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All I Wanted To Do Was Leave

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  • All I Wanted To Do Was Leave

    I thought that I was done with hate. I thought it was through. But it is not. What transpired on the 26 of Dec was proof of that. I really don't understand why it happened. I don't believe there were too many profound lessons to be learned by me getting my *** kicked severely.

    It is the evil that men do to one another that sickens me. What the **** did I ever do huh? Some might say karma, hmmm yes and no. Some may say I had it coming to me; then again that is a bunch of bull****.

    All I know is that evil has happened to me. Yes I want vengence, but that won't solve anything. I just want to be left alone, without bull**** threatening phone calls and texts etc.

    My vengence will come legally. With the sword thrust and stroke of my attorney. I will pursue this till the bitter end. I want justice. But what is the price of justice? Evil people do evil things. It is really sad. Such a sad state of affairs.

    Some may say "welcome to the family" or "well too bad boo hoo lick your wounds and get on with your life". Wish I ****in could, but no dice. Perhaps if I deserved my beating with a 3 1/2 foot log, then yes I could get on with my life. But I didn't!

    Some may ask "so are you lookin for sympathy?" Perhaps a little, but those of you who really truly know me know that I don't fight with my fists, I use my mind. And I don't fight period. I was at the wrong place at the wrong time and paid the price. And boy oh boy what a ****in price. Brain damage and bills and pain and terror and trauma. What a great ****ing X-Mass present that was. Thanks Jesus.

    Perhaps I may come off a little cynical. But ask yourself what the **** would you do in my situation. Come along with James and walk a mile in his shoes for a spell, you might just start to understand him a little bit more, or you might learn more than you ever baragined for.

    I am a peace loving man, and never in my life have I beaten anyone up. I never lifted a finger to hurt anyone ever. I have been getting beaten up all of my life. I just thought it ended on the school yard. Boy was I wrong. No I didn't have any backup. I was all alone on a forgein rez, miles away from my family and tribe.

    Alone has new meaning to me now. Powerlessness comes to mind too. I cannot stop it from running over and over and over in my mind. Perhaps it has caused me to become unglued. But I ask you, when has James ever been glued period? LOL But seriously, this event has rocked me to my fulcrum. My teeter totter isn't even on the fulcrum any longer.

    I didn't ever think this would happen to me, but perhaps that was a message in disguise. He was an agent of the Dark Powers. He was trying to kill me in this world and not in the Spirit World. If we were in the Spirit World, I would have crushed him like a ****in worm; of that there is not a shadow of a doubt. But the Dark Agents are getting tricky, and reaching out to me in this world.

    Well I say that they have to KILL ME, because they can't break my SPIRIT! I am better than that. I refuse to fight, as did Ghandi and Martin Luther King Jr. I am a Spiritual Warrior and a lover of peace and honor and culture and respect for all people and their right to live happy safe lives.

    So you ask do I hate the pawn of the Dark Powers who tried to kill me? NO, I do not, I pity him and pray that he sees the error of his foolish ways, before it completely destroys his soul. I hate what he did and what happened to me. Pain doesn't feel good folks. It's raw and it envelops you. I thought I had a high tolerance when I jacked up my spine in 2005. But this is a different kind of pain. It is a mind numbing chaotic primal hurt. It makes no logical sense. It only exists to cause a person agony in many ways, with only the physical scars showing.

    I will strive for justice, because I didn't provoke it. All I wanted to do was LEAVE...
    Last edited by OneidaDreamer; 01-19-2008, 04:58 PM.
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  • #2
    News, Go Figure

    Bad people...
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    • #3
      I'm intrigued, what is this all about?
      We will be known forever by the tracks we leave..Dakota leader.

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      • #4
        More Thoughts

        My Girlfriend Michelle was there for me though. I suffered two major concussions to me skull and that bad person jacked up my front tooth pretty good and my left arm and hand.

        My beloved Michelle watched over me for 24 hours that first fateful day afterwards, because a concussion victim cannot be trusted to fall asleep for longer than 2 hours at a crack the first day out of the hospital, or they may suffer further complications. Also Michelle's wonderful family was very concerned for my well being and I am deeply touched and in eternal gratitude and honor to them. I guess the word is INDEBTED.

        When Michelle went to go pick up my pain meds, her Aunti Luanne watched over me all afternoon and part of the evening. Luanne and I had some wonderful conversations and shared memories with one another. We watched Dream Keeper and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, well I guess I passed out for all of F.A.L but she and I have a special special bond now. When Michelle returned with my meds I was fraught with joy and love.

        I couldn't have recovered as fast as I did without the love and honor and respect and kindness of Michelle's family in Mille Lacs. They are a good-honorable-kind-loving family. Whom I respect and love deeply.

        Even out of the darkness of that fated night, I have been made a part of a wonderful family of Mille Lacs Ojibwe's. It just goes to show you that we are a loving, kind, caring, respectful, honorable people.

        Michelle has been there for me through thick and thin. She is my everything and she is my life. I hope to make a life with her and her children in the coming years. I love Michelle with all of my heart. She is my everything, my Sun, my Moon, my Stars.

        I would also like to give her cousin slash nephew slash brother Kookie, her nephew Cody, her sister Rose, her brother-in-law Shane, and her cousin Marcus honorable mention. Because without their support and love and kindness and respect I would have been lost.

        I hope this will shed some light on my blog. It sounded way too cynical and dark and dreary; and was not completely the entire story.


        Peace and Love
        James
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        • #5
          Om Namah Shivaya....may everything negative leave you alone....
          ~~~~

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Margy View Post
            Om Namah Shivaya....may everything negative leave you alone....
            Yawa^ko my friend.
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            • #7
              4 real, all I wanted to do was leave. And leave I did, in a ambulance instead of a body bag...
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