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Why we love kids!!
Why we love kids. (This will bring a smile to your face.)
NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when
a
woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout
from the
back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!
HONESTY
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd
dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it
in the
garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my
bathroom
and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming
little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in
the
toilet a few days ago.
OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note
from
his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are
not
necessarily those of his parents."
KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar.
During
her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to
answer
the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother.
Then
she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now.
She's
hitting the bottle."
MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
locker
room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies
grabbing
towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and
then
asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was
interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at
my
uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued
writing
the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the
police.
Is that right?" "Yes, that's right,! " I told her. "Well, then," she
said as
she extended her foot toward m e, "would you please tie my shoe?"
POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the
station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking,
and
I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back
there?" he
asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then
towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
shut-ins,
I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The
various
appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs,
unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of
false
teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage
of
questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never
believe this!"
DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
heard
the inton! ing of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
Apparently, his
5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that
proper
burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton
batting,
then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with
sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his Father
always
said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn ...... and into
the
hole he gooooes."
SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just
wasting
my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they
won't let me talk!"
NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when
a
woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout
from the
back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!
HONESTY
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd
dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it
in the
garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my
bathroom
and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming
little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in
the
toilet a few days ago.
OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note
from
his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are
not
necessarily those of his parents."
KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar.
During
her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to
answer
the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother.
Then
she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now.
She's
hitting the bottle."
MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
locker
room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies
grabbing
towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and
then
asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
POLICE # 1
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was
interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at
my
uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued
writing
the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the
police.
Is that right?" "Yes, that's right,! " I told her. "Well, then," she
said as
she extended her foot toward m e, "would you please tie my shoe?"
POLICE # 2
It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the
station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking,
and
I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back
there?" he
asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then
towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
shut-ins,
I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The
various
appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs,
unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of
false
teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage
of
questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never
believe this!"
DEATH
While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
heard
the inton! ing of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
Apparently, his
5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that
proper
burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton
batting,
then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with
sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his Father
always
said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn ...... and into
the
hole he gooooes."
SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just
wasting
my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they
won't let me talk!"
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