disrespect to the elders at pow-wow

[kiowakat]

This is to expose wannabe's and bleeding hearts for the wannabe's that are disrespectful to elders at pow-wows....

and I'm posting this cause I love my mom and I know people that know her love her too...my mom is a very simple person would give you the last of anything she had....well I hate when people especially when they are wannabe's and bleeding hearts for the wannabe's, at this one pow-wow here just happened about a few weeks ago asked mom if she can make the evening meal frybread for all the head staff and dancers about 300 plus pieces of frybread she had to make, she starts early in the morning, then fries it up in the afternoon, meaning she was home cooking for this pow-wow during the afternoon session, she was worried that she would miss alot of the dance for this but was willing to do it for the community...always she got done around 3 in the afternoon..we packed up the car and took off with the fresh just cooked frybread, when mom and dad got to the place they called me and asked who was suppose to help them unload, well when they got there nobody offered mom to help her carry this bread in, when mom found the kitchen she brought her bread in and sat it down on table, again nobody said hi or offered to help her.....I finally got there with my grandson,,,mom and dad stayed for the whole dance...now do you think the pow-wow committee offered her to eat with them NO they let her sit out behind the dance circle until they started back up, now after the evening session started mom was worried that they forgot her and they, the pow-wow committee was suppose to pay her 50 bucks for her work with the frybread....so she sat there until all the dance was over , still nobody came up the her and thanked her, now she has to go look for her ice chest that she brought the frybread in, so she walked back to the room where they were feeding and she found her box, she looked up and a younger native was standing there as she watched mom pick up her box and then this young person perceeded to shove a 50 dollar check at my mom and said "oh here is your money" with no thanks and then left mom standing there...this is an outrage to me because my mom is 70 full blooded Kiowa and she is a good woman but why do people especailly the wannabe's and the bleeding hearts for the wannabe's do not reconize elder of their community....are these people sooo big headed that they forget, or I think it was done out of spite but I'm not happy with this organization that says they have students from different areas of different reservations is this how them young people act at home?? Mom don't ask for much but a little respect can go along way. I was upset cause mom didn't understand why didn't this committee call her up during the dance to call her name out, honor her and say that this is the woman who made us all frybread for dinner ..is that to hard to do??? or even if the students came over and shook her hand or hug mom that would of been acceptable too but NONE of these things were done...how disrespectful are people to elders at pow-wows?? .....p.s. still waiting after weeks of somebody to call and apologize otherwise NO FRYBREAD FOR YOU AGAIN!!!!...definitions of my posts....wananbes are cultural vultures and think they are native at heart, but don't have any native in them, the bleeding hearts of wannabe's are natives that defend wannabe's so they can have the "power" BLAH!!!! and there are alot of those people out there and on this site...

[Lakota Wiyan]

Dang! That is just horrible! Well, you tell your Mom, that I, a simple Lakota girl from South Dakota, who wasn't even there, wants to thank her, from the bottom of my heart, for her selfless devotion to tradition. Tell her for all of my family that we appreciate it when someone does something like this for us at powwows, and that because she so humbly accepted even the bad treatment of her, Spirits are going to be blessing her!

And thank you for telling us this embarassing story...SHAME ON YOU,COMMITTEE....if you were truly Native inside and out, you would have made sure that someone helped this Unci (grandmother) and that she was give the first plate of food, and thanked over and over, PUBLICLY. This is a lesson to the rest of us to be more careful in our gratitude....Heck, if anyone makes me even one piece of frybread, I'm giving them my first born!!

But, anyway, thanks to your Mom for her hard work, and thanks to you for your defense of her!

[billyjoejimbob]

Thats messed up.

But there are many factors like if it was a busy kitchen or was she the only person there? I have worked in a busy kitchen and when you are cooking for hundreds you dont have time to scratch your azz let alone talk to people.

But THAT only explains the time around dinner. After dinner is a different story.

Plus, was it known by all or by just 1 or 2 people in the kitchen that she would be making the frybread? Maybe the actual committee didnt even know about her, I wouldnt shoot the whole powwow down for the actions of 1 or 2 people.

The other thing that bothered me is that your post ripped wannabes but the only person that ACTUALLY had contact with her AND disrespected her was a native kid.

