Sick of being judged

[NCheyGirl21]

So ever since my husband left for Iraq a lil over 3 weeks ago we both have been judged very much for who we are. Its getting very tiring and I been distanting myself from people lately because i'm on the verge of a break down. Its not anybody who is native either. Theres been this one girl who lives here in Michigan, also has a man in the Marines. Well she has judged me from the day she has met me but 2 days ago was the last straw. Ever since my husband went back in the marines she has been trying to get his personal information which is not her business[she and her guy have broken up 7 times and she looks him up online every single day. Only hubby and I's business. I had blocked on her my facebook and msn messenger but deleted her off my aim but she would still pop up so I finally had to block off my aim too where only people on my list can see that i'm online. Well 2 days ago, she started judging me for my skin color, how I was raised, where I was born, and that I keep my culture in my life everyday and it makes me happy as hell. Hubby and I both keep the native ways in our everday life rather were together or seperated. Well then this girl told me not to judge people for who they are. Its hard though because of people like her judge people like us. My hubby ended up blowin a fuse and went off on her and told her to leave me and us alone. He also told her if she didn't stop asking for info that was none of her business he would report it to his command. Well I put a block on her so I won't have to worry and I was under alotta stress for a long time cuz of her too. But what i'm tryna say is i'm sick and tired of being judged all my life. Who cares if hubby and I are from different tribes. Who cares if were from different states. Were happy and thats all that matters. Ok so enough me venting but I feel better now.

[middle of the sky]

this busybody sounds like shes mentally disturbed...good youre staying away from her...she obviously has lotsa her own issues...yes, be happy...

[Joe G]

Time to put some serious smack on her azz!

[SheTurtle]

So ever since my husband left for Iraq a lil over 3 weeks ago we both have been judged very much for who we are. Its getting very tiring and I been distanting myself from people lately because i'm on the verge of a break down. Its not anybody who is native either. Theres been this one girl who lives here in Michigan, also has a man in the Marines. Well she has judged me from the day she has met me but 2 days ago was the last straw. Ever since my husband went back in the marines she has been trying to get his personal information which is not her business[she and her guy have broken up 7 times and she looks him up online every single day. Only hubby and I's business. I had blocked on her my facebook and msn messenger but deleted her off my aim but she would still pop up so I finally had to block off my aim too where only people on my list can see that i'm online. Well 2 days ago, she started judging me for my skin color, how I was raised, where I was born, and that I keep my culture in my life everyday and it makes me happy as hell. Hubby and I both keep the native ways in our everday life rather were together or seperated. Well then this girl told me not to judge people for who they are. Its hard though because of people like her judge people like us. My hubby ended up blowin a fuse and went off on her and told her to leave me and us alone. He also told her if she didn't stop asking for info that was none of her business he would report it to his command. Well I put a block on her so I won't have to worry and I was under alotta stress for a long time cuz of her too. But what i'm tryna say is i'm sick and tired of being judged all my life. Who cares if hubby and I are from different tribes. Who cares if were from different states. Were happy and thats all that matters. Ok so enough me venting but I feel better now.

She sounds like a really unstable person. It sounds like you and your husband probably need to report her to your husband's command.

Don't let her get you down. You know who you are, you know where you came from, and you know the traditions that keep you in dignity. She is not acting like a person who is grounded in any sort of tradition, and she is a very lost soul. Her actions are not those of a well-balanced person. Actually, that's some pretty unhinged stuff.

In the meantime, ignore her. Consider the source of that judgement. Even though she may judge you, she is not worthy of judging you. You have to rise above this with the knowledge that her judgement is worthless and unfounded. She has the power to hurt you only if you let her.

She is harrassing you. Keep copies of emails or pms that she sends you, especially those where she asks for your husband's personal information. If her actions escalate, you may need these to make your case to the command. If she is as obsessive as you make her out to be, you may need to do something for your own safety.

She is one person. You have a family and community that loves and cherishes you and your husband. They matter far more.

[Blackbear]

Tell her off and then have no contact with her whatsoever and if she continues get a restraining order. Don't let her stress you out.. don't give her that power.

[NCheyGirl21]

Tell her off and then have no contact with her whatsoever and if she continues get a restraining order. Don't let her stress you out.. don't give her that power.

thanks. my husband was actually online last night and told her off and i'm just not talkin about a little bit of yelling either. he really gave it to her and told her if she kept on asking for his info., ect he would report her to his command. I put a block on her and blocked off my messengers so only people on the lists can see me online.

[NCheyGirl21]

She sounds like a really unstable person. It sounds like you and your husband probably need to report her to your husband's command.

Don't let her get you down. You know who you are, you know where you came from, and you know the traditions that keep you in dignity. She is not acting like a person who is grounded in any sort of tradition, and she is a very lost soul. Her actions are not those of a well-balanced person. Actually, that's some pretty unhinged stuff.

