This past July I traveled with an all-Native team to over 17 different Native Communities and I got a chance to talk on the mic. and one-on-one to different Native girls/woman about my experience with contemplating suicide, attempting suicide and my new life in Jesus Christ.
When I was growing up I was sexually abused for about 5 years straight. I never told my parents, friends or other family members. I just accepted it as reality. When I was in the 6th grade I remember thinking to myself "why am I alive?"
I remember thinking that if God had created me to be a rock I would've had more purpose in life than as a human being. Eventually my heart grew to be as hard as a rock. I never thought I would live past 18. The reason why is because I planned on killing myself at that age. I chose that age because I wanted to honour my parents by graduating high school.
Well "something" made me not kill myself at that age, instead I chose the second "best" road, I became an alcoholic. Drinking led me to weed and weed led me to carelessness. I was soon sleeping with strangers. Whenever the hurts and pains from life began to surface I would confuse them by taking another drink, or smoking another blunt, or sleeping with another guy.
During that time my sister Mindy and brother David began a personal relationship with the Creator through Jesus. I saw their lives change before my very eyes. My sister who was once a self-mutilator now had joy. My brother who was so angry and a former gang member was now gentle and loving. Every time I saw them they had joy on their faces and I so badly wanted that. My life was just barely hanging on by a string.
Finally at the age of 20 I surrendered my life over to my Creator. In the Creators book the Bible it says "All things were created by Him and for Him". We were created for Him but we live for ourselves and in the Bible thats called sin. I was so confused and so depressed because I lived every second for myself when actually I should've been giving every ounce of strength to Him, the Creator. In the Creators book it also says "Your iniquities (or sins) have separated you from your God." My own selfishness separated me from God. So there was a gap between me and God. In the Creators book it says "The wages of sin is death". So there was a "death penalty" for running my own life.
That "death penalty" is something that religion can't pay, good living can't pay and tradition can't pay. The Creators book says "It is by grace you have been saved through faith--and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast."
So my only hope to close that gap between me and God is if the Creator God Himself did something to close it, and He has. I can't have a relationship with the Creator because I'm not perfect or holy so the Creator sent Jesus (who never sinned and who is God) to die in my place and in your place. The Creators book says "Christ died for sins...to bring you to God." I did the sinning, but Jesus did the dying. He paid the death penalty for every wrong thing I've done and will do and He did it for you too. Then He rose from the dead three days later after He died. Jesus is alive!
What YOU do with Jesus is the most IMPORTANT decision you will ever make! :) Its your choice to either except what He did for you or reject it. In the Creators book the Bible it says "Repent and turn to God so that your sins may be wiped out." Repenting means telling God you are sorry for running your own life and you want Him to run it.
Have any of you ever read John 3:16? Put your name in the blank spots;
God so loved_______(your name) that He gave His one and only Son, that (if) ________(Your name) believes in Him, (then)________shall not perish, but have eternal life.
If you want a relationship with the Creator God and you want that gap between you and God to be closed, then that relationship can be yours for life and forever. If you want that relationship all you have to do is tell Him you want it.
Say something like "Creator God, I'm sick of running my own life, I just keep messing up. I've been living for me and from today on I want to live for you. I believe Your Son Jesus Christ paid my death penalty when He died on the Cross. Right now I'm turning from a life of "my way" and I'm putting all my trust in Jesus Christ to erase my sin from Your book, to give me a relationship with You, and to get me to heaven. From today on, I'm yours."
I'm sick of seeing my Native people die to alcohol poisoning, car wrecks, AIDS, suicide. Obviously what we are doing as Native people isn't working, otherwise we'd be running this country. Thats why we need to turn to the One that created life. The inventor of life, God. If you know Him and you're straying away from Him thats when satan wanders in and puts thoughts of suicide in your mind. That's what satan wants, he wants us to kill ourselves! The Creators book says satan came to "kill, steal and destroy." As Natives we can relate to those three words and we normally attach those words to white people. I'm here to tell you that Jesus is not a white mans God. Thats a myth straight from the pits of hell. Satan wants you to believe that!
