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Seeking the Lost Ones Powwow

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  • Seeking the Lost Ones Powwow

    Posted by lostwolfcrockett

    Seeking The Lost Ones Powwow

    Today I am going to the powwow. I wonder if he will
    return, wasn't his name Kenny?

    Last year, at this powwow, I remember the prayers at
    the beginning, something about "calling the lost
    ones." Who are the lost ones? Ancestors who have gone
    before us to the Spirit world? The grandparents who
    were taken from their cultural traditions & even
    seperated from family? The lost ones could be people
    living today who have lost their ways?
    My mind wandered to my Grandmother. When I was in High
    school, a girl told me my grandmother was half Indian.
    I asked about it later, and Grammy started to say
    something, but Grampa stopped her & she went to the
    other room crying while he preached at me about "...
    you inherited sin nature and it takes seven
    generations to get rid of it...." I didn't realise
    what he was saying at the time.
    After Grampa went to Heaven and Grammy was in a
    nursing home, she told me about her lost son. They
    said her baby died, but he didn't, he was taken away.
    She said she had a son, born with dark skin and it was
    assumed she'd cheated on Grampa, but it wasn't true.
    "I was always loyal to my husband. The baby was dark
    because of me. My father was Penobscott. I have been
    grieving all these years. I miss that baby and my
    relatives I never saw after I got married. I wish I
    could find that son and explain that I would have
    loved him as much as any child, he was taken away
    against my choice, pulled out of my arms." And I think
    she told me he goes by the name Kenny, because I
    remember saying, I can remember that because it is
    like my Uncle Kent.
    A lot of people at the powwows have similar family
    stories they are here to honor. To remember the lost
    ones, who lost their connections. Many here in Maine
    Powwows are "pale-skins" or blue eyes, metis, in the
    west someone might say "wasichu" or "wannabe" -because
    we don't use BIA cards to prove our "pedigree" ( I
    actually heard someone say that once) but we know why
    we are here. To reconnect with lost ones.

    I was worried about not breaking rules. At one powwow,
    a white lady had criticised me. I wondered why listen
    to white ladies who read books and come to powwows to
    make sure we do things right. Anyway, I wanted to be a
    positive part of the powwow and not bring negative
    comments from visitors.

    I saw Kenny arrive with his friend on Sunday
    afternoon, long after Grand Entry. I greeted him and
    said that I wanted to get a picture of us together
    with the last picture on my camera, and get his
    address. I didn't know how to tell him, he looked
    familiar, like family, and I wondered if he was
    related, even my lost uncle, that Grammy told me
    about? So if I got a picture and his address, maybe I
    could find out something later and talk to him again.
    I was glad he didn't smell like alcohol. The first
    time I saw him, he came to a powwow reeking of alcohol
    so I explained that to him. He didn't know anything
    about powwows, but he was obviously an Indian
    descendant, practically the only brown-skin here! He
    asked me to dance with him but I didn't want him to
    think I was interested in being a girlfriend, just a
    friend. But I didn't say it. Then he said, "well, I am
    going to dance." And he went right in the arena with
    his cigarrette in one hand and pepsi in the other. I
    thought of running after him and grabbing his arm and
    explaining it, but I stood there motionless, watching.
    It's okay, he's innocent, I thought as I watched hm,
    he is the lost one we prayed for, he is the one this
    powwow is for, nothing he does is going to be "wrong."

    At the Grand Exit, he danced at the end of the Honor
    Procession, behind the golden agers, and I thought it
    was right for him to be there. Any one who couldn't
    see who we was, the answer to our prayers calling for
    the lost ones, couldn't see what was real. But many
    people do worry about following "rules" and at the
    end, some refused to shake his hand, pushed him aside,
    as if he were shunned.

    My ride came too soon, and I had to leave without
    exchanging addresses or taking the picture. I haven't
    seen him in a year, and don't even know his last name.
    I still have the same camera with one picture left. I
    hope he is brave and comes back to the powwow. I'm
    looking for this lost one, this weekend, praying for
    another miracle. Because we go to powwows to
    reconnect with lost ones. We are all related.
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