found my sister (Through the Internet)
Persistence pays off but she is in contact with us and we have included her within our family
Traditions start with the family the teachings are there
That will be where your best and accurate information will come from

The Internet is a wonderful Tool but it does not give the ability to Sort through the tons of information that is good, bad or inaccurate...

Find other members of your Tribe
Determine which band or tribe alot of tribes have websites get in contact with them!
Through the research you may find what area they are from
This may lead to others from your Tribe that can also give you more information

**wyo_rose** · 03-24-2008, 06:05 PM

I would say slow down. I don't want to sound mean, but you can't be rushing around asking elders to name you.

Why don't you start by contacting people back in Louisiana to see if you have some Indian relatives back there? Then let things progress naturally from there.

Oh duh...did Josiah say all that. I wrote it but didn't submit right away.

**Josiah** · 03-24-2008, 08:10 PM

Originally posted by wyo_rose View Post

I would say slow down. I don't want to sound mean, but you can't be rushing around asking elders to name you.

Why don't you start by contacting people back in Louisiana to see if you have some Indian relatives back there? Then let things progress naturally from there.

Oh duh...did Josiah say all that. I wrote it but didn't submit right away.

Great Minds think alike
LOL

**Joe's Dad** · 03-25-2008, 12:05 AM

Originally posted by JayFive View Post

maybe contact someone that can get you invited to a Sun Dance

Read that part of my reference to a sun dance? I've been to many sun dances where I was a spectator, but only because my mother or grandmother was "invited". My reference to being "invited" meant that it's invite only, sorry I should have been more clear on that part. In general reffering to invites means you shouldn't attend unless you are invited.

There is absolutly nothing wrong with learning traditions of other Tribes. As native people we share a common way of living. I understand it would be better to learn the ways of her own tribal roots though. This can be hard for some people because of the lack of cultural traditions and people who practice them today.

I was raised in an large Ojibway family from the cities and my grandmother married a Lakota man. Thats why I refer to sun dance. My grandma's family hadn't had much for Ojibwe traditions in the family since we were distanced from the Rez.

We are taught that no matter what tribe your from you should grasp any and all Native traditions that you come across, like I said they are all one in the same goal. Traditional ceremonial events are hard to come by for people who weren't raised around it, so one should embrace whatever comes across their path.

To say "learn the way of your own people before you delve into other tribal ceremonies" is a bit of incorrect information if you ask me. That somehow implies she should pass up offers or chances to be curious about or participate in other traditions. I do understand where you are coming from, but something in that statement seems wrong.

I just read where you wrote it's a Lakota tradition and ANYONE can participate. Somebody may get hold of this and try go go to a sundance and they can say "Jay Five said ANYBODY could participate on powwows.com!" I agree, if you're invited to ceremony, then I would think you are welcomed there. I know I have.

I also think it's good to learn other tribes. By invite, not the internet or books.

**JayFive** · 03-25-2008, 01:06 AM

Originally posted by Joe's Dad View Post

I just read where you wrote it's a Lakota tradition and ANYONE can participate. Somebody may get hold of this and try go go to a sundance and they can say "Jay Five said ANYBODY could participate on powwows.com!" I agree, if you're invited to ceremony, then I would think you are welcomed there. I know I have.

I also think it's good to learn other tribes. By invite, not the internet or books.

My meaning is not in one sentence but speaking as a whole. I sometimes forget that when I say stuff it can be interprited wrong due to the lack of the non-verbal nature on the net. I'm sorry if I offended you and my bad for wording that wrong. I forget that I'm sometimes high context.

To be clear, my meaning behind "anybody" means Non-Natives as well as Natives.

Ishould ahve done it earlier but I'll edit it out.

Help please guys i need a shoulder to cry on.