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New Drugs For Women

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  • New Drugs For Women

    D A M N I T O L
    Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

    ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
    Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

    E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
    Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

    P E P T O B I M B O
    Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

    D U M B E R O L
    When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

    F L I P I T O R
    Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

    M E N I C I L L I N
    Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person . Can we get naked now?

    Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

    J A C K A S S P I R I N
    Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

    A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
    A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

    N A G A M E N T
    When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him

  • #2
    Thanks for that post. I needed a good laugh this morning. I especially like the idea of St. Momma's wort and the jackasspirin. Do they sell those at Walmart? aye!
    We will be known forever by the tracks we leave..Dakota leader.


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