I was in a battle this past July and it wasn't overseas it was right on our own reservations. I went to Antelope, SD, Eagle Butte, Dupri, Cherry Creek, SD. Crow Agency MT, Lame Deer, Lodge Grass, MT. Rocky Boy, Fort Belknap, Hayes, Browning, MT. Lapwai, Kamiah, IDaho. Omak, Wellpinit, WA. Maybe some of you live on those reservations. Maybe some of you remember the group I was with, they were called "On Eagles' Wings". My heart is broken for our Native people. I talked to one girl in Browning who said when she was in High School 10 of her friends committed suicided within two months. Does that sound right?
Do you think our ancestors fought so that we could waste our lives away to drink, smoke, do drugs, gossip, slander, and have promiscuous sex? I know if they saw us today and saw what was going on on the reservations and even off the reservations they would probably just give up and say "here I am, kill me." We all claim to follow the ways of our ancestors but how many of you honestly do? We need to start following the ways of The Chief Ancestor, the Only One that conquered death, the Only One that walked out of His grave, that's Jesus Christ. I'm not ashamed of Him. He died publicly for me and you, so now I'm living publicly for Him.
This summer I had the honor and privilege of seeing over 1,700 Natives surrender their lives to God and begin a personal relationship with Him through Jesus Christ. Some of them may be you, or your relatives, if you are from any of those reservations I mentioned above.
God's power is made perfect in our weakness. Natives, by number, are the weakest people group in America. I believe that God will show His power through us and I believe that He has and will continue to. Soon it will be us taking His message of hope overseas to white people and we will do it the right way this time. I know white people messed up when they brought that message over to us, but don't let that be an excuse to keep you from the One that created you.
Still unsure about what I'm saying? If you want God to reveal His power to you then do something simple like; (if you wake up by an alarm clock) before you go to bed ask God this "If you are real and if what she is saying is true then wake me up 13 minutes before my alarm clock is supposed to go off." This is a challenge. Don't tell me that my God is not real until you do this.
I also know that my God is omnipotent or all-powerful. If you are still not convinced then to prove to you that He is, who I say He is, this message that I have typed will stick in your head for the rest of your life. :)
Think I'm crazy? Well I'm only saying what God has said through His own book the Bible. If you have a problem with what I said then take it up with God not me. I'm just the messenger. If you have a sincere question then I have a sincere answer.
That's all..
When I was growing up I was sexually abused for about 5 years straight. I never told my parents, friends or other family members. I just accepted it as reality. When I was in the 6th grade I remember thinking to myself "why am I alive?"
I remember thinking that if God had created me to be a rock I would've had more purpose in life than as a human being. Eventually my heart grew to be as hard as a rock. I never thought I would live past 18. The reason why is because I planned on killing myself at that age. I chose that age because I wanted to honour my parents by graduating high school.
Well "something" made me not kill myself at that age, instead I chose the second "best" road, I became an alcoholic. Drinking led me to weed and weed led me to carelessness. I was soon sleeping with strangers. Whenever the hurts and pains from life began to surface I would confuse them by taking another drink, or smoking another blunt, or sleeping with another guy.
During that time my sister Mindy and brother David began a personal relationship with the Creator through Jesus. I saw their lives change before my very eyes. My sister who was once a self-mutilator now had joy. My brother who was so angry and a former gang member was now gentle and loving. Every time I saw them they had joy on their faces and I so badly wanted that. My life was just barely hanging on by a string.
Finally at the age of 20 I surrendered my life over to my Creator. In the Creators book the Bible it says "All things were created by Him and for Him". We were created for Him but we live for ourselves and in the Bible thats called sin. I was so confused and so depressed because I lived every second for myself when actually I should've been giving every ounce of strength to Him, the Creator. In the Creators book it also says "Your iniquities (or sins) have separated you from your God." My own selfishness separated me from God. So there was a gap between me and God. In the Creators book it says "The wages of sin is death". So there was a "death penalty" for running my own life.
That "death penalty" is something that religion can't pay, good living can't pay and tradition can't pay. The Creators book says "It is by grace you have been saved through faith--and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast."
So my only hope to close that gap between me and God is if the Creator God Himself did something to close it, and He has. I can't have a relationship with the Creator because I'm not perfect or holy so the Creator sent Jesus (who never sinned and who is God) to die in my place and in your place. The Creators book says "Christ died for sins...to bring you to God." I did the sinning, but Jesus did the dying. He paid the death penalty for every wrong thing I've done and will do and He did it for you too. Then He rose from the dead three days later after He died. Jesus is alive!
