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On Saturday my beloved university had this thing called the "All-Nighter." The All-Nighter is an event that lasts, yes, all night and features various forms of entertainment: poker, blackjack, flag football, step shows, and this year, a rock concert. So after a very tiring game of tackle football (flag football is for communists), my Iranian friend (Shahab), who is slightly intoxicated, decides that going to the rock concert is the best f**king idea in the history of time.
Off we go the student union, where upon arrival in the ballroom (where the concert is held) we are surrounded by white people. Hundreds of white people. White people with collars on their necks rimmed with four-inch steel spikes. White people with Mohawks. White people with dreds. Shirtless white people. White people with 30+ piercings. White people with black lipstick. You get the idea.
While cursing Shahab for bringing me to the place where I will clearly lose my life, four cats jump up on stage and start banging drums and wailing on guitars, sending unbelieveably loud noise into speakers that are at least 15 feet tall and 5 feet wide. It was so loud that I couldn't hear myself while screaming and cursing at the top of my lungs. Thirty seconds later, the insanity began.
One white dude pushed another white dude, who in turn pushed someone else, then someone else, and so on. Within seconds, a circle about 20 feet in diameter was cleared in the middle of the crowd, and the thing that happened in that circle is unquestionably the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen in my life: white people were running through the circle slamming into, pushing, tripping, stomping, elbowing, and clotheslining one another - on purpose. Imagine a powwow arena where the dancers purposely flog and tackle each other instead of dancing. That's what this was.
The circle was noticeably getting wider and coming toward Shahab and I. Shahab decides to run into this thing, allegedly named a "mosh pit", and join the mass beating. Shahab isn't in the pit for more than five seconds before he's decked with a forearm and getting trampled. I jump in to get my buddy out, and some freshman literally half my size punches me in the kidney. What happened next was hilarious. I turned around and kicked, yes kicked, this poor kid in the chest all the way to the edge of the pit where three or four guys pick him up above their heads and start passing him around the crowd. While laughing heartily, karma caught up with me as I got knocked over onto the floor right next to Shahab who was, for God knows what reasons, laughing hysterically. Then some a$$hole stepped on my crotch. It was at this point I realized I should've kept playing football.
Never, ever go to a rock concert.
Off we go the student union, where upon arrival in the ballroom (where the concert is held) we are surrounded by white people. Hundreds of white people. White people with collars on their necks rimmed with four-inch steel spikes. White people with Mohawks. White people with dreds. Shirtless white people. White people with 30+ piercings. White people with black lipstick. You get the idea.
While cursing Shahab for bringing me to the place where I will clearly lose my life, four cats jump up on stage and start banging drums and wailing on guitars, sending unbelieveably loud noise into speakers that are at least 15 feet tall and 5 feet wide. It was so loud that I couldn't hear myself while screaming and cursing at the top of my lungs. Thirty seconds later, the insanity began.
One white dude pushed another white dude, who in turn pushed someone else, then someone else, and so on. Within seconds, a circle about 20 feet in diameter was cleared in the middle of the crowd, and the thing that happened in that circle is unquestionably the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen in my life: white people were running through the circle slamming into, pushing, tripping, stomping, elbowing, and clotheslining one another - on purpose. Imagine a powwow arena where the dancers purposely flog and tackle each other instead of dancing. That's what this was.
The circle was noticeably getting wider and coming toward Shahab and I. Shahab decides to run into this thing, allegedly named a "mosh pit", and join the mass beating. Shahab isn't in the pit for more than five seconds before he's decked with a forearm and getting trampled. I jump in to get my buddy out, and some freshman literally half my size punches me in the kidney. What happened next was hilarious. I turned around and kicked, yes kicked, this poor kid in the chest all the way to the edge of the pit where three or four guys pick him up above their heads and start passing him around the crowd. While laughing heartily, karma caught up with me as I got knocked over onto the floor right next to Shahab who was, for God knows what reasons, laughing hysterically. Then some a$$hole stepped on my crotch. It was at this point I realized I should've kept playing football.
Never, ever go to a rock concert.
This is The Rats way of telling all of his fellow pws.commers that he is in fact one of those dog collar wearing, mohawk do, 30+ piercings kind of guy! :taunting: 
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