Not that I am sticking up for the wannabes...wanabees or native, it doesnt matter when it comes to disrespecting elders. I have been in the situation where one of my friends cooked and SOMEONE ELSE was thanked, all my friends are still pizzy today over that even though it was a person who didnt know it was her that cooked. But I cant get thru to my friends.

Im also guessing that your mom is a quiet person who is happy just to be able to do things for people, Im sure deep inside she if broken up but wont show it because she is such a nice person. Im the same way. Im just happy that I can help, I dont want any accolades. As long as SHE is doing things right, that is all that matters in the end. One day everyone will get what they deserve, I guess its caled fate or karma.

The times they are a changin'. The 70's song applies today too, only back then it was people who wanted to change for the better of EVERYONE, now it is people who want a change or the better of THEMSELVES.

We all have eachother, skru everyone else.

Where is your mom cookin next? (supposed to be licking his lips)

[kiowakat]

yes there was a committee for the food, and its wasn't being cooked everything was being brought in...you should of seen it when they dropped off the supplies friday evening now mind you these where the same students that cried cause they were away from home and missing their elders, well they dropped off the stuff and stayed about 2 minutes within them 2 minutes mom was striking up the conversation that went like this , mom asks so who is your head drum, even mom knows that they were having a northern group but just to talk to someone she asked that question...and the reply was well your daughter has the flyer hasn't she given it to you yet and then left LOL...well I can see they are sore at me cause I was the thorn in their side because I was on them about NATIVES and how they needed to get with it and support natives by giving them the trader tables etc...but at the time of the dance I noticed all kinds of non native vendors so that right there tells me they don't care about anything but themselves....yes mom was deeply hurt BUT won't say anything, alls she knows is that this communtiy is very mean and disrespectful even if they have a grudge with a person or your family then the whole family is ostersized...mom has been in this communtiy for 50 plus years and yeah she had put her time in and needs to sit back and enjoy, not to used!!!!!and I will tell mom what you guys been saying so she knows she is not wrong but them native students and wannabe's are!!!

[kiowakat]

yes I ripped on wannabe's because they were the ones running the pow-wow, you know the people with no cards to show they are native and or the natives that have just found out they are native and that means they know it all...and the students at this university are, I understand young and need to learn protocols but I never would expect them to do that to my mom, an elder of the community, the way that they did her, wether they are mad at me for something or not .....

[kiowakat]

in january they asked mom to do this through me I had to go ask mom if she would do this for them.....so that there, they couldn't even come ask her then.... when I found out that this pow-wow committee was having a fake grandma coyote to tell stories, well come to find out this was a white lady dresses up in fake buckskin and tells stories of native american with puppets, well when I heard that I pulled mom from making frybread and supporting these actions...well weeks later I heard that they cancelled this Delores Santha from the native american week venue...then the following week was the pow-wow so mom decided to make the bread for them...I'm not asking for much just remember any elder in your community wether they be of the same tribe or not, is still an elder...and to me that is years of experiences, wisdom and full of the old day stories, which I enjoy the most...they aren't around forever!!!

[billyjoejimbob]

Story telling at powwows around here is women dressed in bucksin with feathers in their hair telling trickster stories or iktomi stories that they read in a book or creation stories.

I would rather hear stories from the old folks about when they were young.

My friends mom told us about how when they would sing the drum out of the arbor, and when she was a young kid she would keep throwing dollars on the drum so the powwow wouldnt end, she would just keep picking up the ones that fell on the ground and throw them back on the drum.

[crazywolf]

Aaniin niji,

I think one of the best ways to respect our elders is to sit and listen to these stories. The last coupleof times i went to White Earth I would sit and listen to stories, did so more than dancing almost. I even went around after the pow wow and listened to anyone that would tell mea good story. I enjoy hearing them, even the bad ones.

I believe that is one of the roles that elders play in our lives, to teach the wisdom that they have learned over the years. In our tribe it used to be that the winter time was story telling time. But these days with books, tv and the internet who needs storytime. I think a lot of us have forgotten our elders, putting them away in Senior centers and retirement homes where they are easily forgotten.