What YOU do with Jesus is the most IMPORTANT decision you will ever make! :) Its your choice to either except what He did for you or reject it. In the Creators book the Bible it says "Repent and turn to God so that your sins may be wiped out." Repenting means telling God you are sorry for running your own life and you want Him to run it.
Have any of you ever read John 3:16? Put your name in the blank spots;
God so loved_______(your name) that He gave His one and only Son, that (if) ________(Your name) believes in Him, (then)________shall not perish, but have eternal life.
If you want a relationship with the Creator God and you want that gap between you and God to be closed, then that relationship can be yours for life and forever. If you want that relationship all you have to do is tell Him you want it.
Say something like "Creator God, I'm sick of running my own life, I just keep messing up. I've been living for me and from today on I want to live for you. I believe Your Son Jesus Christ paid my death penalty when He died on the Cross. Right now I'm turning from a life of "my way" and I'm putting all my trust in Jesus Christ to erase my sin from Your book, to give me a relationship with You, and to get me to heaven. From today on, I'm yours."
I'm sick of seeing my Native people die to alcohol poisoning, car wrecks, AIDS, suicide. Obviously what we are doing as Native people isn't working, otherwise we'd be running this country. Thats why we need to turn to the One that created life. The inventor of life, God. If you know Him and you're straying away from Him thats when satan wanders in and puts thoughts of suicide in your mind. That's what satan wants, he wants us to kill ourselves! The Creators book says satan came to "kill, steal and destroy." As Natives we can relate to those three words and we normally attach those words to white people. I'm here to tell you that Jesus is not a white mans God. Thats a myth straight from the pits of hell. Satan wants you to believe that!
I was in a battle this past July and it wasn't overseas it was right on our own reservations. I went to Antelope, SD, Eagle Butte, Dupri, Cherry Creek, SD. Crow Agency MT, Lame Deer, Lodge Grass, MT. Rocky Boy, Fort Belknap, Hayes, Browning, MT. Lapwai, Kamiah, IDaho. Omak, Wellpinit, WA. Maybe some of you live on those reservations. Maybe some of you remember the group I was with, they were called "On Eagles' Wings". My heart is broken for our Native people. I talked to one girl in Browning who said when she was in High School 10 of her friends committed suicided within two months. Does that sound right?
Do you think our ancestors fought so that we could waste our lives away to drink, smoke, do drugs, gossip, slander, and have promiscuous sex? I know if they saw us today and saw what was going on on the reservations and even off the reservations they would probably just give up and say "here I am, kill me." We all claim to follow the ways of our ancestors but how many of you honestly do? We need to start following the ways of The Chief Ancestor, the Only One that conquered death, the Only One that walked out of His grave, that's Jesus Christ. I'm not ashamed of Him. He died publicly for me and you, so now I'm living publicly for Him.
This summer I had the honor and privilege of seeing over 1,700 Natives surrender their lives to God and begin a personal relationship with Him through Jesus Christ. Some of them may be you, or your relatives, if you are from any of those reservations I mentioned above.
God's power is made perfect in our weakness. Natives, by number, are the weakest people group in America. I believe that God will show His power through us and I believe that He has and will continue to. Soon it will be us taking His message of hope overseas to white people and we will do it the right way this time. I know white people messed up when they brought that message over to us, but don't let that be an excuse to keep you from the One that created you.
Still unsure about what I'm saying? If you want God to reveal His power to you then do something simple like; (if you wake up by an alarm clock) before you go to bed ask God this "If you are real and if what she is saying is true then wake me up 13 minutes before my alarm clock is supposed to go off." This is a challenge. Don't tell me that my God is not real until you do this.
I also know that my God is omnipotent or all-powerful. If you are still not convinced then to prove to you that He is, who I say He is, this message that I have typed will stick in your head for the rest of your life. :)
Think I'm crazy? Well I'm only saying what God has said through His own book the Bible. If you have a problem with what I said then take it up with God not me. I'm just the messenger. If you have a sincere question then I have a sincere answer.
That's all..
Comment