Have any other parents had to deal with this>>

[Annie Fawn]

Our daughter has a friend who is sweet as can be, BUT her mother is a pain in the @ss! Our daughter likes to have this girl over, but the mom who is a user in the sense of whats in it for her, is starting to talk about how it would be great if ALL 3 of her girls could just come hang out sense we have so much room for them to play outside and run around, ect...
I really dislike this woman and DON'T want her comeing over very often at all! She takes her feelings about her useless ex out on her oldest daughter, expects other people to watch her kids because she doesn't feel like it and is a lousy mom.
Has anyone else had to deal with the love the child, can't stand the parent problem? If so how did you handle it?

[Ginger]

I know what you mean many years ago, my son wanted his friend to come over to play for the day, so I went over to pick him up & the mother left him there with both of his brothers. So what was I to do I couldn't leave these kids alone so I took them with me. and the bioch didn't come to pick them up untill 6 hours later. I told her she was rude & had no right to do that. it was a day for the boys to play not for me to baby sit.
It sound like me that she wants to use you as a baby sitter. tell her no thank you there is only room for the one girl besides the sisters arn't her friends, it's there play day.

[Annie Fawn]

Ginger this woman wants to come "hang out" herself! She keeps telling me she could hang out in my studio with me and I could teach her and give her stuff, while my daughter and her's watch the 2 younger ones. She makes comments about how she's sure our daughter has stuff that is too young for her around the house and I could pass it down to her younger girls, ect.. (like her old playhouse and kitchen set.) Pointing out that we have a 3 year old granddaughter goes right over her head.
This woman used to bowl in my ladies league and when her youngest fell after climbing a ball rack and broght some balls down on her, this woman called her husband to come from work to get the child and take her to the hospital instead of taking her herself! She refused to let any of us take her either! Then she stayed and bowled after sending her oldest daughter who was 10 at the time with her sister and stepfather, saying it was her fault that her sister had fallen because SHE should have been watching her. The little one got 8 stitches in her forehead and had a broken elbow. The oldest girl about to turn 13 needs a break from babysitting the younger ones, and from her mom, but I'm not sure I'm diplomatic enough to deal with this woman.

[Ginger]

GEEEZE she is just palin crazy, and selfish it seems like she thinks the whole world revolves around her.
next time you get the girls together you pick her up and tell the woman you have wonderful plans( what ever it will be) and tell her to have a nice day. then leave. oh and let her know no I have these toys already belong to my Grand Child people like her don't hear the word no you have to stand your ground & so you have to make it immpossibe for her to come over IE you pick up the little girl.

[Mato Winyan]

Wow.... I think I'd be careful with this one. You already know up front she wants things from you. (clothes and all) I would have to wonder why she would want to come over....... is it she's really that needy for friendship? Is she wanting to scout the place out to see what else she could get.

I'd say decide on what you can handle and stick to it. If you can only handle the one girl and she's all you want there.... then so be it.

[Eagle Plumes]

that sounds like its neglect to me and my heart go's to the kids if its that bad where you can see it happoning whats going on when nobody is there to see Id say make a little call and report this horrible mother befroe some thing really bad happons to these children in most places you can do it where nobody knows who made the call so you dont have to worry that she knows you made the call.

[Annie Fawn]

that sounds like its neglect to me and my heart go's to the kids if its that bad where you can see it happoning whats going on when nobody is there to see Id say make a little call and report this horrible mother befroe some thing really bad happons to these children in most places you can do it where nobody knows who made the call so you dont have to worry that she knows you made the call.

My daughter has pointed out that her dad and I still have our foster parent stuff, but shes in the next county so that wouldn't work. The womans mother and grandmother are the best people you would want to meet and they keep an eye on her and the kids as does her Marine brother. It's just the oldest that she blames for EVERY THING! Has told her that she is WORTHLESS like her dad, blames her for having to marry her dad (that child was NOT around when she was sneaking out of her parents house.) She actually treats the 2 younger ones much better usually, but then she had them with this husband.

[Annie Fawn]

GEEEZE she is just palin crazy, and selfish it seems like she thinks the whole world revolves around her.
next time you get the girls together you pick her up and tell the woman you have wonderful plans( what ever it will be) and tell her to have a nice day. then leave. oh and let her know no I have these toys already belong to my Grand Child people like her don't hear the word no you have to stand your ground & so you have to make it immpossibe for her to come over IE you pick up the little girl.

