I Am

[<<~BehindNDNeyez~>>]

"You look Indian." "You can't be full white." "You're too light to be an Indian." "Then why doesn't your Dad were feathers?" "What are you?" "Where do you come from, anyway?"

I am
Lakota on my Dad's side
White on my Mom's.
I am a mixed blood
and proud My Native roots.

I am still
outgrowing the hurt from
stereotypes,
insults,
and ignorance,
of my youth and the occasional memory
of wondering who to sit with at lunch.

I am the core-splitting emotions
when I questioned weather my skin and hair are too light
to dance with
my people
my tribe.

I am anger and stinging in my heart
the time when I was denied my roots
simply because my eyes are green.

But what I've learned to tell myself
and those who may or may not listen:
One's appearance is visible on the outside, but your heart and strength comes from what lies beneath.

I am Mixed-blood Lakota.
I am bold and shy.
I am sad and ecstatic.
I am white and I am brown.
I am me and I am proud.
and that's where I come from.

I am.

[Joyce L. White Dove]

This is so ture. I am Lakota and Swedish.

Walk in Beauty

[<<~BehindNDNeyez~>>]

Thanks Joyce I am glad u can relate :) I'll tell you, it sure is tough knowing where to fit sometimes. But what's important is that all of us be proud of our roots and feel a connection to our community in some way or another.

[Joyce L. White Dove]

Yes for sure. In one the book I read she says it like wearing a shoe on one foot and a moccasim on the other.

Have a Wonderful Day
Joyce

[MaileenasDad]

Bonds of Strength

Right on. Nice piece.

This thing with our mixed-bloods is heavy duty. I am a mestizo myself. My father was Mexican (I never knew him) and my mother is full-Oneida.

Identity is such a purveying stigma among us. We struggle with just who and what we are and where we stand within and without. Whew that was almost a run on, lol.

But seriously I'm here with you, I went to an all white school in the suburbs/countryside of Green Bay. I was raised by my Oneida Uncle and White Auntie. When my parents divorced when I was 3 I went to live in the sticks off my rez. It was quite awkward to have my Ma attend functions and come to school in the beginning. The other kids just really didn't get it. My NdN father never came to get me, and so I had a hard time explaining that I wasn't white. It really threw my classmates for a loop.

But when you grow up around the same bunch of miscreants lol from 2nd grade to 12th after awhile you just become James. And they cease to see 'color'. All my friends are white now, well 98% of them. And that's cool with me as they are my brothers and sisters. My best friend in the universe that I met in 2nd grade I still talk too. So 26 years I have been friends with this man.

I'm glad I went through what I did. It was quite an anthropologist's roller-coaster if you ask me. And I was raised on and off the rez. I had no contact with my Mexican family/culture in Chicago and didn't live in a bi-lingual household. So I have absolutely no connection whatsoever with other Mexicans. I actually faced racism at the hands of a full-blood Mexican co-worker when I was in the Navy. That was really pretty strange being discriminated against by a fellow person of color. It felt really cold and baleful. And of course he got away with every word. As my superiors would have written it off anyways. But I digress.

All mixed bloods share many commonalities. I've met a woman in Oklahoma who happens to be Comanche/Yankton Sioux. Now how's that for irony?

But by no means am I trying to minimize your experiences whatsoever. I salute you sister. Stay strong...

[<<~BehindNDNeyez~>>]

Identity is such a purveying stigma among us. We struggle with just who and what we are and where we stand within and without. Whew that was almost a run on, lol.

Thanks, MaileenasDad! And agreed! It is very true that there's struggle being a mixed-blood in our community. For me, the hardest part was feeling like half of me was torn one way and the other half torn in a whole different direction. I felt like an outsider. However what I have come to realize now is that both "halfs" are beautiful and although quite different, consist of two wonderful cultures. Both with a strong sense of community and good values. Now I'm not saying that I woke up one day and this all just made perfect sense, it took me quite a while to really be grateful that I have not one but two backgrounds to be proud of.

Haha, I liked when u said anthropologist roller coaster, lol. And it's good to grow and go through all of this "where do I belong" stuff, what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger (and wiser!).
Anyhoo, thanks again for the post and feedback, I'm glad you enjoyed my poem!:)

[MaileenasDad]

N e thyme

[Southernwhitelace]

It's sad that anyone having Native American heritage would feel like an outsider. I think being of Native American heritage is something to be extremely proud of. I am part Cherokee and part English and am most proud of my Cherokee heritage.

[MaileenasDad]

Give the governor Harumph!

It's sad that anyone having Native American heritage would feel like an outsider. I think being of Native American heritage is something to be extremely proud of. I am part Cherokee and part English and am most proud of my Cherokee heritage.

Harumph!

[Southernwhitelace]

Not sure why my comments got a "Harumph" but I certainly didn't mean any offense to anyone.

[MaileenasDad]

it means i agree

[Southernwhitelace]

Cool.