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please don't think bad of me

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  • please don't think bad of me

    Hoping someone on here can help me with this. I make dance fans for people. I will work with eagle feathers when someone gives them to me but I explain that there has to be a balance between the two of us when I do this in order to pay respect to the eagle(s) who gave these feathers. A little tobacco is fine and it's mainly to show respect to both sides (this is how I was taught). I was honored when an elder asked me to make a healing fan for him with some tail feathers. My room mate arranged everything and told me that the elder wanted to pay me with some feathers so I can make a fan for myself. When I heard this I was so happy I burst into tears. I met with the elder and talked with him so I could get to know his personality and energy. He is a pastor at a local church and was very polite. When we got back to the house he opened up a box containing feathers from a eagle he got from the D.N.R. He asked me if I could make it fly again and I told him yes. That is when he nodded then turned to my room mate and gave all of the feathers to her. When I got close to the feathers I could tell he had ripped them out of the eagle with a pair of pliers. I could also see the burn marks on them from how the poor thing had died. It looked like it had flown into an electrical line. Because I gave my word I did not back down on making the fan. It took me almost a month to balance out the feathers as he had not balanced them before bringing them to me (let alone properly cared for them... one had mold at the base). I almost had them balanced when he called the house and accused me of being at my room mates thought because I was jealous of her and her feathers. I told him that the only time I had even talked to her about the feathers was when she was having me clean them and when she had used the main flight feathers to extend her fan. She asked me if I was upset at her and I told her no. I explained to her that she isn't the one who unbalanced things and that she needs to bring her fan to a medicine man and get it blessed asap. He came here in a huff and took back the tail feathers saying that I was not a good person to be around. I will not put in here all of what he said to me. All I will say is I have a condition called P.T.S.D. because of events in my past. He put me into a horrible flash back to where my husband had to feed my medication to me to help me get out of it. After all this was done (2 weeks later) he called up my room mate to see how things were going. He told her that I did something to his feathers and they had to be brought to a medicine man to be blessed. That I am a horrible person. He told him that he really upset me with the way he talked to me and questioned him about why things need to be balanced when working with eagle feathers. ( I have been trying my best to teach her about this but she has problems catching on to things from time to time). His response to her was this "Then just tell her to take the f***ing feathers and get the h*** out!" I was in the room and heard this said loudly and clearly over the phone.

    My knowledge about my own culture is very limited. I feel horible talking about an elder like this but everything just seams wrong in this situation. Is there anyone I can go to about this. What bothers me most is people look to him for religious guidance and this is the way he treats others around him. I'm sorry if I am out of line with asking this here but I have no personal connections to any of the tribes around me and have never even been to my own reservation. I need help. Please.

  • #2
    i don't know but maybe you and your husband can try to talk with your friends to explain your condeshon and your might need to realize that your sence of balance is stronger because of your problem ...and if your friend could understad that about you yall could make nice...
    it not about your ppl or about others ppl anger its somthing that troubles you so your the one that need to learn how to stay in your own will with a understanding that your diffrent surly you have a medical person whos helping you.just a few thought on this from someone that does not know you but is trying to help.
    have a good day
    Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass..It's about learning to dance in the rain. for me and the wolf

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    • #3
      in a few words turn your back on this person and do not look back !!!!!!!! This a person with bad medicine ! not you ! He is nasty and not a true "Man of God"
      May the healing power of the Great Creator fall on you today and give you healing !remember to SMILE in the sunshine and enjoy what the Great One gives us . Time is short enjoy it might not be here tomorrow Peace

      Comment


      • #4
        Shadow, I agree with you, this is a poor show for a person wearing a robe,,,oooops did I just admit that there is zero respect for this attitude!
        Listen to my heart, not just my mouth! The most powerfull thing we can do is,,,share,,, if we don't it dies with us.

        It is the year of the bear, I am sharpening my claws and will no longer tollerate harrassment.