In the meantime, ignore her. Consider the source of that judgement. Even though she may judge you, she is not worthy of judging you. You have to rise above this with the knowledge that her judgement is worthless and unfounded. She has the power to hurt you only if you let her.

She is harrassing you. Keep copies of emails or pms that she sends you, especially those where she asks for your husband's personal information. If her actions escalate, you may need these to make your case to the command. If she is as obsessive as you make her out to be, you may need to do something for your own safety.

She is one person. You have a family and community that loves and cherishes you and your husband. They matter far more.

Thanks. I actually put a block on my messengers where she can't see me after hubby told her off. My husband and I really only have each other. He was raised by his grandma and I was raised by my aunt. My mother treats me like sh*t and ever since I been 18 I been on my own. I'm happy with my life that I have and love my husband dearly. We do have a big pow wow family though.

[Margy]

I agree, please don't let her know in any way that she had some kind of power over you(made you feel bad) in the past, and please try to not let her and her problems get to you anymore. Seriously, if you need to do more than 'just' blocking her, then do so. Cut her off completely. Have you told her in clear words that if she doesn't leave you alone 100%, you will call the police (or whoever) because of her 'stalking'? And nobody- NOBODY- has the right to judge you! Only Creator (or God) can and has the right to. So- her judgement means nothing, has no worth at all. It hurts you as long as you let it hurt you. Why is she so concentrated on you? What do you have what she has not? Is she jealous? Most people who hurt and judge others, are jealous or have real problems with their own life/body/belief/relationship/job/regrets/mistakes/.... A real 'cool' and loving person does not judge or ***-u-me. What you told us makes me believe that you are way much stronger than her. Stay strong and grow from what she's already done to you. Maybe you can look at it as a test. Stay strong, grow, take consequences. and take care.

[Margy]

Thanks. I actually put a block on my messengers where she can't see me after hubby told her off. My husband and I really only have each other. He was raised by his grandma and I was raised by my aunt. My mother treats me like sh*t and ever since I been 18 I been on my own. I'm happy with my life that I have and love my husband dearly. We do have a big pow wow family though.

good.

[middle of the sky]

only god can judge and judge judy...aye....

[Redstone]

She sounds like a really unstable person. It sounds like you and your husband probably need to report her to your husband's command.

Don't let her get you down. You know who you are, you know where you came from, and you know the traditions that keep you in dignity. She is not acting like a person who is grounded in any sort of tradition, and she is a very lost soul. Her actions are not those of a well-balanced person. Actually, that's some pretty unhinged stuff.

In the meantime, ignore her. Consider the source of that judgement. Even though she may judge you, she is not worthy of judging you. You have to rise above this with the knowledge that her judgement is worthless and unfounded. She has the power to hurt you only if you let her.

She is harrassing you. Keep copies of emails or pms that she sends you, especially those where she asks for your husband's personal information. If her actions escalate, you may need these to make your case to the command. If she is as obsessive as you make her out to be, you may need to do something for your own safety.

She is one person. You have a family and community that loves and cherishes you and your husband. They matter far more.

I agree with SheTurtle. Document everything, and turn it in to command. This person is to obsessed, and a possible restraining order may be what is needed. You don't need that kind of stress, and please don't be hard on yourself. Think of the positive things in your life that make you happy. I know it is always hard for loved ones when their spouse is overseas pulling duty. Draw on both family support and I am sure the base has support services for families with overseas members. Seek out legal counsel from one of their services as well. Hang in there, and we will keep you in our prayers.

[chandari]

Why is she so concentrated on you? What do you have what she has not? Is she jealous? Most people who hurt and judge others, are jealous or have real problems with their own life/body/belief/relationship/job/regrets/mistakes/.... A real 'cool' and loving person does not judge or ***-u-me. What you told us makes me believe that you are way much stronger than her. Stay strong and grow from what she's already done to you. Maybe you can look at it as a test. Stay strong, grow, take consequences. and take care.

I agree 100% with what Margy said here. You said she's had lots of problems with their own marriage. Perhaps she is jealous of those who have better marriages than herself and it may not just be you that she's doing this to. It may be others. Please, don't let her get to you. My heart breaks to think that people feel the need to judge others, and make them feel bad about themselves. I've been there, and had whites make me feel that way, and I'm white. Just remember, she will be judged when the day comes, and it is not our judgements that matter or what we think or feel. Live your life to the fullest with your husband. Enjoy every minute of it you can. I realize that's hard with him over in Iraq, and I pray for him that he returns home safely (soon).

[subeeds]

People who judge usually judge from jealousy or insecurity. I can't decide from reading your posts if this girl is wrapped too tight or too loose. I know that this must be especailly tough for you right now with your husband being in Iraq. Don't take this garbage from this girl. It's harrassment any way you look at it. I'll keep you and your husband in my prayers. Hang in there and most of all, believe in yourself. Hear me, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[subeeds]

Could somebody please delete this duplicate post for me?