My own grandmother is in such a place. She has alzimers (sp?) She doesnt even hardly remember me anymore. I visited her a couple of months ago, and I put it in my mind that I was going to be upbeat about the whole thing. 5 years ago when my dad had a stroke he was also in such a place, and it was aweful. This place grandma was is was really good. People everywhere were smiling and the people I did see looked happy. Grandma did seem happy but she didnt seem to remember a lot of things. I had to walk down a hallway to get something from my aunts truck, and then I saw some of the residents that were not so well off. Some of them were totally catatonic, awake but staring straight ahead into space. I thought that my grandmother would eventually be like that, because of the alzimers. After that my whole day pretty much sucked becauseI dwelled on that.

Now I live at home with my mom and dad. Because my dad had a stroke he cannot physically take care of himself. I wonder if someday I will have to put him back in a home. I worry about that all the time.

We have to treasure our elders. They are as much a benifit to our people as any other individual, because of their wisdom. That is why we respect them.

Derek

[little bird]

Dear Kiowakat! I am so sorry you & your grandmother were treated like this! I NEVER treat my elders with disrespect even if I disagree with them...white, black, brown, yellow, or red! It's just NOT RIGHT! I wish I had been there, I would have given her a great big hug and a sweet kiss on her cheek! You do that for me? Thanks!

[little bird]

You tell your grandmother that my husband & I are going to make fry bread tonight in her honor ok?

[billyjoejimbob]

When I was a kid I was in the Boy Scouts, my scoutmaster was an awesome man, knew him and learned from him from 11yers old until I was probably 30. He was like a father to me and many others and every parent loved him. A few years ago he had a stroke caused by meningitis. Totally lost is memory. What was weird was that once you told him who you were, he would remember some things. When I sawhim first, he was looking at me from across the room and walked over and said, "I know you" I told him my name and he responded "Hows your parents?" Which was what he ALWAYS said when he saw me. I almost broke up in front of him. On top of all that he ended up with colon cancer also.

It makes you wonder why this would happen to the greatest man in the world.

I havent seen him in about 5 years now. I would like to, but no matter how hard I try, I cant keep it together.

Just goes to show, dont forget your elders cause when the are gone your gonna kick yourself in the azz.

[Annie Fawn]

There is NO EXCUSE for the way your mother was treated! I run the kitchen for our community breakfasts every month and as soon as someone walks in with food I thank them! No matter how busy it gets and at time it gets real hectic, I CONSTANTLY thank the people who bring in food, help prepare it and especially those who stay when the meal is over and help clean up, stack up the chairs and folding tables ect..I appericate all the help I can get! Wish your mom lived in Ga. I would make sure she knew how much her help was appericated if she cooked for us! The people running that pow wow need to take a course in good manners!

[Morningstar Singer]

I am very sorry that this happened to your mother. I know from heading powwows that the people that help out are the reason things come together and make a powwow a success. I always honor my drums first then staff and workers, without them we have nothing.

I do think that just stating what happened without all the name calling and labeling would have been a better approach. It really takes away from the point being made about your mother being slighted and takes that focus off of her. There are always going to be people that are disrespectful and that should be addressed, but we should always remember who we are and address these things with humility.

[Grits & Beans]

Being an elder she should have been treated with the consideration due her. On top of that she put forth alot of work to make frybread for so many people and the committee neglected to assist her when she brang the frybread in and they did not even thank her properly?

[sokoki_wolf]

I am very sorry that this happened to your mother. I know from heading powwows that the people that help out are the reason things come together and make a powwow a success. I always honor my drums first then staff and workers, without them we have nothing.

I do think that just stating what happened without all the name calling and labeling would have been a better approach. It really takes away from the point being made about your mother being slighted and takes that focus off of her. There are always going to be people that are disrespectful and that should be addressed, but we should always remember who we are and address these things with humility.

if you had ever dealt with these people you might be using the same language ....ive talked with a few of the people and they were very rude and disrespectful types...especially dolores santha...ive had too many dealings with that woman and she deserves NO respect at all..the eomans a total fake and fraud and has scammed literally thousnads of dollars pretending to be ndn over the years...we're fed up with all of this and trust me KK was being nice in her comments...shes the quiet one of the bunch