        Born in Winnipeg raised in the Pikwakanagan, Deutschland was never home! Army brat that had no choice in a parents duties to home and country. I Too Serve our flag and work for the uniform.
        Stand behind our troops or stand IN FRONT of them.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Tibiki Kinew View Post
          Shadow, I agree with you, this is a poor show for a person wearing a robe,,,oooops did I just admit that there is zero respect for this attitude!
          yepper you did

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          • #6
            MNsitting,

            I dont think anyone here thinks bad of you. You were trying to do something good and pure. If I were to think bad of anymore, it would be the one who claims to be a man of god. I believe that he was out of line and there are many ways that he could have handled it better.

            I am Cherokee (Saponi) and I have never been to my reservation either. My grandparents were full blooded and my mother as well. None of them are registered and that is a shame. Although my blood line has been tainted , I am very proud of my heritage. It would be an honor to one day visit a reservation and to learn how to make dance fans and other items. In addition, I try to attend all of the Pow Wows that I can to show my support for my people.

            I too, think you should listen to the wind. It has many things to tell you and will steer you in the right direction. It is here that you will find the balnce that you seek.

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            • #7
              MNSitting, DO not allow this bitter person to bring you down.
              I have found most the time people are cruel mean and talk smack, it is because they are not happy with who they are, and to make up for it they want others to feel worse than them (much in the same way an extreme alcoholic will drag down others around them)

              Obviously this man is not a happy person. I do not agree with the way he treated you, espeicially in regards to the product. One should not ask someone to be of aid in working with sacred things only to lash out in some bi-polar mood swings

              From your words, I feel you were acting with honor, respect and care for the feathers in paying respects for its life, and trying to heal the energy from being electricuted.
              They probably recieved some ackward energy from him also.

              Do not allow his cruelties to manifest any grief in you. Being a Man of the cloth does not make him perfect. Most people have such ego issues that they feel people of the world are their doormat.

              Pray for him to find peace in his life. Being upset and manifesting his negativity in what he did to you is not a good thing any way yah slice it. Realease your frustrations about it to creator, get it off your shoulders because you do not need that burden weight.

              By the Way, you should go in general crafts and check out our crafting den trading post :) Maybe you could make a trade or 2 and that might cheer you up :D

              (I know the trade i did made me happy)

              Keep your head held high and dont ever forget a Hater is a Hater is a Hater. They wont admit being wrong EVER!
              You are not in the wrong and if anyone tells you otherwise just walk away.

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              • #8
                I agree with you Asmajol, excellent advice.

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                • #9
                  You will never be thought of in a bad way for doing what is in your heart. Helping others is God's way of letting us, "lay the groundwork" for what is to come in our lives. Keep yourself true, respectful, and honorable, and you'll be taken care of by God's own Guardian Angels. As for this "elder", let this pass and don't think another thing about it.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Thank you all for the advice and help. It has really helped me to know that I did nothing wrong. Unfortunately the eagle feathers are in the posession of my room mate. I dought that she would do the right thing and give them back to him. As I have told her already I want nothing to do with them because of who they came from. But I was just checking quick before haveing to run out the door. I will try to check out the tradeing area when I get back home. I have a macaw fan I might be willing to part with if I see something I like lol.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      MNsitting you could always join us in our "Den of Crafters" thread we do this here for that reason. It is a batering thread, where we without cash can still share and share our things, no matter what it is.
                      I do hope that you even part your emotions from those feathers that your friend is now holding on to. That friend may never give them back either,, the EGO trip attached to those feathers is very sick, so for that reason I am glad that you are not in possession of them any more. So do a wee smudge and thank Creator that you were not greedy for them. You are an okay human being, not a bit of bad in you that we can see. Have a great day and drink a cup of tea or coffee with us in spirit.
                      Listen to my heart, not just my mouth! The most powerfull thing we can do is,,,share,,, if we don't it dies with us.

                      It is the year of the bear, I am sharpening my claws and will no longer tollerate harrassment.

                      Born in Winnipeg raised in the Pikwakanagan, Deutschland was never home! Army brat that had no choice in a parents duties to home and country. I Too Serve our flag and work for the uniform.
                      Stand behind our troops or stand IN FRONT of them.

                      Comment

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