I've told her several times lately that I'm busy working in my studio and don't have time for company, but that Alley by herself is welcome any time since she and my daughter can keep themselve occupied.

[Annie Fawn]

Wow.... I think I'd be careful with this one. You already know up front she wants things from you. (clothes and all) I would have to wonder why she would want to come over....... is it she's really that needy for friendship? Is she wanting to scout the place out to see what else she could get.

I'd say decide on what you can handle and stick to it. If you can only handle the one girl and she's all you want there.... then so be it.

She's pretty needy, doesn't keep friends long after she makes them because of the way she acts.
Our daughter's playhouse is really a 10x12 metal shed, that we insulated, drywalled, added 5 windows and put power in so the kids would have a place to hang out as they got older too. Our youngest is setting it up now to do her stain glass in. They already had a stero out there.
The woman knows we have 15 acres in the country and thinks you can just throw kids out and let them run. Well around here the kids have to watch for poision ivy, snakes, ect... Plus we have the dogs and I don't know how they would act around them.

[Ginger]

She sounds like an angry person, she had a divorce and now instead owning up to the problems she places blame on the oldest. that's just not right. on a personal not I would never ask or tell someone hey why don't you give me some of your stuff. chit that's just plain rude. she sounds like to me she wants to be your friend, pllllssst who needs friends like that. don't trust this woman.

[Annie Fawn]

I don't want her as a friend, I just want to be able to give her oldest daughter a safe place to come and get away from the pressures at home. Problem is, to do that I have to deal with the mother.
I have noticed lately that more and more people seem to want to be friends with us and casually mention that they like to hunt, work on cars (hubby has a big garage and loads of tools) or they really, really like to do ceramics. My answers are, we don't have enough land to hunt on and we live too close to a new subdivision anyway, heres the number for snap on tools, and well come take my class heres the times and place where they are held.
I've been working since I was 10 years old and I don't give away to people who could get off their butts and get/earn their own.

[marie_popcan@hotmail]

Our daughter has a friend who is sweet as can be, BUT her mother is a pain in the @ss! Our daughter likes to have this girl over, but the mom who is a user in the sense of whats in it for her, is starting to talk about how it would be great if ALL 3 of her girls could just come hang out sense we have so much room for them to play outside and run around, ect...
I really dislike this woman and DON'T want her comeing over very often at all! She takes her feelings about her useless ex out on her oldest daughter, expects other people to watch her kids because she doesn't feel like it and is a lousy mom.
Has anyone else had to deal with the love the child, can't stand the parent problem? If so how did you handle it?

Just mention that you are not a babysitter for her other children and that my daughter is a friend of your daughter and would like for them to remain friends with just her. The other woman has to grow up also. She really should not even be having those children under her care if she is a bad mom. The children will grow up resentful and with retaliation. neglegence is a very sad thing for children.

[dancingbear_2]

Your The Parent...your Child Is A Child...you Have Every Right To Do Whats Right For You Children. Thats Saying "no" Now And Than, Believe It Or Not Thats Love. When My Boys Were Young I Was The Mean Parent That Said, "no". Some Parents Would Want To Drop Their Kids Off At My House While They Where Out Doing Their Thing! I Was No Day Care! If You Really Don't Like It...say So.

[marie_popcan@hotmail]

Your The Parent...your Child Is A Child...you Have Every Right To Do Whats Right For You Children. Thats Saying "no" Now And Than, Believe It Or Not Thats Love. When My Boys Were Young I Was The Mean Parent That Said, "no". Some Parents Would Want To Drop Their Kids Off At My House While They Where Out Doing Their Thing! I Was No Day Care! If You Really Don't Like It...say So.

Hey Dancingbear; are you near Restiquoche Reservation?I was with a MicMac from there. And yes the hardest thing for some people to say is NO. You are right about that. I thought that was what I was trying to say.

[dancingbear_2]

Thanks...My location is Maine...My tribe is the Aroostook Band of Micmacs. My dads and his family is from Big Cove NB. I do have some family from there. We are the Mi'kmaq Nation. When I do dance I represent the Mi'kmaq Nation.